oxyblue

Hello:

Straight to the point, I am a 49 year old male. I have been trying to kick drinking and oxycodone abuse for sometime. I have lurked here and read many post in a effort to clean up and have failed over and over.

I would like to have one person that would be willing to corrospond with me via email and phone to support me in yet another effort. I really need someone to confide in that is not connected to my life.

If you are willing to to help, please respond to this post and I will check back in the a.m. and contact you.

Thank you for your interest.

Dee74

Hi oxyblue

I know you'll find a lot of support here in these forums, and I hope you'll give that a go too, regardless of whether you find someone here who's prepared to chat with you one on one

Welcome
D

Spica

Hey Oxyblue - I am ~66 days clean from a five year oxy road trip to hell. I did the home detox thing and am thrilled to no longer let those stupid little blue bastards rule my life.

While I commend your efforts to get clean I have personally found that for me I needed face to face contact with people who went through what I did and could hold me accountable - not only does it get me out of myself but lets me help others.

This forum is a great place and if you do find someone to work with you one on one that is awesome but I would also like to recommend that you reach out to a local NA group at least in the beginning to help you especially if you have been fighting this for a while. I found that I could not do it alone and while the forum and the friends I have met here have been an amazing amount of help in my recovery I find that being with people in person and not long distance is what has helped me the most in making this clean time a permanent thing.

We are all different and follow our own paths but I wanted to throw that out there... I originally came to this forum in 2008 and found some great assistance but did not follow up with any group face to face and ended up struggling terribly for the next three years.

AA and NA are not the only way to go but they provide an amazing amount of support and the opportunity to help others on a personal face to face basis. Good luck to you as you work towards recovery!

oxyblue

Thanks for your replies, and Spica congratulations on your 66 days! I have made it to 6 days a couple times. I can't for the life of me figure out why I am where I am, again, but here I am.

FT

Hi oxyblue,

I total get the isolation thing coupled with privacy issues.

I am here a lot, and I PM with some people who want to do that.

A lot of people here are apprehensive of "co-dependency" issues. While I'm not particularly worried about that issue, you should consider it when making your recovery plans.

If you decide to ask my advice, I will warn you ahead of time -- I'm pretty "tough love" and I say what I mean.

Good luck. Maybe more will answer besides me and Spica.

FT

oxyblue

Thank you failedtaper. I am going to lay down for a while but I will pm you later. I would appreciate someone just lending an ear that gets it. I am not asking you or anyone else to fix me. Didn't mean to give that impression.

As far as the codependency thing, oxycodone is my steak, booze is my salad. If I don't have steak for dinner, I'm not that interested in the salad.

FT

oxyblue,

I think you need to have a few more posts under your belt before you can PM. Just in case you tried and couldn't do one.

FT

oxyblue

Thanks. I guess the biggest issue for me is after the 3-4 day pain, although I an growing weary of that and my will power is not what it used to be. I find the anxiety and depression afterward to be my stumbling block.

Any natural stuff come to mind that helps with this? I take Valium through the acute part but I don't want to take it more the 4 or 5 days.

FT

Hi oxyblue,

You are nailing the problems right on the head.

A lot of us became addicted to opiates BECAUSE of underlying anxiety and depression. Opiates are truly remarkable drugs to "fix" those problems, and if you are like me, you thought you had found the miracle cure for your problems. Opiates affect the dopamine receptors and the brain chemicals that deal with mood, hence the chemical rush and pleasure we feel when taking them.

I won't go into the whole thing here, but the drugs stop working the way they do at first, and eventually the house of cards you build upon them comes crashing down, leaving you with addiction to substances that barely make you feel normal any more. Quitting your drugs and alcohol leaves all those receptor sites empty and crying out to be filled again. Any depression and/or anxiety that pre-existed the opiates is there waiting for you in spades.

All is not lost, however. Your brain does re-learn pleasure, but you need to deal with the cause of the depression and anxiety that was there before. Opiates (and alcohol) now will only prolong the problem or make it worse.

"Will power" is not a term I like. Perhaps it is applicable when you first quit, but it isn't lasting. "Perspective" is maybe a better concept to wrap your brain around.

I won't ramble further. I don't know where you are with your process of recovery and how much of this you've already batted around in your head.

Bottom line for me, and maybe for you, is that you can't go through the rest of your life addicted. Being an opiate user or alcoholic doesn't fit my life plan.

FT

oxyblue

Thanks again for your time. I will post a more in depth summery of me and where I am tomorrow. It takes me an hour to type a two minute statement. One reason I prefer phone conversations LOL.

Thanks again for you consideration.