A sober trip to Walgreens sucks
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: TX
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A sober trip to Walgreens sucks
Well, I just returned from running an errand at Walgreens, totally sober, and wow, it just wasn't the same experience as when I was on opies. It used to be a wonderland to me: everything was interesting, I could look at lipsticks for hours, I would talk myself into and out of every "As Seen on TV" item they carried, it used to be so much fun!
But tonight it was just another chore, another thing to get done. I hope I get some spark back into my life before too long. Feeling this *blah* sorta sucks. Plus, I've been MIA in my own life and my responsibilities for so long, I don't really know WHAT I'm supposed to be doing with my time. I know housecleaning is a given, but how depressing is that? Am I supposed to just be an automaton, cooking, cleaning, spending my life in servitude as penance for all the years I was a selfish b****?
Can't help but wonder...
But tonight it was just another chore, another thing to get done. I hope I get some spark back into my life before too long. Feeling this *blah* sorta sucks. Plus, I've been MIA in my own life and my responsibilities for so long, I don't really know WHAT I'm supposed to be doing with my time. I know housecleaning is a given, but how depressing is that? Am I supposed to just be an automaton, cooking, cleaning, spending my life in servitude as penance for all the years I was a selfish b****?
Can't help but wonder...
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,913
How long have you been sober, newattitude? What are you doing for recovery other than not using? I know no one likes to hear it, but things will get better in time. It takes time. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do things that you could enjoy if you would just make yourself do them.
I love Walgreen's. I can spend more money in a Walgreen's than I can at three malls. I go at least twice a week.
I love Walgreen's. I can spend more money in a Walgreen's than I can at three malls. I go at least twice a week.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
I remember my first sober experience at the store. GAH It was like I was in a new world. It took me a few more times to get back into the swing of things. You'll find your way NewAttitude. Hang in there..it really does get better. 
Best Wishes To You!
Best Wishes To You!
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 448
Hi NewA: We don't have Walgreen's here so I can honestly say I've never been in one. I do however HATE to shop, anywhere, anytime for anything! Well, I can handle groceries (but only if I'm hungry)
I remember the Blah feeling very well. I had it for what felt like forever at the time. I quit c/t oxy on June 6 and the first time I actually did something I had fun doing was the middle of August - and then I had to have a 2 hour nap!
I basically just got by doing only what I had to. Sounds so boring now but at the time I didn't have the energy to care. I watched a lot of TV and napped a lot. Mostly I remember being SO tired and worn out feeling most of the time. At least you're doing housework and cooking meals - I never did that for about 2-3 months.
The following summer (one year clean) is when my life really took off. I felt so good, all my natural endorphines were back. That summer I laughed more than I had for years, I water skiied, I para-sailed, I went up in my nephews plane and did a barrell roll and flew upside down! (I about died, but I did it!) I went Geo-caching and just one thing after another seemed to pop up that I had a desire to do. I wasn't isolating myself anymore and instead was enjoying people.
I did all this late in life, I have a 34 year old that I had at 16, you do the math! Yikes! The last 2 years have been the best ever. I have been clean for 2 years and 7 months and the Blah's were well worth it in the long run!!
Keep it up, do can do it, after all is said and done you'll look ahead with happiness for what's to come and behind with gratefullness for what you got out of. ( I hope that makes sense, I'm not quite sure how to word that last sentence)
Take Care...Ruby...
I remember the Blah feeling very well. I had it for what felt like forever at the time. I quit c/t oxy on June 6 and the first time I actually did something I had fun doing was the middle of August - and then I had to have a 2 hour nap!
I basically just got by doing only what I had to. Sounds so boring now but at the time I didn't have the energy to care. I watched a lot of TV and napped a lot. Mostly I remember being SO tired and worn out feeling most of the time. At least you're doing housework and cooking meals - I never did that for about 2-3 months.
