Tool311

While I was cleaning today in my apartment, I found a letter I wrote to myself two weeks in sobriety after my final relapse.

I wrote this note to myself because I was so sleep deprived and anxious about the next day at work, and I read it the next morning and it helped alot.

For those of you 2 weeks or so I hope this helps. It was just my mindset at the time...

"It's been two weeks. I've been here before. But this time I've got it.
Quit dwelling on your f*ckups, everyone has their vices. I'm not even close to where I want to be but this time feels... different.

I wake up in the morning and worry about the day without my "crutch". But I'm getting used to it.

I've gotten here too many times before but I don't think I've ever felt so motivated. Life will be more content in a couple of months, I just feel it. Every day will get better. I'm more content and more aware this time.

The money, bridges burned with true friends, and times I've lost because I was high are not worth it.

It's been two weeks and I know I'll be fine."

Fast forward 6 months and my predictions were right.

Good luck all,
Tool

FT

Hey, Tool!

Congrats on the 6+ months. I'm right behind ya. For me, I kind of look at the timing being ready as a "window". Like for a space shuttle launch or something. When the timing is right, it has a better feel, doesn't it. It is just time.

So, all of you at 2 weeks or so out, look at your time like money in the bank. The more time you put in, the better you feel and it just isn't worth going back.

Great words, Tool. They read like a wonderful poem.

FT

Belier

Congrats!! I am one month behind you. What a great idea to write that lettter, I think that could be a really helpful "tool" for others!

Tool311

Thanks FT! Glad you're doing well. Good advice also.

Fellow addicts, look at it this way, "I've already gone this long, what's another day? Let's see how strong I really am."

Physical w/d is easy, you put in a couple of "lounging" days and it's over.

Mental w/d is terrible because it takes awhile.

The thing that sucks is the length of time it takes, and that it doesn't disappear as fast. It's gradual. But every day you'll feel slightly better.

I'm still not "normal" by any means but 6 months later, after looking back at that note I wrote to myself just to get myself through the next day, I am alot more content with myself now, and I realized that my emotions have made a huge jump.

I actually remember writing that note and the despair I felt, and had a little laugh about it. I don't know if it was just how silly those words were compared to how I feel now or how terrible my "poetry" is.

GL all,
311