Tanja/ My Story
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
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Tanja/ My Story
WHAT IT WAS LIKE
At a very early age I felt that I never fit in. I grew up with an angry, abusive father with a violent temper. I spent my formative years hiding in my bedroom from him. My mother and my other 3 sisters weren’t allowed to have opinions if they differed in any way from my father’s. I grew up as a very shy, quiet and fearful child. I experienced a fair amount of bullying growing up. I was introduced to alcohol at the age of 18 and the first beer made me woozy. I soon got over that and alcohol made me feel uninhibited, gave me courage and the personality that I thought I lacked. I began to use alcohol as a coping mechanism for both bad times and good times. By the age of 20, I had amassed a DUI and a drunk in public. I tried AA, but could not relate to the stories of end-stage alcoholics or all the older people. I knew that I was an alcoholic, but didn’t buy into the progression of the disease and thought I could deal with the problem later. My alcoholism stayed pretty constant for 20 years. Periodically, I tried AA sporadically without much effort. By the age of 42, my alcoholism sky-rocketed. The progression that I didn’t believe in took place. For the next decade I faced the sheer horror, bewilderment and agony that only a true alcoholic can know. From drinking in the morning to going on benders that lasted 3-4 days and would take over a week to recover from. I debased and demeaned myself to family, friends and neighbors in a ways that I never thought possible.
WHAT HAPPENED
In July 2011, I was fortunate enough to be offered an early retirement at the age of 51. I knew that I could either drink myself to death or finally come to grips with my alcoholism. I joined Sober Recovery in October 2011. I would manage short stints of sobriety, but ultimately relapse. I realized I needed to avail myself to any and all means available to recover from my alcoholism. I joined AA in March 2012. I had numerous relapses and could not seem to get beyond 30 days sober. I became very ill after some dental surgery. It was very painful and to pick up a drink would have made it more agonizing. This illness enabled me to reach over 60 days of sobriety and realize how much I desperately wanted to stop drinking. When I finally reached four months of sobriety I began to have hope for the future. This was the longest period of time in my life that I had remained sober.
WHAT IT IS LIKE NOW
I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. I am grateful to be sober and never try to lose sight of that fact. I use both SR and AA to never forget where I have been. For anyone that is suffering from the devastating effects of alcoholism please don’t ever give up. I pray that my story gives hope and inspiration that after 34 years of drinking that recovery is possible.
At a very early age I felt that I never fit in. I grew up with an angry, abusive father with a violent temper. I spent my formative years hiding in my bedroom from him. My mother and my other 3 sisters weren’t allowed to have opinions if they differed in any way from my father’s. I grew up as a very shy, quiet and fearful child. I experienced a fair amount of bullying growing up. I was introduced to alcohol at the age of 18 and the first beer made me woozy. I soon got over that and alcohol made me feel uninhibited, gave me courage and the personality that I thought I lacked. I began to use alcohol as a coping mechanism for both bad times and good times. By the age of 20, I had amassed a DUI and a drunk in public. I tried AA, but could not relate to the stories of end-stage alcoholics or all the older people. I knew that I was an alcoholic, but didn’t buy into the progression of the disease and thought I could deal with the problem later. My alcoholism stayed pretty constant for 20 years. Periodically, I tried AA sporadically without much effort. By the age of 42, my alcoholism sky-rocketed. The progression that I didn’t believe in took place. For the next decade I faced the sheer horror, bewilderment and agony that only a true alcoholic can know. From drinking in the morning to going on benders that lasted 3-4 days and would take over a week to recover from. I debased and demeaned myself to family, friends and neighbors in a ways that I never thought possible.
WHAT HAPPENED
In July 2011, I was fortunate enough to be offered an early retirement at the age of 51. I knew that I could either drink myself to death or finally come to grips with my alcoholism. I joined Sober Recovery in October 2011. I would manage short stints of sobriety, but ultimately relapse. I realized I needed to avail myself to any and all means available to recover from my alcoholism. I joined AA in March 2012. I had numerous relapses and could not seem to get beyond 30 days sober. I became very ill after some dental surgery. It was very painful and to pick up a drink would have made it more agonizing. This illness enabled me to reach over 60 days of sobriety and realize how much I desperately wanted to stop drinking. When I finally reached four months of sobriety I began to have hope for the future. This was the longest period of time in my life that I had remained sober.
WHAT IT IS LIKE NOW
I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. I am grateful to be sober and never try to lose sight of that fact. I use both SR and AA to never forget where I have been. For anyone that is suffering from the devastating effects of alcoholism please don’t ever give up. I pray that my story gives hope and inspiration that after 34 years of drinking that recovery is possible.
Last edited by Opivotal; 03-09-2017 at 11:17 AM. Reason: correct title format
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