DeathBox

I've read numerous times that when you try to reinvent yourself, your whole (physical/ emotional / spiritual / psychological) being tries its hardest to interrupt your progress and revert to your old ways. I've seen people go down that path, as well as myself, and not just in terms of alcoholism. It seems like making a change is psychologically and emotionally impossible, although physically and 'spiritually' entirely impossible (and this isn't just some kind of eastern-philosophical paradox).

But, god. It's so hard. I might be a weakling, but I don't understand the concept.

How do you guys do it? I've envisioned myself as a muscular, non-drinking guy with an active social life and I just can't seem to get there. I know that it's possible, but I fall off the bandwagon before the train even leaves the station to a better life.

How do you do it? I know there's no secret, but in a nutshell, how do you sustain a change like this? I have a mental block when it comes to this stuff.

And as an epilogue, I've sought professional help many times to no avail whatsoever.

I almost have this odd idea that if one were to become adept in overcoming hurdles like this, one could feasibly make numerous changes and invent themselves as the person they know they could always be, albeit hard work and determination would ensue.

Thanks in advance. I appreciate it.

DeathBox

I would like to follow up this post (as opposed to editing it). I do suffer from a few different forms of mental illness, although there have been numerous books and articles published about people overcoming these hurdles. It can be done, but the missing link is missing for me, and it all has to do with actual CHANGE.

For a follow-up: can anyone recommend me any books on the topic? I'll buy and read whatever I can to educate myself on the topic. If it helped you, I'm open to having it help me.

Thanks again. This community is awesome.

Astro

It's been a long process for me and I'm still evolving after 10 years, change and growth is so important to me. After the initial hurdle of getting and staying sober, and learning to overcome fear and depression, then came diet and exercise, learning to meditate and pray, and developing a "diet" of meetings and fellowship to support my mental well-being.

After 4 years of recovery I stuck my foot back into church and learned what I'd been missing out on most of my life, a loving God who only wants the best for me, even though it may not be an easy road.

I don't have any specific books to recommend. I just happen to have shelves of recovery books from Hazelden and find them all useful in some way. In times of difficulty it's helpful for me to reach for a daily meditation book.

Welcome to SR.

teatreeoil007

I think maybe reinventing yourself involves uncovering who you really authentically are and building from there... This may mean our habitual ways of doing things change too... The 'way we've always done it'... But it also may mean reconnecting ... As pathways are revealed

dox

I have a mental illness.
I have been on psych meds for 35 years.
I will be taking medication for the foreseeable future.

I am an alcoholic, as well.

I was always reinventing myself.
Every 5 years or so, I would try a new job, a new location, a new persona.
Alcohol helped me to reinvent myself.
It helped me to believe my own PR.
It helped me to fantasise.

My use of alcohol necessitated the reinventing of myself.
I was never truly satisfied.
Alcohol had me believing that alcohol itself was the solution to my problems.
With alcohol, I was trying to hold it all together: my fragmented self.

Thank goodness I'm free of all that these days.
Free to be me;
not the me that I wanted to be, but the me that I was meant to be.
Simply me.
Free of pretense .
Freedom from the bondage of self, they call it.

Today, reinventing myself would be a pointless exercise;
like reinventing the wheel.

So, rather than tell you how to reinvent yourself . . .
How can I convince you that the reinvention of yourself is not necessary or advisable?
All I can say here is that it never worked for me.
Only in hindsight, does this become self-evident.

More to the point: how can you stop this cycle of reinvention?
(assuming you are willing to give it a try)

How can you stop drinking alcohol and be comfortable in your own skin?

For me , it was an easy choice.
I had nowhere else to go.
When I was at the jumping-off point, I chose the simple programme of Alcoholics Anonymous.
And that has made all the difference.

Bekindalways

Heya Deathbox, good question and interesting responses.

In getting sober, it does seem like folks reinvent themselves. I'm not alcoholic so can't reinvent myself in that way. Reading what the Alcoholics post, it seems the plans they put together are how they do it. Each plan is a bit different. Also finding support seems key.

I'm a depressive and have found things that help over the decades. Nothing has cured it but I have learned to work with it better. For me the help has come from meds, exercise, acceptance of the condition, other people who accept me, and practicing gratitude. Talk therapy hasn't helped me much although I've tried many times. Other depressives I talk to have different things that help them although exercise and meds seem to be the most common ways to find help.

MIRecovery

I can only speak for myself and it has taken 6 years but here is some of the reinvented MIRecovery that has taken place

I know a ton of sober people through AA and many are friends. We go to dinner, boating, shows, have parties all without an once of alcohol.

My house is dry so the only people that show up are people that alcohol is not a big deal. Over the years I have cultivated those relationships whether they drink or not

I starting working on my spirituality and then that lead me to a church I love and now I am active in the church.

Once I sobered up I gave my employment 100% and some very good things are happening.

I have become honest and people look to me for help and advice. I am active in AA and SR.

God promised to change me so slowly I will not even know it is happening

Reinventing yourself does not happen over night and it is not a destination. If I am not growing I am dying.

Thumpalumpacus

Two words: Unrelenting self-examination.

oldsoul1122

There's the book Reinventing Your Life ...by Young.........(I messaged you)

SoberCAH

For me, I pray real hard, every day.

And I try to work the 12 steps and practice the principles every day.

At some point I just became a different person.

I think that today I would barely recognize my old pitiable self.

CelticZebra

I don't believe in re-invention.
To change means to do things differently, to do different things.
Change is slow and gradual, a life-time, a process.
Finding my true, authentic self, without the masks and the roles is my goal.
Redefining myself, old, unhelpful habits replaced, negative styles of thinking... Let it go.
Growing, changing, learning, being.

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself