KelleyF

Insight needed….*

Quick recap. My BF had 8 months off cocaine; then he had a one night binge right before xmas with an OD. His dad whom he hadn’t spoken to for about 18 months; who lives in another state was called to the hospital. Since all this happened his dad has been an active part of his life again. Many visits here and lots of phone calls.*

So next weekend marks the end of 3 months since the OD. BF had made several agreements with his dad and they all expire at that time and his dad is coming back here on Friday. There are a couple of big things in this. One is that he has been taking blood tests 2x week since the OD. No reason except to please his dad and give him peace of mind. BF feels like he owes him this. There is no legal troubles or other reason for taking the test. He is really tired of the blood test and I don’t blame him; they are intrusive. He has it done just at the family docs office; but still it is a lot to subject yourself to.*

So we have talked about this; how he is going to handle it going forward. He asked me if it would make me feel better to have him continue this. So I told him honestly what I felt; That at first it did make me feel better; because right after the OD I was completely shaken. Like Id been through a storm; drugs had never been part of my life with him and I was just scared. But now, I don’t need it; and it makes me feel sad that he has to have it done. But this still leaves his dad to contend with…..BF is certain that he is going to want him to continue testing, and he is torn about what to do.*

So BF talked to the family Dr about it, and he seemed to agree with BF that enough was enough; but also said that he could do a hair follicle test which covers up to 3 months if he really felt the need to continue, and this would be less of a burden. It has only been 3 months since he last used; so the Dr suggested they try a test and see if anything showed up; knowing that he has had negative blood tests all along. So it came back and it did show some small level as being present. But the Dr. told him that it could be considered baseline and that future test should have that marker go down and disappear. He is not an expert in this type of testing though; but he did talk to the lab about it I guess. They said above the normal testing they use; they can do more in depth if necessary. We were wondering; what if it doesn’t absorb into the hair equally? What if the next sample had a slightly higher trace amount just because of the selection of hair? The Dr. said that it wouldn’t matter; that if you were to actively use then the marker would go way up and it would be obvious – not to worry about the rest. I guess that makes sense.*

Does anyone have any experience in this type of thing?*

BF is thinking that his dad will not be satisfied with every three months anyway; so he is thinking about once a month.*

I told him he is going to end up bald; or like that hair growth commercial for men…. Little tufts remaining.

Marcus

Blood tests twice a week? Sounds expensive. Is his dad covering the costs? Personally sounds a bit over the top to me. If it were a job that he loved and he was doing it as a good faith gesture it might be a little different, but a father who finally decided to show some concern after 18 months because of an OD not so much.

I have never had a hair test, but my cousin had to do them occasionally because he worked for the Electrical Union. It didn't sound like they required much hair and what the doctor said about the baseline sounds correct. The levels would be pretty equal and if he did use they would shoot way up. The treatment centers I have been at usually did urine screening for THC (since that stays in your system quite a long time). As long as levels were going down you were okay, but I have heard of levels going up a little without actual use. Pee tests are the easiest to fake, but as long as you actually watch them pee (I know obtrusive) that cuts out most of the fool proof ways (fake pee/someone elses).

In the end it is up to your boyfriend. Sometimes feeling like you have someone hanging over your shoulder constantly actually hinders recovery (for others it helps). I did the drug test thing for my wife for a while. She realized it was not her job and usually when I used it was pretty obvious (similar to your boyfriend it sounds like). He has got to want it and it sounds like he does. If I were him I would have a talk with my dad. If his dad wants to quit talking to him because of it that is his problem.

PaperDolls

It sounds like an issue for your BF to work out with his Dad on his own. Nothing for you to do.

KelleyF

((Marcus))

Thank you . I was hoping to find someone that had some experience with the actual test. The whole thing about the baseline does make sense, but then after reading on the internet; confusion sets in.

I think the blood test have been rather expensive. I dont know who has been paying them, I never asked about that.

