How do I make friends now that I am sober?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: San Francisco CA
Posts: 1
How do I make friends now that I am sober?
Hello...
I have been sober for a year and a half now. Due to my severe isolation while using I have no friends. I use to have a great social life and I want that back. Need someone to talk and hang with before I go crazy. I got a dog and it helped tremendously, but I need more.
Given that I don't go to AA/NA meetings... How can I make friends? Does anyone know of any good sites to meet people? Any suggestions on how I can rebuild my social life would be greatly appreciated.
(I am a 43 year old male living in San Francisco) So hard making friends at my age...Right?
Thanks for taking the time to read my post.
C.
I have been sober for a year and a half now. Due to my severe isolation while using I have no friends. I use to have a great social life and I want that back. Need someone to talk and hang with before I go crazy. I got a dog and it helped tremendously, but I need more.
Given that I don't go to AA/NA meetings... How can I make friends? Does anyone know of any good sites to meet people? Any suggestions on how I can rebuild my social life would be greatly appreciated.
(I am a 43 year old male living in San Francisco) So hard making friends at my age...Right?
Thanks for taking the time to read my post.
C.
Last edited by zephercan; 05-16-2012 at 01:41 PM. Reason: forgot something
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North America
Posts: 1,628
Man I found a real hot chick willing to be a penpal, she wants friendship and maybe something more, and I know for a fact that she won't cheat on me until at least 2023 (thats when she's up for parole).
ar ar ar
I'm a real fan of filling some of my social needs via the workplace; in terms of a safe, predictable, and structured environment that thereby reduces social anxity, it can be great. Of course *professional* roles aren't conducive (man my spelling sucks) to socializing, but if you get a part time job where younger folks hang that might be cool.
You can also volunteer, seek some activities through a church based network, join professional associations and go to meetings and the like, join a group like toastmasters, etc.
The thing to remember is a word called propinquity. It has to do with scheduled proximiaty to other folks, on a stable basis, ya know? So be it walking the dog in the same park at the same time, or going to the same gym on a schedule, you are more likely to meet folks and create a deeper relationship.
Don't get me wrong--i'm no pro at such a thing. In fact I tend to suck at it, but I really tend not to care a whole lot. I have a feeling once I get my liscence back and continue to rebuild my life I will become more concerned, and at that point I'll be taking my own textbook advice~~~
hang in there Zepher~~!
ar ar ar
I'm a real fan of filling some of my social needs via the workplace; in terms of a safe, predictable, and structured environment that thereby reduces social anxity, it can be great. Of course *professional* roles aren't conducive (man my spelling sucks) to socializing, but if you get a part time job where younger folks hang that might be cool.
You can also volunteer, seek some activities through a church based network, join professional associations and go to meetings and the like, join a group like toastmasters, etc.
The thing to remember is a word called propinquity. It has to do with scheduled proximiaty to other folks, on a stable basis, ya know? So be it walking the dog in the same park at the same time, or going to the same gym on a schedule, you are more likely to meet folks and create a deeper relationship.
Don't get me wrong--i'm no pro at such a thing. In fact I tend to suck at it, but I really tend not to care a whole lot. I have a feeling once I get my liscence back and continue to rebuild my life I will become more concerned, and at that point I'll be taking my own textbook advice~~~
hang in there Zepher~~!
Let go and Let God!
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 352
That was the hardest part for me. I was young when I got into recovery and I went to AA/NA. I thought I needed to find friends my age. I was wrong. I don't have very many friends my age or younger. Almost all are older.
I get my friends from AA/NA. I also have friends at my work place. Do you have any hobbies? Sometimes you can find a club that goes with your hobby. I was completely amazed how many people didn't drink or use drugs. I thought everyone did, when I was using!!
Good luck. You will find what you are meant to find!
I get my friends from AA/NA. I also have friends at my work place. Do you have any hobbies? Sometimes you can find a club that goes with your hobby. I was completely amazed how many people didn't drink or use drugs. I thought everyone did, when I was using!!
Good luck. You will find what you are meant to find!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I did volunteer work for the Red Cross I took classes in subjects that
interested me....however mostly I use AA for supportive friendships....
Why not check into the Humane Society in SF as you are a dog owner?
Extra hands are always appreciated and you have a base for conversation
Well done on your recovery time....Welcome to SR....
interested me....however mostly I use AA for supportive friendships....
Why not check into the Humane Society in SF as you are a dog owner?
Extra hands are always appreciated and you have a base for conversation
Well done on your recovery time....Welcome to SR....
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