Depression is back
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Depression is back
I know it does, as I am not a novice at this, but I am always angry when depression comes back. I am taking my meds, I don't really get all involved in "holiday" stuff or feel it is a big let down, and today was a bright, sunny but cold day... the kind of winter day I like. Dog and I took a long stroll around.
But for the last few days I have been really down. After the walk, I took at nap.. that stretched for 2 hours. Now I feel I have wasted the day.
My "hot rod brain", as a fellow poster calls it, is revving up all the negative, "poor lonely me" thoughts. Nothing interests me.
Weather one more storm I guess. I tend to cycle in depressive phases and I guess with the meds it is at least longer between episodes. These are the days I would drink and indulge in addiction to ease out of reality. It is harder to face straight on, but hopefully worth it.
Thanks for listening.
But for the last few days I have been really down. After the walk, I took at nap.. that stretched for 2 hours. Now I feel I have wasted the day.
My "hot rod brain", as a fellow poster calls it, is revving up all the negative, "poor lonely me" thoughts. Nothing interests me.
Weather one more storm I guess. I tend to cycle in depressive phases and I guess with the meds it is at least longer between episodes. These are the days I would drink and indulge in addiction to ease out of reality. It is harder to face straight on, but hopefully worth it.
Thanks for listening.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Drake 
I have quite the "hot rod" brain myself. I don't sleep properly and at some point we need to decompress and rest.
I wouldn't beat yourself up for napping... evidently your body needed it. Not a waste at all.
Think of it as recharging. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
I have quite the "hot rod" brain myself. I don't sleep properly and at some point we need to decompress and rest. I wouldn't beat yourself up for napping... evidently your body needed it. Not a waste at all.
Think of it as recharging. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
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I have a regular shrink appointment on Jan 21st. If persists I will call. You may be right Opi, I have been on the go all December with the singing stuff. I did not go to church today, I thought to myself I have a ton of overtime built up.
But the you-know-what brain just does not stop.
But the you-know-what brain just does not stop.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,452
Opi has a point too - I like days off but then again too many and I get lost in my own head.
I need to be busy and active, even if it's just housecleaning or something - it makes me feel better.
Like anything balance is key?
D
I need to be busy and active, even if it's just housecleaning or something - it makes me feel better.
Like anything balance is key?
D
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Hi Drake -- I feel for you now, I think I know how it can be. Try to be objective -- there's really no harm in a nap, and no harm in taking a day off to rest, even indulge some "down" feelings -- but if you get persistent negativity that interferes with your ability to do your normal stuff, you should take it seriously. I don't know if you have someone besides your shrink that you can talk to -- I find it really helpful to have a sounding board who helps me tell if my responses are normal or extreme, and helps me recognize that I'm not alone in having low spells.
Whatever happens, don't seek comfort in drink or drugs -- self-medicating really, really just makes mental health issues worse.
Whatever happens, don't seek comfort in drink or drugs -- self-medicating really, really just makes mental health issues worse.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Opivotal 
...I wouldn't beat yourself up for napping... evidently your body needed it. Not a waste at all.
Not always possible during the work week. However, I do try and catch up on any additional rest needed during the weekend.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
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Could be Trach, although the days have been pretty sunny and clear lately. I eventually get around to doing things, but just woke from another lost hour. Glad I can do that on my job and get away with it.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 90
Hi Drake,
Your post made me think of this poem. Hope you enjoy.
THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-- Jelaluddin Rumi,
Your post made me think of this poem. Hope you enjoy.
THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-- Jelaluddin Rumi,
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