bigsombrero

On Friday I have a flight cross-country. There's some work to be done on this trip, and in the back of my mind the anxiety is kicking in. I can tell this because my habits change drastically when I begin experiencing pre-anxiety symptoms.

1. Monday
- I altered my work schedule and worked unusual hours.
- For dinner I went and got take-out for dinner and ate fried food

2. Tuesday
- I ate steak for dinner and also had ice cream, again high fat foods.
- I had very vivid nightmares and woke up extremely early and had trouble sleeping

So we have changes in work. Changes in sleep. Changes in diet. It's no wonder I'm starting to feel on edge!

The good news: the trip is on Friday. I have a couple of days to regulate. Today I will stick to a vegetarian diet, work my normal hours, stay on task, and go to bed early. Take it easy on the caffeine.

I am glad I can responsibly recognize some of the triggers for my anxiety and start managing them before they become a problem. I hope to report that things will be smooth sailing come Friday!

DylanS

I'm flying out tomorrow for a 5 day visit with family - lots of stress. I, too, am experiencing some changes around anxiety/stress.

Thanks for your post - it reminded me to be aware and ATTEND (as opposed to my automatic response of trying to suppress/ignore).

Jeni26

Sleep and diet are the first signs for me too BigS...plus an inability to concentrate and irritability too.

I ditch the cooking altogether leasing up to a stressful event and live off complete crap..which of course makes me feel worse.

I hope your trip goes well x

bigsombrero

Thanks Jeni, saw you were having some issues as well.

You're completely right - I ditched the cooking and went for take-out Monday, that's extremely rare for me. I don't eat crap food normally, so I wonder why I feel the need to run towards it when I'm stressed. I also stray from routine when anxiety builds and find myself having trouble making decisions. I feel overwhelmed in dealing with what are usually easy tasks. I also have a hard time making firm "yes" or "no" decisions...I just wait on them. Alas, those chickens always come home to roost and it's never a good result.

I will make some firm plans today and take care of some small issues I've been avoiding. I hope that helps. Thanks for the encouragement. I hope you're feeling better as well....

Dee74

I have great confidence in you BigS - I'm sure you handle whatever needs to be done

D

Aellyce

BigS - I relate to a lot of your descriptions about signs of anxiety. I have a lot of that in my life and it can manifest in all sorts of weird ways. I have a very high-strung mind by default...

To manage it, one thing that works for me is a certain level of detachment - both from my own feelings and from the environmental components or events that can trigger or exacerbate it. But not too much detachment because then it turns into dissociation and escape. Just enough to not let the feeling paralyze me or alter my responses to important things too much (well, it still does... but the aim is to regulate it and face the challenge head on).

The other suggestion I have is not to obsess about the symptoms and these momentary, temporary changes in your routine. Eg. if you generally have a healthy diet, there can't be too much wrong with having a little bit of junk occasionally if you feel it helps in the moment. Just don't make it a habit or frequent anxiety management method.

Do you know Eric Maisel's book called Mastering creative anxiety? I recommend it to many people because I think it's excellent and is also a fun read with cool educational stories to illustrate specific problems. It's dealing with work-related anxieties but I think is applicable to many different areas, not only artistic work and not only work...

I also tend to have the disrupted sleep that seems to correlate very well with high anxiety times. Crazy nightmares also. The best way to manage these for me is, again, to face my challenges head on and not procrastinate, not get stuck in being paralyzed by fear and discomfort. It's really tricky at times as you must know, but it is what it is.

Good luck with the trip!

bigsombrero

Thanks Dee buddy, I am glad you're in my corner! Everyone else too; a little support goes a long way. I appreciate the book advice on the book, haennie, I'll check that out for sure. I am very interested in finding a way to quiet my mind when I get into high gear.

Haennie, I also know what you mean by a certain level of detachment. I fondly call this "Robot Mode". Take train to airport. Print boarding pass. Check in. Beep boop borp. Every time I get anxious about traveling (which I do very often) I just have faith that I can achieve Robot Mode and it works like a charm.

I feel much more relaxed here at the end of the day. I took care of a few tasks that I needed to address - small things, but important things. Many small errands that added up to a huge feeling of relief. I feel back on the right track.

Glad you guys are always here, thanks much!

Jeni26

Sometimes I find that changing those bad habits as they happen and replacing them with something different works for me when anxiety hits. Cook a new recipe, go visit someone who makes you laugh, change around the furniture in a room at home. Don't know why that works for me, just a distraction probably, but it does.

Yesterday I was in my fight or flight PTSD mode...which is just the most gut wrenching place to be and I just didn't know what to do with myself. I was supposed to be meeting my boss and doing some work together (I work in a school and it is closed for Easter at the moment). I just couldn't drag myself out of bed for a few hours, so I postponed that, got up and spent the day helping my daughter study for her exams.

I felt safe at home, and I was doing some good, and now I'm calm and back to myself.

I think we're lucky to have other people to talk about this stuff with. Isolating is no good for any of us.

Take good care BigS x

bigsombrero

Thanks Jeni,

Your response sounds in the fight-or-flight stage there sounds like something I'd do as well. You probably knew about the meeting long in advance, and as the days got closer the anxiety got more difficult. At the same time, I'd imagine your preparation and concentration skills deteriorated. It probably built up until the final night before the meeting and maybe that's when you felt like a wreck. For me, this leads to a last minute "bail out" which feels good for a while....then you're usually kicking yourself and feeling regretful that you didn't just take care of it. Looking back it would have been no big deal, and now you are dealing with regret on top of anxiety.

Like you, I also hoped that quitting alcohol would cure me. Alas, it wasn't that simple. My anxiety is certainly BETTER, but getting on my feet the past 20 months hasn't been easy. But I'm gaining confidence, slowly. I have to remember I was unemployed and so broke that I could not afford a hotel and spent the night at the airport baggage claim one night last summer - that was a low point. Today I have a career, income, and security that I have now is a huge sign of progress.

You're right - isolation is a problem. It's too bad though, because isolation is often our only "safe place" when we are in an anxiety storm. We are both friendly, sociable people and it's a shame that we're dealing with this! I see we have roughly the same sobriety date, so any encouragement you have for me is helpful! I think we have to keep on pushing through these challenges and keep searching for something that works.