missy812

I took two weeks off of work to detox on my own (outpatient, Dr. assisted, and I used the Thomas Recipe.) I tried to return to work today, but I just couldn't do it. My anxiety is through the roof. I felt better last week then I do this? WTH? Could be work/stress related, but I plan on taking another week or two off through LOA, although that is tough for me to do. I just can't imagine myself feeling like this and being in an office.
I don't have too much of a problem falling asleep. But I wake up at 4am daily with a HUGE amount of anxiety. At this point, I take a Xanax. I don't want to switch out one drug for another, but I need it, usually just in morning. Sometimes I take half if it gets bad throughout the day.
I am still taking the L-Tyrosine to help with the malaise… this is part of the Thomas recipe. Could this be making my anxiety worse?
Last week I was forcing myself to go to the gym, but this week I can't get out of bed. Or I don't want to. I feel so depressed. My body feels heavy. I feel like CRAP and I literally don’t know what the f to do with myself.
I have been clean before, but this is the first time I have had NO desire to use again. besides my PAIN! I feel my body can’t deal with regular aches and pains anymore… ugh… what did I do to myself?
I'd also like to add - how long until I feel normal? I was on over 300 MG of short actings, pure oxycodone daily. It makes me sick how bad I got. This was progressive over the past 2 years.
Now I have given myself anxiety.

Dee74

Hi Missy
I have no experience to share but I wanted to welcome you

You'll find a lot of support here

D

missy812

I also wanted to add that the yawning and watery eyes is driving me nuts! Day 15, shouldn't that be subsiding??? Any ideas of how to help this? I HATE IT!

TigerLili

It's going to take a lot longer than 15 days to start feeling ok. If you can take more time off work, I wuold do that. Have small goals of buying healthy food and eating regular meals, go for little walks in the fresh air. Don't try and do too much. Your body needs rest and sleep and good nutrition to repair itself. Some people can't work for weeks, months, or years after beginning recoveyr. It's a very complex process for the body, emotions and mind.

Just one thought with the waking at night with anxiety is that it could be related to sleep apnea or other types of breathing difficulties - I would talk to your doctor about that. I used to frequently wake with panic attacks for that reason. Def a question for your doctor. I would really take all these questions to your doctor.

My first time round in recovery I think it took me about six months to regain my energy, health and zest for life. I recovered through AA and found going to the meetings helped, I made friends who supported me and validated how I was feeling. Quitting using is painful in so many ways. It's a tough road which is why so many don't make it, but it does get easier and in time you'll feel like a million bucks.

SoberMan2012

Missy, you are amazing for staying sober for 15 days. It is a miracle. I have been sober 83 days and I am still not working, I spend all day every day healing. Hang in there, as I write this I pray for you. May you be sober, happy and at ease. Also look for anything at all you can find to be grateful for. Gratitude is a key ingrediant to the sober life.

missy812

I get so impatient, but I swear I felt better last week. I was going to the gym, and doing sauna/hot tub therapy for my pain.. and I didn't have the thought of going back to work soon, which is a very overwhelming feeling. Now I feel like I have taken steps back; my pain is bad, I can't fall asleep, and I am depressed. I do need to remember 15 days is not very long, especially when you compare it to the 2-3 years I was using heavily. Thank you both for your responses.

I'm definitily taking 2 more weeks off of work. I feel guilty, but I must do this for myself, and my family. In the long run, it will be better for my work.

Can't wait to feel normal.

lookin4peace

Missy. I felt about the same as you at 15 days. I wanted to feel normal again so badly! Don't give up, Sweetie, it will happen if you stay tough and take care of yourself. Eat good foods, and stay away from caffiene products. They seemed to make me feel bad again.
I was really starting to wonder if I would EVER feel normal again....and What did I do to myself!! I do not work thank goodness cause I would have never been able to go to a job the way I felt. I was very depressed too. I would cry to my husband alot.
You will feel good again....it was a gradual thing the funk(fatigue) leaving. I would feel better one day then the next it would be back and I felt like crap again.....but it will lessen and go away. The depression for me went away too.....I never took anything cause I heard the withdrawal from the Xanax and drugs like it was even worse than pain pills so I stayed away from that too.
It is hard but have patience and you will get your life back soon. You are half way there. I will keep you in my prayers.

lookin4peace

Forgot to tell you....I had a hard time going to sleep because of my pain in my back which is my original problem....I take motrin or tylenol and it helps alot......I was surprised but it helps. Eat oatmeal before you go to bed...and they say strawberries has melatonin in them...bananas has something in them that helps us to relax......heard this all recently on Dr Oz. I also got the Sleepy Time Tea Extra and it helps relax me so I can go to sleep. I am sleeping much better now than I was at your point of w/d....it will come soon.

missy812

I also don't want to take any more pills so I am not refilling my Xanax. I will finish what I have now, especially for the morning anxiety. How long have you been clean lookin4peace?
I do take Potasium and Meletonin. I can't sleep or get comfortable.... yet. But I know it will take time to get back to normal. I have at least one more week off work.
Thank you for your response.

lookin4peace

Missy, I am 40 days free of Hydro's today. You can read my journey and get an idea of how things progressed for me.....my topic is called "Want off Hydrocodone". Sleeping was a problem for me too. The past two weeks my sleeping patterns have started to be consistant....I go to bed at the same time or there about and wake up at 9:00 like clock work now. I take tylenol for my back pain at night and use Bengay because my lower back hurts when I lay in bed....the Bengay helps. Better than being dependant on the Hydrocodone...and it was not working very well the last few months anyway. Had to take 3 hydros to be able to sleep thru the night....1 when I went to bed...then would wake up 5 hours later and take another and sometimes another around 7:00 am. Glad I stopped this and is weird that plain tylenol is doing the job.....now see that my pain can be controled another way. And I only take one extra strength tylenol not 2 as the bottle prescribes for adults.
I hope you start feeling better soon. Just hang in there and you will finish this journey and put all this behind you.