kristabell

I was asked yesterday 'how could someone who made us laugh and seemed so happy suffer from depression and then commit suicide?'*
Depression, in all it's forms, doesn't discriminate against our bank accounts, good looks, ability to add humour...the humour can often be a façade for those who are suffering, making their outward appearance the opposite of the turmoil and demons they fight on the inside.*
Suicide is sad, and tragic. That a person feels so in despair, so in pain, that they cannot see anyway out of the black hole that they live...is heart wrenching for those left behind...forever wondering 'what if we had', 'what if we had seen...', what it, what if, what if.
For those haters out there, who have never felt the crippling effects of depression - congratulations, I sincerely hope that you never do. Because it is a disease that affects every, single, aspect of your life. From what and if you eat, to overwhelming and very REAL anxiety, to simple daily tasks like getting out of bed and having a shower.*
These things are real.*
Not being able to get out of bed because of debilitating blackness that shrouds your mind is real. Struggling to go out into a world that moves too fast, that is too noisy, that sets off a panic attack so severe you pass out...that is real.
To look at those around you, those that you have loved your entire life and yet still feel complete blackness, to feel that their love isn't enough to get you through...this is real. These are REAL emotions, feelings and thoughts.
To take your own life, because of the blackness, the demons that haunt you even when you are sleeping, is real.
Sadly, this happens every, single day and will cause a ripple effect in the world that they leave behind, forever damaging those who are left to pick up the pieces of their own life.
Depression is an ILLNESS. We might not be able to see it, smell it or touch it. But those of us who have experienced it, those of us who continue to battle those demons every day and still wake up the next day to do battle again, those of us who have to watch someone close to us struggle, keep going. Keep trying to believe that there will be a light again someday.*
Most importantly, if you feel like you are alone in the world when you are surrounding by people who love you, talk to SOMEONE. Get help. See your GP, a counsellor, ring a help line anonymously. Anything.
Fight the demons. They don't know you, they don't deserve to have you.*
Fight. Because you still can.
Fight. Because people really care.
Fight. Because YOU matter.
Fight.*
Fight.*
Fight.

Live

thank you.

desypete

for my i have to change how i live daily in order to beat my low feelings, i dont see me as depressed i just see it as low feeling
if i give in to that low feeling then i will be in trouble as it will not go away so i have to act and this is the hard part as my head is telling me not to act

my head will tell me to stay indoors and lock the world out, sit on my own and worry about feeling so low

so i simple dont do it
i go out for a walk or i contact a friend, i get to my aa meetings and i try to help people if i can
i do whatever it takes to take me out of me
i even go to the sea front and look out for some tramps and go and talk with them as daft as it sounds it really does make me feel grateful for what i have in my life and removes that sad feeling of what i dont have in my life

its hard work but it has to be done for me and i am only talking about me here

Bamboozle

Excellent post, kristabell.

CodeJob

Thank you Kristabell,

I am quite open on SR that I am on meds for depression. I also go to Al Anon, work the steps and go see a counselor. I am not 100%, but I average between 75%-90%.

Recently I was reading how depression can be diagnosed in preschoolers and I had this awful realization that I was depressed in kindergarten. Never put it together that such a gray year was probably MY MOOD! I was a pint sized depressive. I had no friends. I was incapable of reaching out to others. My memories of that time are all GRAY and like an underwater BLUE.

For me, being honest about it has been the best option.

kyle84

Like you, I feel comfortable in going to the extent of saying that depression is nothing but a living demon that requires us to struggle every single day even though we are not good enough to do that. Social interactions with jolly people or jocund companies may help someone get rid of this demonic feeling.

CodeJob

Well well well, this is intriguing!

First Blood Test to Diagnose Depression in Adults: Northwestern University News