Stopdropburn

I started today as positively as I could muster, but I felt awful. Throughout the day it just kept getting worse and worse. My body started aching terribly, getting stomach cramps - which I never got before, headaches, worse chills and the WORST cravings yet....now to top it off I started coughing and feel like I flat out have the flu. I wonder if I got sick as a result of my immunity being low, or lower, as I already have a low immune system from my severe asthma. If I am sick it's making it feel like I'm moving backwards, not forwards. I have my son's for the weekend now, I've hardly slept in a week and I'm exhausted!! I want to scream....but my throat couldn't handle it. *sigh* Ok....I think I'm done crying....I had no one to whine to and my anxiety tonight is through the roof. I started my vitamins today, I didn't expect to feel worse. Hot, HOT bath tonight after "bedtime".

Dee74

I'm sorry you're feeling unwell.

A lot of us find we get sick after we quit - it's just another manifestion and repercussion of the rough treatment we used to put ourselves through.

I think it's a sign you're moving forwards not backwards - you won't always feel sick - give it a few days

D

Stopdropburn

@Dee I know you're right, I just feel so crappy that I don't want to admit I need to go through this now. I am still clean though, and almost to Day 8. I'm still going to get up tomorrow, make breakfast for my boys and take my vitamins. Just hope I feel at least a little better tomorrow. Thank you.

Dee74

no worries.
I hope you'll feel better tomorrow too

D

KelleyF

Stopdropburn,

You sound like a very excellent dad.

Stay Strong. Day 8 just hours away!

finaltime

Getting sick through withdrawal is very common!! Just know if you don't use again you will never have to feel this way again! Stay strong it gets better.

Stopdropburn

@KelleyF Thank you. I try to be always. One of the biggest reasons I want to get healthy and clean...they keep getting bigger and stronger and I keep getting weaker and lazier, I can't have that anymore.

@icandoit I know! I keep trying to remind myself that I'm in a healing phase and they are usually painful, and if I had the flu I would only feel marginally different anyway. So just going to have to endure one day at a time. But man does time seem to have drastically slowed, just creeeeeping by everyday....it's rough now, but when I'm healed I know I will enjoy feeling like I have more time in each day. Thanks.

Stride34

You'll heal, don't worry man. Just takes time. Keep doing what you're doing.

IvanKatz

Stopdropburn, while recovery tends to be linear, it's not always the case. You will go through days like this - yes I know it sucks but that's the way it is. Also keep in mind, go back to the time when you didn't use. You didn't feel great every day did you? You're human, you go through cycles.
I know this is especially hard right now and it doesn't help with the fact your brain's rewards is completely screwed up.
I think that's the biggest factor of all... Reward center screwed up! Your Opiate addiction has wrecked your brain. Now that your just beginning to be clean, your brain is creaming at you for something to make it feel good! You feel bad for a day and your brain goes berserk - which makes things worse. You're only at day 7... You still have a nother week or two before your brain even starts to make it's own chemicals again. Then you have another couple of months until your brain gets back to where it needs to be to feel "normal". I will tell you from experience that if you want to accelerate the process, you have to start exercising soon. Believe me when I say that exercise is the last thing on your mind right now due to the physical pains and lethargy. THis is something you have to FORCE yourself to do! I started an exercise program over a month ago and I was shocked at how well I was doing by week 2. I will say, in full disclosure I had an injury that put me out for a week after week 3 of exercise and then I had the dreaded stomach flu... : (
Well, I'm back the exercise now at day two. Yesterday I was only able to do 20 minutes but today I was able to do 40... So, recovery is somewhat linear but exercise increases the bell curve. It's a well know fact that working out forces your brain to make endorphins and other feel good stuff. You're also forcing your brain to relearn "reward". You workout, you feel better (after the first week or two)...
My first week of exercise SUCKED! But week two wasn't so bad. By week three I WANTED to go.
THe biggest thing I can emphasize is
1. You need to get up and move!
2. Don't worry about how you feel every moment.
3. Eat nutritious food.
4. Get good sleep whenever you can.
5. Laugh, Cry, Yell, going through the emotion helps the healing!

You can do this!

KelleyF

Go through it once StopDropBurn and then it can be done with.

likehappiness

Hopefully you have a better day tomorrow. The next time you see your kids they will notice and wow dad looks a lot better. And you know you will feel better. Work through it....I know you can....if a 46 year old, out of shape woman can do it...so can you! Stay tough!

Stopdropburn

Thanks everyone. It's been a rough couple days....cravings are bad throughout the day and completely lethargic and drained despite my steady vitamin intake...guessing I have a lot of making up to do. I know I'm sick because of the w/d, feels very flu-like, and that is making the w/d worse.....I actually laughed thinking about the Catch 22, what else can I do? It sucks, but the bulk of Day 8 is complete, though after another 2 hour night of sleep last night, I'm guessing that will be the same tonight, maybe I'll get lucky Pushing through with everyones support. Wide awake in the wee hours of yesterday morning I found solace in the Phoenix metaphor instead of being angry at not sleeping...holding on strong to it. Thanks again everyone.