BF doesnt like taking them but he has honored his promise to his dad and Im proud of him for that. He says it is more of a bad reminder tha anything else and he is ready for it to be over. But I can see for some people it could be a positive thing to have those test come back clean.


He actually used to work for his dad; and finally when things got bad enough - his dad confronted him and told him he had to get some help - meaning rehab - or leave. So BF left. His dad didnt even know where he was until he landed in the hospital 18 months later. Long story short.... we found out the OD was most likely caused by an infection that he had in his heart, and when he went to hospital his heart kept stopping... so they basically said that they werent sure he was going to make it. Then me and BF best friend decided to call his dad. That was fun... not.

Anyway, he does want to go back to work for his dads firm one day. And he knows he wont be able to do that until he regains his dads trust; so that is part of the issue here. Why he is willing to jump through all these hoops...

Stopdropburn

I think the hair follicle test is a good idea. Giving blood twice a week, while I understand what it's about, is excessive, especially if he's really trying (and I have a suspicion he really is ). Maybe Dad could go with him to the doctors and have the doctor explain it directly to him and why he also thinks it's a good idea. Coming directly from BF, Dad might be suspicious of the wait-time between tests. But the fact is a LOT of companies go by hair follicle tests for drugs now, versus urine and blood. It's accurate and a lot less trouble for everyone involved. I think this should be a serious talk between you guys - and only because I know your background do I agree that it is something you should be a part of - I think Dad would completely respect and understand this....you have been through and handled a lot in your specific situation, thankfully for BF. Good luck!!

PaperDolls

What sort of experience are you looking for with the "actual test"? I'm not sure what the question is.

KelleyF

((PaperDolls))

Well BF has already decided that he will do more testing if that is what his dad wants. But he is tired of having blood tests done... which I get... I dont blame him.

So the Dr suggested maybe the hair follicle test like I explained, and they did a test of it. BF had read online, and I did also... that there is some debate over the accuracy, and how cocaine travels up the hair follicles etc.

So I just thought maybe someone here had been involved in taking the actual test. If they ever had issues with it being reliable, or had its valididty questioned.
Just that type of thing. No point doing it, if his dad is going to decide its not valid.


((StopDropBurn))

Thank you Luv. I think that is a great idea and I will mention to BF that he might want to have the Dr explain the process to his dad. If your not versed in all the drug testing options it is confusing. The main concern was that the test not be questioned; positive or negative... doesnt matter ... just that it be valid.

Of course ... dont want him to have so much hair cut and sampled he goes bald...
Wont leave him for drugs, but I can only take so much ..... HAHAHAHA

PaperDolls

I only have experience with other types of testing. Not the hair follicle test. I do know that there is a margin for error in all types of testing. If BF is staying clean he has nothing to worry about.

If BF has already decided he will do more testing this seems like a non-issue.
I know you had another thread about this as well. Are you hearing something different in this one?

KelleyF

((PaperDolls))

I posted on friends and family first; but they dont have any experience with this testing; so I thought someone over here might. One person over there did tell me it was controversial and pointed me to some websites.

I wanted practical experiece or knowledge basically.

Well some web-sites say it can give false positives too. That would be a real bummer if you were clean wouldnt it?

PaperDolls

Gottcha.

And yes, it is possible to get false-positives......just like a pregnancy test or any other type of medical testing. I've seen it happen.

As a family member of an alcoholic and an alcoholic myself the difference you see in the addict, more healthy, responsible, sane, etc, are what count in the long run.

At some point, BFs dad will have to let this go in my opinion. I don't quite understand why BF feels like he has to do this.....BF is an adult supporting himself......either way, it's something you need to let go of and let him deal with.

Stopdropburn

@Kelley He won't go bald It's just a hair or a few....they would have grown back in triple by the next test anyway.....unless balding happens easily in his family....of course some girls like bald guys You guys will figure it out. Take care!

KelleyF

StopDrop,

Your hilarious.... With the baldness !! His dad seems to have a full head of hair. But maybe when he shows up Friday I'll give it a tug- maybe it's a fake!

Then he will require me to be tested.... Hahahaha