The following summer (one year clean) is when my life really took off. I felt so good, all my natural endorphines were back. That summer I laughed more than I had for years, I water skiied, I para-sailed, I went up in my nephews plane and did a barrell roll and flew upside down! (I about died, but I did it!) I went Geo-caching and just one thing after another seemed to pop up that I had a desire to do. I wasn't isolating myself anymore and instead was enjoying people.
I did all this late in life, I have a 34 year old that I had at 16, you do the math! Yikes! The last 2 years have been the best ever. I have been clean for 2 years and 7 months and the Blah's were well worth it in the long run!!
Keep it up, do can do it, after all is said and done you'll look ahead with happiness for what's to come and behind with gratefullness for what you got out of. ( I hope that makes sense, I'm not quite sure how to word that last sentence)
Take Care...Ruby...
Last edited by RubyRose; 01-19-2012 at 07:35 PM. Reason: spelled Walgreens wrong - stupid stores
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 242
It still surprises me to read a thead such as this and relate to what everyone is sharing. Shopping was one my hardest challenges after recovery and even after a year clean, it is still a bit of a challenge, but better. Once I am there now I am fine; however, getting motivated to go is the challenge.
One thing I definitely agree with RubyRose on is the return of big time laughter. At about the 6 months point, I realized I was having big laughing spells over some of the silliest things! And, realizing I not laughed like that in years. Overall, life gets better and better for certain. You have to remember with me, though, I was on the opiate pill roller coaster over 20 years and am 58 years old now. I geniunely encourage all you younger "readers" to take the step today into recovery and not wait as long as I did.
One thing I definitely agree with RubyRose on is the return of big time laughter. At about the 6 months point, I realized I was having big laughing spells over some of the silliest things! And, realizing I not laughed like that in years. Overall, life gets better and better for certain. You have to remember with me, though, I was on the opiate pill roller coaster over 20 years and am 58 years old now. I geniunely encourage all you younger "readers" to take the step today into recovery and not wait as long as I did.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Native
Posts: 2,509
This is because ... going to Walgreens does kinda suck. There's really nothing cool about it, you were just high. Everything's cool when you're high. That's why you/we got high.
It's not like you walked into an antique store full of brilliant old stuff (or were sitting on the beach in Maui, or ... ) and still thought it sucked, put it that way. Maybe you still would right now, cause you're not back to 'normal' yet, brain chemistry-wise ... but you will find that, yeah ... there's some things you thought were great when you were high, that you won't think that about anymore. Oh well!
I'm here to tell ya ... losing the feeling that friggin Walgreens was someplace you could go to have a good time ... is well worth the other benefits of living clean and sober. Once your brain chems get back to normal, when you DO go someplace or do something legitimately cool ... you're going to appreciate it SO MUCH more (not to mention, actually remember the experience).
Honestly, this is like lamenting that Big Macs and Whoppers don't taste good anymore now that you're sober
It's not like you walked into an antique store full of brilliant old stuff (or were sitting on the beach in Maui, or ... ) and still thought it sucked, put it that way. Maybe you still would right now, cause you're not back to 'normal' yet, brain chemistry-wise ... but you will find that, yeah ... there's some things you thought were great when you were high, that you won't think that about anymore. Oh well!
I'm here to tell ya ... losing the feeling that friggin Walgreens was someplace you could go to have a good time ... is well worth the other benefits of living clean and sober. Once your brain chems get back to normal, when you DO go someplace or do something legitimately cool ... you're going to appreciate it SO MUCH more (not to mention, actually remember the experience).
Honestly, this is like lamenting that Big Macs and Whoppers don't taste good anymore now that you're sober
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 30
Bval is spot on....I am 48 days off pain pills.....2 months ago I would have woke up, popped 2 pills or 4 ......and went on my day....everything is "cool" when you are high
Getting used to doing normal things sober is all part of the recovery process.....think about it....Walgreens high and having fun??? It shouldn't be fun.
Be proud you went sober!!! Good job and God Bless.
Getting used to doing normal things sober is all part of the recovery process.....think about it....Walgreens high and having fun??? It shouldn't be fun.
