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Step 5...Done!

Old 11-20-2012, 12:42 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 23
Step 5...Done!

I had been working on my step 4 for around a month when the chance to complete step 5 with my sponsor came last night. I drove over there with a huge wad of paper filled my resentments, fears, harms done to others and a sexual inventory.

I was literally carrying everything that was toxic in my soul around with me in my backpack. Some of the stuff in there I have been convinced that I would carry it to the grave. I was so nervous but I had got to the point where I was so aware of it all it was weighing me down more than ever.

Fast forward 3 hours and all of it had come out and what a relief. I think I was expecting some kind of spiritual thunderbolt but it never came. Instead suddenly all of the anxiety, fear, anger and feeling of resentment and shame was gone. I cannot describe it. I drove home in stunned silence taking an hour to myself going over what had happened.

I prayed and went to sleep.

This morning I woke up and the sense of peace I felt and have felt all day is better than any drug or drink has ever given me. I feel very tired and it's almost like I am on an adrenalin comedown from all the years of anxiety, fear and worry that I have put myself through. It's nice, kind of like the feeling after rigorous exercise is the only way I can explain it.

I feel that this step is going to be fundamental to my recovery and I am so happy that I have got to this point. I was fearless in what I shared and didn't hold anything back no matter how embarrassing I thought it might be I just spilled it. My sponsor was amazing throughout and left me with a little list of my defects that I can pray for god to remove when they arise.

For those that are paining over this step or even getting involved in the steps, just do it. It's a program of action and if it can release me from the bondage of myself then it can free anybody.

Now to keep going...God bless.
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