margarok

I admit that I check in here from month to month to remind myself why I don't want to travel that road again. All of your stories mean a lot to me... they both remind me and inspire me.

However, this summer I've noticed that a lot of the folks who used to check in from time to time haven't been around. I'm hoping they are well, but just thought I'd toss this out to see if they are distant lurkers like me and might pop in to say "Howdy."

I don't want to put up any names... just that I found this site in the fall of 2009, so if you were posting regularly around that time?

How are you doing?

FT

Hi margarok,

I wasn't here then, but even my buds from the spring of this year are gone now. I do know that at least two of them are still clean and doing fine.

I hope the rest are doing well, too. But I know what you mean.

FT

Dee74

One of the things about a site as big as this is people do come...and they do go.
I always hope they're moving on to bigger and better things

good to see you again Margarok

D

margarok

Dee and FT,

Thanks for the check-in... Like I said, I just pop in from time to time to "see" why I had to change my life. I'm glad folks like you are still here to lend a hand.

Going2Change

Here is one old name, coming back..I haven't had time to come to this board for many, many days, yes I thought of FT and SBH but my life has gotten so busy it's insane. I've got a new lady and she has two kids, and so within the last couple of months, I've gone from 0 to 60 being a family man and all.

I think the reason I came back here today is simple. My addict brain reared it's ugly head and once I came here, it's plain to see everyone's struggle renews my faith. I'm so happy for FT that she's stuck around and helped so many people.

I know when I made my first post here, I felt like no one would write back, and the minutes, seemed like days to me until someone finally responded and it was her.

I really do hope to be here more often. I feel more alive today than I have in years and I know coming here and reading everyone's posts help me with that. There is much support here, shared in all our stuggles.

Much Love, G2C

oxyious

I could be wrong, probably am but possibly a good chunk of people come here more in the initial detox/recovery process (where some of us, well at least me--- aren't currently working half in part due to our disease and have more time.... As we add more sober time under our belt, we find jobs and don't find we need the 24/7 support like we did at first? Guessing here? I know once I've got a LOT more time sober and I'm working full time-- I won't be posting all day/all night....but I don't think I'll ever leave completely.

Due to the wackadoo leaving me death threats from the AA/NA center across the street---including a restraining order (from me, to him).. I don't go as much as I would like to.

FNB3

You all could tell exactly how I'm doing by my level of posting here. When I'm feeling good I like to post often. When things are bad I crawl into my man-cave and withdrawl. I think some of that is addict behavior and some is just a difference between men and women.

Don't know if that would be the same with a significant amount of recovery time under my belt, but it is now. I isolate big-time when I'm hurting. I don't like being vulnerable and feeling exposed.

When I started out here, I forced myself to post something, anything...just because...and it worked well. SR was kind of an accountability partner for me. I'm going to have to go through withdrawals all over again in the next week and I'm not looking forward to it at all but at least I know what to do and expect.

Going2Change

I feel ya' FNB3. I'm sorry to hear you got to fight the demon all over again, but you know the drill. I was thinking the other day as I took a bath, which I haven't done in ages, really since my last WD how good baths made me feel, I took about 4-6 a day, but by the end of it, I was sick of baths and you couldn't pay me to take another one. But for a while, a HOT BATH really does make your aches stop, if only for a little while. I'm with you on the SR acting as accountability partner because it is for me too and no matter how much I wanted to escape this board, or think that I wasn't an addict, I surely am and I need this board to kick me in the arse, to renew my faith in myself and my faith in that so many people truly want off the OX or whatever your DOC is..mine is/was surely the OX..Please do come here and post as much as you can this week and next, to share your story..God knows we all need it. I wish you the best of luck, strength, resolve, whatever it takes to fight the demon..

G2C

RobS

I'm still here. Wasn't until April of this year till I started posting and being clean but here I am feeling pretty damn good about life!!! I guess when we feel better, life takes over as it should the way we were before we all started this mess. Hope you all are doing well!!!

Going2Change

Very true..for me I needed to come back for the support, the stories, for all of us..I was gone a few months myself and it's funny how life seems to take over until your faced with a trigger or the impulse to dance with the OX once again. Honestly as FailedTaper says it's odd how we become friends with screen names and people we wouldn't even know if we saw them in person. I often think about meeting her, or SBH, or any of us and saying "hey, I'm G2C." Anyway...I know we miss old names, but let's flip the script and be thankful for the ones who are here...

SlvrMag

I'm sure nobody noticed I was gone (and no, I am not feeling sorry for myself =} just being realistic) but I checked in today for some reason. I am still alive!

Moved to Colorado 2 months ago. It is beautiful here! Dealing with endings and beginnings. Normal life stuff.

Dee74

LOL I noticed
good to see you back SM

D

larrylive

Hello Margarok,

I believe i have been around here since 2009, but haven't been clean that long...but things are looking much better this past year. Hope all is well with you and yours.

Larrylive (recoveredcrackhead)

MySecretLove

I haven't been here that long (a little over a month), but corresponded with quite a few people via PM. I think all but 1 is still around. I can only hope that they are fine.

margarok

I wondered where you were and glad to hear you are back on track.

bbeck95

Havent posted in forever! I am doing well, I just wanted to pop in and say I still read from time to time. I hope everyone else is doing as well as I am so far!! Down from 14mg of suboxone to 2mg! Wow! Never thought I would get here and was TERRIFIED to even THINK of it! It has been surprisingly easy SO FAR! I still have a ways to go and more recovery to put in place but Im getting there!

Hello to all my old friends! I hope you are well and happy!! I will try to post one of my usual book length posts soon, lol!! Much love to all of you!!

bbeck95

P.S. I couldnt log on with my old screen name. I hadnt posted in so long I forgot the password, haha. Anyhow, I think it was bbeck9598? WAY back in was Tennlady9598. Anyhow, its me, Becky! :-)

Dee74

Hi Becky - good to see you - hope you're doing well

D