Be proud you went sober!!! Good job and God Bless.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Native
Posts: 2,509
Thanks Dees.
But try running the numbers sometime on a 3+ year 'street' OC habit at $100/day ... and you'll rather immediately discover that such wisdom came at a VERY high price ... and that's just the money part
But try running the numbers sometime on a 3+ year 'street' OC habit at $100/day ... and you'll rather immediately discover that such wisdom came at a VERY high price ... and that's just the money part
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 218
Oh man NewAttitude did you hit the nail on the head with that post. It really hit home. I felt EXACTLY like that when first in withdrawal. All that daily mundane boring bullsh!t...what's the point? It was all so much more fun and doable when I was high. (This was definitely one of the reasons I relapsed EIGHT times in one year. That, and the depression)*
Of course for me, well, I got to the point where I no longer bothered to go to Walgreens, or anywhere else for that matter. I'd send my husband or my kids instead. And then I got to the point where I no longer did anything around the house. I mean NOTHING. Then I started not getting out of bed until noon or one o'clock. I can only imagine where this would have led had I stayed on Oxy.*
Fortunately I no longer feel that way. And I bet you won't either. In time. *
Somewhere along the way it changed for me. I'm only 5 weeks clean from a nasty Oxycodone habit and just in the last week I began to feel normal again. I wake up in the morning and actually look forward to the day even if it's full of mundane **** like cleaning, shopping and laundry. No one's more surprised about this than me! All I know is I'm thrilled to have my boring life back again!
Even though every day may seem like an eternity it will pass. You WILL start feeling better and appreciating the simple things in life. Corny, but true. Just hang tough, keep reading and posting here and stay focused.*
Life really is better clean. * * * *
Of course for me, well, I got to the point where I no longer bothered to go to Walgreens, or anywhere else for that matter. I'd send my husband or my kids instead. And then I got to the point where I no longer did anything around the house. I mean NOTHING. Then I started not getting out of bed until noon or one o'clock. I can only imagine where this would have led had I stayed on Oxy.*
Fortunately I no longer feel that way. And I bet you won't either. In time. *
Somewhere along the way it changed for me. I'm only 5 weeks clean from a nasty Oxycodone habit and just in the last week I began to feel normal again. I wake up in the morning and actually look forward to the day even if it's full of mundane **** like cleaning, shopping and laundry. No one's more surprised about this than me! All I know is I'm thrilled to have my boring life back again!
Even though every day may seem like an eternity it will pass. You WILL start feeling better and appreciating the simple things in life. Corny, but true. Just hang tough, keep reading and posting here and stay focused.*
Life really is better clean. * * * *
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Walgreen can be a little bit fun again after you get some clean time.....they do have fun gagets to look at and a lot of makeup! But I would still rather go get a mani pedi, now THAT is fun stuff!
Keep on staying clean and like everyone on here said your brain will re-pattern and things will seem interesting again!
Blessings, Lily
But I would still rather go get a mani pedi, now THAT is fun stuff! Keep on staying clean and like everyone on here said your brain will re-pattern and things will seem interesting again!
Blessings, Lily
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I love Walgreens...I love shopping period. It will be fun again NewAttitude. The blah feeling won't stay forever. Give your brain some time to catch up. It's been through alot.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Native
Posts: 2,509
To each their own I suppose. The only shopping I legitimately enjoy is going to really cool 2nd-hand stores with tons of random older stuff to peruse ... things from different times/eras ... or 'ancient treasures' as I like to call them. There's just such a place in downtown Mesa ...
I also love going to musical equipment stores and playing various guitars and amps ... oh ... and I love me some Fry's Electronics, esp when I have dough and am going to buy some new electronic gizmo!
But I stand by my earlier claim ... going to Walgreens generally pretty much blows, IMHO
I also love going to musical equipment stores and playing various guitars and amps ... oh ... and I love me some Fry's Electronics, esp when I have dough and am going to buy some new electronic gizmo!
