chardis

I have a dual diagnosis - a mental health condition. I'm tired of attacking myself / being attacked emotionally from all angles - can anyone give any words of encouragment, comfort, support or kindness? I have tried to help others but i can't transmit what i haven't got because my own house isn't in order. on my step 4. I am trying and just exhausted.

With love

Anna

I completely understand how recovery becomes overwhelming at times and it's okay to just relax a little. And, like you I was my own worst enemy and constantly attacked myself. Have faith that you will be able to break this habit. I found a Gratitude Journal helped immensely. At first it was hard to find a few things to be grateful for each day, but before long you find yourself looking for good things to be able to put in the journal. I also found that I had to break up the day in small chunks at first because if I promised myself I would make only kind comments to me all day, I would fail. Try taking an hour at a time to start and if negative thoughts pop up in your mind, just let them go and get back to thinking of something positive.

If people in your life are attacking you, well, the answer is simple, though not always easy. I had to get rid of a few people in my life who were toxic to me. Make sure you surround yourself with people you love and who love you.

chardis

That's very kind of you to respond Anna, thank you.

It's just me attacking myself, or my psyche / my past which is affecting me in the present.

I'm only in contact with my sponsor, going to my home group and keeping really low because i have mounds of paperwork, step 4 stuff to sort out.
(apart from reaching out for help here)

Opivotal

I'm sending you my love and prayers, chardis.

greens

Sometimes for a fourth step it can help to write our positive attributes also.

I can relate to always feeling exhausted. regardless of how well i am taking care of myself sometimes I feel like I am constantly sick and I am sure it's because of my ptsd. It's just frustrating but there are always good days too, sometimes I just have to wait it out. Hope you feel better

Verte

Hi chardis,

This hug icon has become one of my favorite here on SR because no matter where I see the icon it really does feel like a hug is transmitted. Have a hug. And another hug so long as hugs are OK for you.

When I feel that exhausted by my own self feeling I take steps such as Anna's in order to return to a lighter place of being. One thing that I have learned over my years of emotional and mental wheel grinding is that I have the capacity to burn myself out with not really accomplishing all that much. So, how to slow the wheel grinding in my mind?

Where ever I am standing or sitting, take a deep breath and exhale. Then shrug my shoulders. Look around and shrug my shoulders. Big shrugs and release. The answers to whatever is on my mind do not have to come all at once or even right away. So the shrug is my way of reminding myself of this. Being nice to myself in this moment can be the priority...and this is a great accomplishment for the day.

With an erasable marker I wrote one of my favorite quotes on a long mirror in my bedroom. Something that when read seems to fill my brain with extra breathing space. Maybe you could write this out and tape it to your bathroom mirror:

For I dipped into the future, far as human eye could see,
Saw the vision of the world, and all the wonder that would be.
-Tennyson

My other favorite tactics are just to slow it all down. Take care of basic needs and basic happiness makers for myself. Clean teeth, shower, makeup, good music, fresh sheets, cheese sandwich, good book, taking time for a funny movie, cooking, hot cup of tea. Decompress and stretch out time.

It is great that you are reaching out here on SR, chardis. Hang in there.

teatreeoil007

Hey Chardis--First of all, sending you a big HUG....

Second--Part of my recovery is learning how to deal with regret, forgiving myself, and letting go of "stuff" I've been carrying around inside me for years....some connected to my past adulthood experiences and some of it from childhood.

I thought I had it all under control, know what I mean? A lot of this 'stuff' didn't bother me; didn't get to me. But when depression started showing up and I couldn't deal with it in a healthy way I needed to start exploring WHAT was going on....

You've got to stop attacking yourself! You need to let go of your regret and forgive yourself for whatever needs to be forgiven. You can do it! Be good to yourself. You have my support.

REST! Rest is so very important. Even God took a rest from His work. What makes us humans think we can get by without adequate rest. And by "rest" I'm not only speaking of slumber. But, just giving yourself a break; perhaps a mental break; perhaps an emotional break. Sometimes we just get tired of FEELING so much. It's good to get in touch with our feelings and all, but we may even need a break from being caught up in our feelings.

Do something you enjoy today and that feels good to you.

Step12

It's hard being dual diagnosed. I think we all have our moments just take your medication if on and and only talk to people you trust and don't trust everybody

Dee74

Even just a hug post can help someone

all you need is kindness thoughtfulness and care, and - no matter what else is going on - you always have those in abundance Chardis

chardis

Omg guys, thank you so much!

I'm so thankful to have had so many replies.
It's so kind and thoughtful of you to be attentive and caring; now i want to help other people so much!

I wish i knew how to do it. I wish I could be a little clearer in myself. I have sorted out a little bit more paperwork so my step 4 is coming on!

You're all so kind, thank you so much everyone.

With love,
Chardis

P.s this made me smile, i thought it was cute

"Clean teeth, shower, makeup, good music, fresh sheets, cheese sandwich, good book, taking time for a funny movie, cooking, hot cup of tea. Decompress and stretch out time. "

... The cheese sandwich bit.

Love you all. Thank you for being here, supporting eachother and yourselves.
I love how we're all connected.

chardis

Opivotal

Chardis, the print is beautiful, just like you!

I'm so happy you found us.

chardis

Opi, i'm so thankful to be here.

And thankful to have connections with all of you.

You guys are supportive with my dual-diagnoses, and can't find that understanding and support much with people face to face.

I feel safe with internet friends



Love you all.

Bellamiaa

<3 chardis! Happy Thanksgiving!

Verte

Happy Thanksgiving, Chardis.

Simple smile:



Super smile:



Smiles are a good thing. Now I am smiling as well. Thank you.

Bekindalways

Chardis, I'm a chronic depressive and was reading way too much news (99% bad). This didn't help my condition so I went looking for good news. I found you all. Now you are part of the good news I read everyday. That you just show up helps me. I try to show up for my life whatever it is everyday.

There are the Mother Teresas, Martin Luther Kings, Desmond Tutus and many celebrated heroes in this world. Then there are the folks struggling with alcoholism: they get through the day sometimes minutes at a time, they endure horrible withdrawals, they get back up after innumerable failures, they experience horrible emotions. None of you are going to win nobel peace prizes for what you do but (nothing against Mother T) you all are beyond heroic.

Thank you for coming here. Thank you for the work you are doing on yourself. Thank you for the immense uncelebrated difference this makes in our wounded world.

teatreeoil007

Wow!

Opivotal

How are you, chardis?

chardis

not well, really. ((hug opi))

Opivotal

I'm sorry to hear that, Chardis,

Anything you want to talk about?