Melody7

I posted here a month or so ago for my alcoholism, even though truly drinking is just an wxcuse to say I am an alcoholic to avoid everything else. It gives me something to talk about in my sessions. But yes I may have a problem, I like to have sonething else that is easy to pin point and discuss. I so often have feelings of not wanting to be alive anymore, I cut myself in hope that one day I'll get the guts to press down hard enough. I am depressed an no one I jave talked to can pock on just how bad I am. I enjoy lyingto my psych because they are too stupid to realise how low I am. I am sick of reliving gang tape everyday, I an sick of being the eldest in my family, I am sock of seeing how sad my mum is and how distant my brother is and how much my sister doesn't want me in ber life anymore. My biological dad is a sad sorrow pot head who has lost his whole life and I feel somehow resppnsible because I am the only one whoever seems to think or care about him anymore.
I constantly wosh I was dead, I constantly wosh I could fix everyone, I don't know how to be and I just want to be dark and ended forever.
Please help me or someone talk to me. I'm so ******* lost.

Mags1

Hi melody, sorry you're going through so much.

I'm no expert so cannot begin to know what you're going through, I wanted to say hello and give you a big hug and tell you you're not alone in this. X

Melody7

Thankyou for just taking the time to give me a reply, It makes me feel so good knowing there are people reading and taking the time to respond to me. Better than what I have ever really had. You are a light in my dark

Dee74

Hi Melody - I'm sorry you're so sad.

I know you've said you've seen someone before but you backed away because of the enormity of what surfaced?

I want to assure you that's very common and normal.

If you need help tho, I think the best thing to do is talk things through with a Dr or some kind of counsellor? even a crisis line might help? explain to them you're scared of uncovering stuff - they will have dealt with that before

Here are some numbers:

DirectLine 24-hour, 7-day counselling, information and referral on 1800 888 236.

Salvos Care Line
24 hr counselling- 1300 36 36 22

Lifeline
24 hr counselling. All Issues.
Phone: 13 11 14 (cost of local call from landline)
Lifeline Australia - Home


Crisis Chat - Lifeline
https://www.lifeline.org.au/Find-Hel...es/crisis-chat

This service is available 8pm - midnight 7 days a week
(EST 1 April - 4 October)
(EDT 5 October - 31 March)

If the service appears 'offline' or 'busy', please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Suicide Call Back Service
Phone: 1300 659 467
Seven days a week, 10am - 8.30pm (EST) to speak to Suicide Call back Service counsellors. After hours calls are answered by SuicideLine (VIC) counsellors.
Crisis Support Services

Lyoness

Hi Melody. I just wanted to reach out, too, because I, too, feel a lot of those same feelilngs--depression, suicidal, cutting, loneliness and despair. I know it's hard when you feel that way, hard to reach out but it's good that you did. Maybe you can check out some of the places Dee posted. Or have you thought of trying to find a therapist who could truly help you? I know it can be hard and take time to find a good one, but they are out there.

Also, keep posting here at SR. There are good people here who want to support you. You might try posting in Newcomers forum too as it tends to be more active.

I hope you feel better.

Soberwolf

Thinking of you Melody x

Bekindalways

Welcome Melody although so very sorry for the reason that brings you here.

Many of us here are depressives who struggle everyday. It has taken me decades to figure out tools to help myself. Good for you for finding this site and posting. Keep looking and trying things to figure out what helps. This could be meds, a different counselor, exercise, groups, a hobby anything. Also please keep posting here although no one will have the exact issues you have, there are many wise and caring folks here.

Jecrois2016

I am sad you are so unhappy. I'm glad you posted. Please stick around. Lots of good people who have been where you are at and find strength and hope.
(((hugs))))