But I stand by my earlier claim ... going to Walgreens generally pretty much blows, IMHO
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
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really cool 2nd-hand stores with tons of random older stuff to peruse ... things from different times/eras ... or 'ancient treasures' as I like to call them.
LOL I guess I could see walgreens blowing for some...I just really dig funky polish and eyelashes...they have lots
Goodwill is actually one of my favorite places to dig around.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by RubyRose 
I remember the Blah feeling very well. I had it for what felt like forever at the time. I quit c/t oxy on June 6 and the first time I actually did something I had fun doing was the middle of August - and then I had to have a 2 hour nap!
I basically just got by doing only what I had to. Sounds so boring now but at the time I didn't have the energy to care. I watched a lot of TV and napped a lot. Mostly I remember being SO tired and worn out feeling most of the time. At least you're doing housework and cooking meals - I never did that for about 2-3 months.
Take Care...Ruby...
Ruby, thank you so much for your post. It gave me a lot to think about. Just knowing that the "blahs" are normal is helpful. I'm only on day 12 sober so I guess it will just take time...
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Originally Posted by TheReader
It still surprises me to read a thead such as this and relate to what everyone is sharing. Shopping was one my hardest challenges after recovery and even after a year clean, it is still a bit of a challenge, but better. Once I am there now I am fine; however, getting motivated to go is the challenge..
Maybe this is a case of "Fake it til you Make it"? My addict brain tells me that if I don't FEEL like doing something, then I shouldn't HAVE to do it. Does anyone else ever feel this way?
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Originally Posted by bval
This is because ... going to Walgreens does kinda suck. There's really nothing cool about it, you were just high. Everything's cool when you're high. That's why you/we got high.
I'm here to tell ya ... losing the feeling that friggin Walgreens was someplace you could go to have a good time ... is well worth the other benefits of living clean and sober. Once your brain chems get back to normal, when you DO go someplace or do something legitimately cool ... you're going to appreciate it SO MUCH more (not to mention, actually remember the experience).
Honestly, this is like lamenting that Big Macs and Whoppers don't taste good anymore now that you're sober
I'm here to tell ya ... losing the feeling that friggin Walgreens was someplace you could go to have a good time ... is well worth the other benefits of living clean and sober. Once your brain chems get back to normal, when you DO go someplace or do something legitimately cool ... you're going to appreciate it SO MUCH more (not to mention, actually remember the experience).
Honestly, this is like lamenting that Big Macs and Whoppers don't taste good anymore now that you're sober
Bval, thanks for the slap upside my head I needed & the laugh I needed even more!
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 67
[QUOTE=Ggeo;3249928]Oh man NewAttitude did you hit the nail on the head with that post. It really hit home. I felt EXACTLY like that when first in withdrawal. All that daily mundane boring bullsh!t...what's the point? It was all so much more fun and doable when I was high
Of course for me, well, I got to the point where I no longer bothered to go to Walgreens, or anywhere else for that matter. I'd send my husband or my kids instead. And then I got to the point where I no longer did anything around the house. I mean NOTHING. Then I started not getting out of bed until noon or one o'clock. I can only imagine where this would have led had I stayed on Oxy.*QUOTE]
================================================== ===================
Ggeo, you just described me to a "T". All I've done for about the last year is lay in bed, taking my pills (which of course made me sleepy, which is why I needed to stay in bed) leaving my husband & son to fend for themselves. So my romanticizing my former Walgreens trips were actually from my early using days, before I had to use just to avoid w/d. In the beginning the pills gave me energy, made me feel at ease, and turned my world rosy. But in the end, they imprisoned me, made me lethargic & depressed, and turned my world an ugly gray.
Thinking about it now, I think what I'm feeling is scared. Being sober = being vulnerable to people, places, & things; i.e. the world. I don't have my medicinal cloak of (imagined) invincibility surrounding me, "protecting" me from the unknown.
Being high, nothing mattered. Being sober, everything matters...at least everything must be evaluated to determine if it matters. I've tolerated the unacceptable and rejected the beautiful and necessary aspects of so much of my life due to my skewed perception of reality.
