If I can't remember their names?
Faith and reason
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 941
If I can't remember their names?
I've started working step 4 with my step sponsor. I'm currently listing my resentments and their causes. I can't remember some of the names of some of the people. I've included one on the list, because my resentment towards them was such a big part of my life and my drinking at the time.
For the rest though, my resentments are more run-of-the-mill, petty things that I resent a lot of people for. Does the fact that I can't remember these people's names mean I don't really have that much of a resentment towards them and don't have to put them down? If I've forgotten their name, do I really resent them anymore at all?
For the rest though, my resentments are more run-of-the-mill, petty things that I resent a lot of people for. Does the fact that I can't remember these people's names mean I don't really have that much of a resentment towards them and don't have to put them down? If I've forgotten their name, do I really resent them anymore at all?
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
If in doubt I would put them down and discuss it with your sponsor. I had a few on my list in which I couldn't remember their name. If they make it to your harms list for step 8 then you and your sponsor can decide what to do about it at that point. I have one "no name" on my 8th step list; I just have to be willing to make amends to them if God gives me the opportunity, or eventually make indirect amends at some point. I had two "no names" but I did some serious googling and found the name of one of them.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Huntington Woods, Michigan
Posts: 465
Originally Posted by Louise82 
I've started working step 4 with my step sponsor. I'm currently listing my resentments and their causes. I can't remember some of the names of some of the people. I've included one on the list, because my resentment towards them was such a big part of my life and my drinking at the time.
For the rest though, my resentments are more run-of-the-mill, petty things that I resent a lot of people for. Does the fact that I can't remember these people's names mean I don't really have that much of a resentment towards them and don't have to put them down? If I've forgotten their name, do I really resent them anymore at all?
For the rest though, my resentments are more run-of-the-mill, petty things that I resent a lot of people for. Does the fact that I can't remember these people's names mean I don't really have that much of a resentment towards them and don't have to put them down? If I've forgotten their name, do I really resent them anymore at all?
Faith and reason
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 941
Great, thanks for your replies. I'll put them down and discuss it with my sponsor.
Thanks for mentioning principles and institutions, UM. I only have one institution on my list so far but I'll be mindful of putting down any more that come to mind as I continue writing the list.
everyone!
Thanks for mentioning principles and institutions, UM. I only have one institution on my list so far but I'll be mindful of putting down any more that come to mind as I continue writing the list.
everyone!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 765
Put them down on your list.
Some of the names will come later but it's not about their names, it's about you
This is YOUR 4th step. You're looking to see who you became and why.
"The guy in the parking garage on Main St"
"Girl in Hampton Tuesday night mtg, white teeth"
"Guy at Sears vacuum dept"
You and God know who you mean and that's what matters.
Some of the names will come later but it's not about their names, it's about you
This is YOUR 4th step. You're looking to see who you became and why.
"The guy in the parking garage on Main St"
"Girl in Hampton Tuesday night mtg, white teeth"
"Guy at Sears vacuum dept"
You and God know who you mean and that's what matters.
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