raven17

my name is christine, im 23, im a heroin addict and alcoholic and just extremely depressed n suicidal, i hate life, but i want to WANT to life again n am willing to try, i have alot of emotional problems n the one thing that really clears my head is horses, ive been riding since i was prolly 5 or 6 years old, but had to quit bc i was too sick with my crohns disease. I want to find a residential equine therapy place i can go to but im struggling with this and i dont have any money n my family doesnt have much, i found one place i would love to go to but its sooo expensive, does anyone know any cheaper of these types of places or anyway i can get funding??---very desperate, i would appreciate any input, thank you all ...

Impurrfect

(((Raven))) - welcome to SR! I don't really know of any type places you're talking about or the funding, but do want you to know that this is a good place for support, and someone may know of something. I understand about the horses...haven't ridden in years, but met a friend (from here) that has 3 and I call her place "my paradise".

You may want to read through some posts here, and the "stickies" which are the threads at the very top of the forum. Lots of good info there, and you'll soon realize you're not alone.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Runhappy

Christine,

A friend of mine owns a horse and she has him at a boarding place. She can never find the time to exercise him as much as she would like. And I think the boarding place charges extra to exercise and brush him etc. So she found a teenaged girl who absolutely adores horses but can't afford one of her own. The girl spends 3 or 4 days a week with the horse for free. Riding him brushing him playing with him. It is win-win.

Maybe if you put an ad on Craigslist in your area under the pets section describing that you want to volunteer to exercise peoples horses. Or maybe if you called up some boarding places where you live you could volunteer there.

Maybe just starting out volunteering or with an ad in the equestrian section of a local online paper or something could get you hooked up with people who could help you find the right situation.

Good luck and if you are still feeling suicidal I would like to advise you to please call either
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or someone you trust and let them know the way you are feeling!

Hang in there stay strong!

Red42

Chrisrine I know your pain! I'm detoxing of opiates (pills) n alcohol. I'm into my 40s. First time I got clean was when I was 26. Lot easier then! Focus on getting clean first! If u are in really bad shape hit the county hospital. Know it's not ideal but place to start. Don't know of anyone sobering up that doesn't feel suicidal lol. Horse therapy amazing. Get you butt to Aa/NA meetings. If that meeting doesn't click for u try another and another! Can't do this alone sweetie. Then look for horse rescue places to volunteer. Most -even small towns have them. Don't give up. Who knows- may meet someone at a meeting that can help u. Things work like that when getting clean. It totally sucks. But do it NOW. and if relapse keep trying. Don't give up!!! Either keep trying or plan your funeral. Harsh but true. Bet u have a lot to offer the world even tho feel like crap. Focus on everything to do to get clean. Keep on trying. Best to you!

raven17

.... thank you guys for your input, the craiglist ad is a great idea, i didnt think of that. And your right i need to focus on staying clean and being stable (both mentally and emotionally) before i can do anything else. At this point i cant even function in everyday life. Sometimes its hard for me to even motivate myself to get up or even shower on some days im looking into places with my insurance right now but i really dont wana do a 28 day 12-step rehab, tried it before and hated it... i think im looking more for a long term mental health program... know of any good ones? ps im located in pittsburgh pa but i dont mind traveling anywhere, wherever can help is where i wana be!! but price is an issue so private institutions are out unless they are reasonably priced... thanks again, look forward to more input!!

dawnie24

Your only young 23 and heroin addict and alcoholic... Why did you start doin heroin , you need the right help , to help you get clean and sober ... People on here are willin to help (we help eachother)

Welcome to the forum and I hope all the best for gettin clean and sober

Runhappy

I stumbled upon a link that has a listing of 1,500 free or almost free rehabs. You may try there. "http://www.choosehelp.com/ebooks/the-complete-guide-to-affordable-drug-alcohol-rehab" . Or try googling the search term free rehab or low cost rehab etc.

Sorry I couldnt post the link so you could click on it. I'm not that computer savvy.

I am glad to see you back here and posting. I was thinking about you earlier. You are so far ahead of the game if you realized and admitted and acknowledge your drug issues at your age. As Dr Phil says "you cant fix what you don't admit". At your age I was so far in denial. I wasted so much time and money and missed out on so much living because I wouldnt listen.

I think of that Amy Winnouse song she wrote with the words "they tryin to make me to to rehab but I said no no no". If only she had listened.

The common theme on all the threads are your life gets better when you quit doing drugs and your life gets worse when you continue to use drugs. I can attest to that. Nothing good has ever come into my life because of drugs. When I'm off drugs my life is good. When I'm on drugs my life sucks. There is a corny saying but its true "my worst day sober is better than my best day using" (or something like that)

Anyway please continue to reach out for support. Continue to work on your plan to quit and stay stopped.

And I would like to point out that you hardly ever see any old heroin addicts. They all seem to either die early or maybe they are all in Jail. And let's just imagine that you do see an old heroin user. What does he/she look like? Teeth?

Stay strong!!!!!!! You can do it.