Sobriety Date?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Mobile, Alabama
Posts: 27
Sobriety Date?
Hi gang,
I'm new again. I went into rehab in 1989 for alcohol addiction and haven't had a drink since. I had used various drugs recreationally prior to that, but alcohol was definitely my drug of choice back then. I went to meetings, worked the steps, and did very well for many years. No alcohol, no drugs, and the promises were coming true in my life.
Unfortunately, I stopped working the steps and going to meetings a few years ago and eventually, about 2 years ago, I started using prescription drugs. This escalated over the two year period. In the end, I was taking hydrocodone day and night, taking a stimulant (Didrex) in the day, and then taking valium at night. I also had a few other occasional drugs like xanax, soma, ultram, and ambien on hand for occasional use. I became sufficiently miserable in January that I made the decision to taper, which led to the decision to quit it all. I am now back in meetings where I belong.
I had my last doses of hydrocodone and Didrex on 1/20/05. I used ultram to lessen withdraw symptoms, and tapered down to zero on 1/28/05.
I started tapering my valium on 1/27/05, once the opiate/stimulant physical withdrawals had become tolerable. I had been taking valium 15-30mg/day for at least 2 years. The first week, I froze the dose at 15 mg./day, then dropped to 10mg/day for about a week, then to 7.5 mg/day for about a week, and now I am at 6 mg./day, with the intention of dropping approx 1mg/week until I get to zero. I no longer get any buzz whatsoever from the valium, and am only taking it because I have been repeatedly warned that it is medically dangerous to abruptly stop taking a benzodiazepine when you have been on it daily for years as I have. Therefore, I can say in good conscience that I am not taking the valium for pleasure, but to avoid the possibility of a seizure or horrific rebound symptoms. I have never cheated on the valium taper. If I did (or if I do) cheat and increase the dose before I reach zero, I would consider that a slip or relapse.
To further complicate matters, I took ultram last weekend when I had a nasty headache/toothache that ibuprofin would not touch. I really didn't think anything of it, since ultram was little more than a "skittle" to me when I was a hydrocodone addict. However, the next day,(2/21/05 I believe) I was hit with very powerful cravings for ultram--a drug I had never craved before--which lasted for 2 days. This taught me that while ultram may not be an opiate, it's opiod effect makes it a danger to my recovery. I did not give in to the cravings.
I do not know whether to consider the ultram use a slip or not. I took it for pain, and stopped when the pain stopped, and did not give in to the urge to continue taking it once I recognized it as dangerous to my recovery. However, if I am to be entirely truthful, I did know that ultram was an opiod and had abuse potential, although I never subjectively considered it to be a drug I would ever abuse. I now know otherwise. Therefore, if I were to use ultram again in such a situation, I would definitely consider it a slip or relapse.
I have picked up no chips or tokens yet. I am satisfied to be on the path one day at a time, but it would be nice to have a sobriety date like everybody else. Obviously, by alcohol date (11/9/89) is no longer any good, because I became a druggie. Should I wait until I have taken my last sliver of valium before I begin counting days? Do I use the date I stopped using hydro? Do I start after the last dose of ultram? I really don't know. Things were so much simpler the first time around, when I had only one active addiction to quit and did it all at once.
I am not in a hurry. I know that no chip or token can keep me clean and sober; only HP can do that. I have a box full of chips from the 90's, and they did not keep me from using.
Anyway, suggestions from anyone with experience in these matters would be appreciated. I'd like to start counting days, but I don't want to cheat. My life literally depends on it.
Addiction is, indeed, cunning, baffling, powerful---and patient as hell. Thanks for being here.
I'm new again. I went into rehab in 1989 for alcohol addiction and haven't had a drink since. I had used various drugs recreationally prior to that, but alcohol was definitely my drug of choice back then. I went to meetings, worked the steps, and did very well for many years. No alcohol, no drugs, and the promises were coming true in my life.
Unfortunately, I stopped working the steps and going to meetings a few years ago and eventually, about 2 years ago, I started using prescription drugs. This escalated over the two year period. In the end, I was taking hydrocodone day and night, taking a stimulant (Didrex) in the day, and then taking valium at night. I also had a few other occasional drugs like xanax, soma, ultram, and ambien on hand for occasional use. I became sufficiently miserable in January that I made the decision to taper, which led to the decision to quit it all. I am now back in meetings where I belong.
I had my last doses of hydrocodone and Didrex on 1/20/05. I used ultram to lessen withdraw symptoms, and tapered down to zero on 1/28/05.
