only the truth another relapse
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: omaha Ne
Posts: 16
only the truth another relapse
Hey all~~~~~ Yes i relapsed already today and its only 11 am ! But i found sum fentanyl patches from a dealer i bought a while ago wat do i do this am yea thats rite put it in my mouth and sucked all the medicine out now im high and feeling good but i also have guilt of thinkin maybe i really dont wanna quit i wanna live a short miserable life idk i know i can do this if i put as much effort in my RECOVERY as i do my ADDICTION id surely get clean lol ! I know i wanna quit but im so scared to cut ties with drs and dealers as once i do that there is no turning back idk im babbeling and u guys pry dont wanna hear it all esp those of you who remain clean and sober ! Any advice is apprec. and u are a great bunch of people ~
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
i know i can do this if i put as much effort in my RECOVERY as i do my ADDICTION...
^^^ That's it right there.
You won't quit until your are ready. You're thinking about it, which is good, but maybe you're not there yet. I thought about quitting for years before I finally did it. Once I made up my mind to do it, I checked myself into detox in the middle of the night after sending an email to my work telling them what I was doing. It was the most important thing to me and if I lost my job over it, oh well. (I didnt'.) When you reach that point that you want sobriety more than anything, you'll be willing to cut all ties and do whatever is necessary.
^^^ That's it right there.
You won't quit until your are ready. You're thinking about it, which is good, but maybe you're not there yet. I thought about quitting for years before I finally did it. Once I made up my mind to do it, I checked myself into detox in the middle of the night after sending an email to my work telling them what I was doing. It was the most important thing to me and if I lost my job over it, oh well. (I didnt'.) When you reach that point that you want sobriety more than anything, you'll be willing to cut all ties and do whatever is necessary.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: omaha Ne
Posts: 16
I understand wat ur telling me im just afraid that by the time i hit my "Rockbottom" It may be too late ........yesterday i took so many pills that i thought i was overdosing only i threw up and threw up and then went to bed i was truley scared inside not the first time i felt i may die ...........i think of my kids who are 9 and 7 and i know the pain i felt losing my own mom to brain cancer last august i still just block out the hurt and its been over a year i havnt begun to deal with that loss and i just think to myself wat if this addiction does kill me then my poor kids will have the pain forever knowing their mom overdosed and left them in this world alone ......i hope i quit soon or the fact of the matter is i will die i kno this because i have no control i always think i have a high high tolerance so i wont o.D but then those times like yesterday heart beating slow breathing feeling like i cud die at any second reminds me im NOT invincable and why cant i quit knowing all this????????????????/
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
Unfortunately, many do die. You have to make a decision though. Knowing all you know, are you willing to do whatever it takes to get off that crap? Are you willing to enter into a detox and maybe on to rehab? Are you willing to do it right now...today? I know how scary it is, trust me. It took me another two years after my DUI and all the crap that goes along with that, before I was ready.
You don't have to wait until you lose everything. It wasn't some monumentous event that caused me to pick up the phone and call a detox center that night. I just knew at that moment that I'd had enough. I could have gone on to bed and told myself I'd deal with it tomorrow, but I truly had had enough. When you have really, truly and honestly had enough, you'll know.
You don't have to wait until you lose everything. It wasn't some monumentous event that caused me to pick up the phone and call a detox center that night. I just knew at that moment that I'd had enough. I could have gone on to bed and told myself I'd deal with it tomorrow, but I truly had had enough. When you have really, truly and honestly had enough, you'll know.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 683
Do you really hate you children this much?????????
I didn't think so. Pick yourself up and get some help. If not for you, for the sake of your children who will have to live life without their parent.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't think so. Pick yourself up and get some help. If not for you, for the sake of your children who will have to live life without their parent.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
You don't have to wait until you lose everything. It wasn't some monumentous event that caused me to pick up the phone and call a detox center that night. I just knew at that moment that I'd had enough. I could have gone on to bed and told myself I'd deal with it tomorrow, but I truly had had enough.
If you want changes in your life, you have to make changes - there's no short cuts.
I really hope you'll reach out and get some help - today
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: South Milwaukee, WI.
Posts: 53
Hi, Realpse is ok if you get right back on track, don`t beat yourself up!! it`s done and over
you have to really want this and I`m not sure if you are, I wish you were for YOU and YOUR CHildren!!!!
you have to give up all Drs.,dealers and friends who use otherwise we are too weak @ this point to say NO.
Just think the weeks of hell you go through is nothing compared to how you will feel and love once you give it up.
It is a HARD road but you can do it!!!!
Rehab does help if you can do it, it`s only a week or so, isn`t your life worth it?
Honestly I feel much better and so glad I`m not chasing and worrying if I will run out..
You have to love yourself and have a spiritual connection, that helps also.
Good Luck and YOU CAN DO IT, but you need to really want it and try HARD....
you have to really want this and I`m not sure if you are, I wish you were for YOU and YOUR CHildren!!!!
you have to give up all Drs.,dealers and friends who use otherwise we are too weak @ this point to say NO.
Just think the weeks of hell you go through is nothing compared to how you will feel and love once you give it up.
It is a HARD road but you can do it!!!!
Rehab does help if you can do it, it`s only a week or so, isn`t your life worth it?
Honestly I feel much better and so glad I`m not chasing and worrying if I will run out..
You have to love yourself and have a spiritual connection, that helps also.
Good Luck and YOU CAN DO IT, but you need to really want it and try HARD....
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