My greatest desire is to WANT TO cook good, nutritious meals, especially to see the look of appreciation on my son's face. He deserves that at the very least!
So now my question is: do I force myself to clean the kitchen, grocery shop, unload groceries, and then make myself cook a meal, then clean up afterward? I want to want to do this, but my "wanter" is broken.
Any insight is appreciated...
Of course for me, well, I got to the point where I no longer bothered to go to Walgreens, or anywhere else for that matter. I'd send my husband or my kids instead. And then I got to the point where I no longer did anything around the house. I mean NOTHING. Then I started not getting out of bed until noon or one o'clock. I can only imagine where this would have led had I stayed on Oxy.*QUOTE]
================================================== ===================
Ggeo, you just described me to a "T". All I've done for about the last year is lay in bed, taking my pills (which of course made me sleepy, which is why I needed to stay in bed) leaving my husband & son to fend for themselves. So my romanticizing my former Walgreens trips were actually from my early using days, before I had to use just to avoid w/d. In the beginning the pills gave me energy, made me feel at ease, and turned my world rosy. But in the end, they imprisoned me, made me lethargic & depressed, and turned my world an ugly gray.
Thinking about it now, I think what I'm feeling is scared. Being sober = being vulnerable to people, places, & things; i.e. the world. I don't have my medicinal cloak of (imagined) invincibility surrounding me, "protecting" me from the unknown.
Being high, nothing mattered. Being sober, everything matters...at least everything must be evaluated to determine if it matters. I've tolerated the unacceptable and rejected the beautiful and necessary aspects of so much of my life due to my skewed perception of reality.
My greatest desire is to WANT TO cook good, nutritious meals, especially to see the look of appreciation on my son's face. He deserves that at the very least!
So now my question is: do I force myself to clean the kitchen, grocery shop, unload groceries, and then make myself cook a meal, then clean up afterward? I want to want to do this, but my "wanter" is broken.
Any insight is appreciated...
Last edited by NewAttitude; 01-21-2012 at 07:12 PM. Reason: quotation problems
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Originally Posted by bval
This is because ... going to Walgreens does kinda suck. There's really nothing cool about it, you were just high. Everything's cool when you're high. That's why you/we got high.
I'm here to tell ya ... losing the feeling that friggin Walgreens was someplace you could go to have a good time ... is well worth the other benefits of living clean and sober. Once your brain chems get back to normal, when you DO go someplace or do something legitimately cool ... you're going to appreciate it SO MUCH more (not to mention, actually remember the experience).
Honestly, this is like lamenting that Big Macs and Whoppers don't taste good anymore now that you're sober
I'm here to tell ya ... losing the feeling that friggin Walgreens was someplace you could go to have a good time ... is well worth the other benefits of living clean and sober. Once your brain chems get back to normal, when you DO go someplace or do something legitimately cool ... you're going to appreciate it SO MUCH more (not to mention, actually remember the experience).
Honestly, this is like lamenting that Big Macs and Whoppers don't taste good anymore now that you're sober
Bval, thanks for the slap upside my head I needed & the laugh I needed even more!
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 448
Bval: If I have to shop I go to the big mall where I can get everything at once. Also they have a 'Chapters' attached to a Starbucks and I find a book I really want to read and then sit in Starbucks with a coffee and read. When I've had enough I just put the book back (hidden, if I haven't finished it) until I go again. I call it "My Poor Man's Library". ... then -just outside of Starbucks are the theatres and I will treat myself to a movie I've been wanting to see. Now THIS is what I call shopping!
Soberlicious : I hate you but my Mom and sister would love you and trade me in for you in a flash. I ruin their shopping trips and because I only go if there is free lunch involved I whine about earing the whole time (so I'm told)
...Ruby...
Soberlicious : I hate you but my Mom and sister would love you and trade me in for you in a flash. I ruin their shopping trips and because I only go if there is free lunch involved I whine about earing the whole time (so I'm told)
...Ruby...
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