I started tapering my valium on 1/27/05, once the opiate/stimulant physical withdrawals had become tolerable. I had been taking valium 15-30mg/day for at least 2 years. The first week, I froze the dose at 15 mg./day, then dropped to 10mg/day for about a week, then to 7.5 mg/day for about a week, and now I am at 6 mg./day, with the intention of dropping approx 1mg/week until I get to zero. I no longer get any buzz whatsoever from the valium, and am only taking it because I have been repeatedly warned that it is medically dangerous to abruptly stop taking a benzodiazepine when you have been on it daily for years as I have. Therefore, I can say in good conscience that I am not taking the valium for pleasure, but to avoid the possibility of a seizure or horrific rebound symptoms. I have never cheated on the valium taper. If I did (or if I do) cheat and increase the dose before I reach zero, I would consider that a slip or relapse.
To further complicate matters, I took ultram last weekend when I had a nasty headache/toothache that ibuprofin would not touch. I really didn't think anything of it, since ultram was little more than a "skittle" to me when I was a hydrocodone addict. However, the next day,(2/21/05 I believe) I was hit with very powerful cravings for ultram--a drug I had never craved before--which lasted for 2 days. This taught me that while ultram may not be an opiate, it's opiod effect makes it a danger to my recovery. I did not give in to the cravings.
I do not know whether to consider the ultram use a slip or not. I took it for pain, and stopped when the pain stopped, and did not give in to the urge to continue taking it once I recognized it as dangerous to my recovery. However, if I am to be entirely truthful, I did know that ultram was an opiod and had abuse potential, although I never subjectively considered it to be a drug I would ever abuse. I now know otherwise. Therefore, if I were to use ultram again in such a situation, I would definitely consider it a slip or relapse.
I have picked up no chips or tokens yet. I am satisfied to be on the path one day at a time, but it would be nice to have a sobriety date like everybody else. Obviously, by alcohol date (11/9/89) is no longer any good, because I became a druggie. Should I wait until I have taken my last sliver of valium before I begin counting days? Do I use the date I stopped using hydro? Do I start after the last dose of ultram? I really don't know. Things were so much simpler the first time around, when I had only one active addiction to quit and did it all at once.
I am not in a hurry. I know that no chip or token can keep me clean and sober; only HP can do that. I have a box full of chips from the 90's, and they did not keep me from using.
Anyway, suggestions from anyone with experience in these matters would be appreciated. I'd like to start counting days, but I don't want to cheat. My life literally depends on it.
Addiction is, indeed, cunning, baffling, powerful---and patient as hell. Thanks for being here.
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
Welcome Hopeful
Thanks for your posting.My story is alot like yours,from alcohol to drugs.Let me ask you, do you have a sponser? Maybe they can best answer your question about your sobriety date.I started my sobriety one the first day of not using mind altering substances. I dont think it is my place to give you advice on when you should start your date,but,I think you already know the answer. Keep posting. Bless,Trish
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Mobile, Alabama
Posts: 27
Thanks for the feedback; it's exactly what I would have said if someone would have asked me. I need a sponsor (again). I need to take the plunge and ask somebody. I rather suspect my sobriety date will have to wait until my valium taper is totally over; otherwise, I'll always have that nagging doubt in the back of my obsessive mind.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Never, Never land
Posts: 2,851
Hopeful,
Recoveree already posted what I was going to say. Just keep going.
Sarie,
If you are prescribed an anti-depressant by a doctor, that you need, and you take it as prescribed, that is different. ANYONE is welcome at ANY meeting at ANY time. I know of many people who stopped taking their anti-depressants (including myself) because some pompous a$$ without a medical degree told them they shouldn't. Unfortunately more than one has committed suicide as a result. I found myself in a world of trouble, and living in hell as a result. Maybe reading the NA pamphlet, "Illness in Recovery" will help. BTW, I am now taking my anti-depressants regularly, and I have been clean for 8 1/2 years.
Recoveree already posted what I was going to say. Just keep going.
Sarie,
If you are prescribed an anti-depressant by a doctor, that you need, and you take it as prescribed, that is different. ANYONE is welcome at ANY meeting at ANY time. I know of many people who stopped taking their anti-depressants (including myself) because some pompous a$$ without a medical degree told them they shouldn't. Unfortunately more than one has committed suicide as a result. I found myself in a world of trouble, and living in hell as a result. Maybe reading the NA pamphlet, "Illness in Recovery" will help. BTW, I am now taking my anti-depressants regularly, and I have been clean for 8 1/2 years.
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