tigerseye

6 weeks ago, I left my house in my pajamas...i had no socks, no coat...left my purse in the middle of my garage...drove myself to a nearby hospital and was told I was a Xanax addict...It was tapered in the hospital, and I was also treated for Mania and Depression and PTSD... I knew I loved Xanax, but had no idea I had been using it to stifle all of my feelings....I am having such a hard time now, without it...I am struggling just to 'be' with all of the uncomfortable feelings....Does anyone have any experience with this kind of an addiction? I'm irritable...moody....can't tell what is mental health, and what is addiction....I do know I had become very desperate for more and more of the "quiet" and "calm" that Xanax brought me....I had been doubling my dosages, and even resorted to snorting it...just to see if it would make me feel better...ugh..

opmloser

I posted my own experience with Xanax and I hope I didn't scare you, truly.
At the time I detoxed, I had been taking them heavy and hard for about 3 months so the sudden cut off was horrendous for me.
For you, it sounds like you'll be fine--medical supervision is the best route. Benzo's like X and V are dangerous to come off of by oneself.
Again, goooood luck and keep it up!

kiki5711

I'm taking xanex. Once or twice a day 1ml. I really tried to go without anything. I don't know if I ever will be normal again to deal with my emotions and anxiety just by myself. I'm taking it one day at a time.

iliveforyou

Oh yes. I have been there. Not with Xanax persay but I have been on/abused other benzos - ativan, valium and klonopin...with occasional xanax. You are def. not alone in this.

I, too, suffer from several mental illnesses and have a long 11 year history of addiction...jumping from one substance to another doing nothing but substituting. I'm glad that you were able to taper off with medical assistance as cold turkey w/d's are absolutely a nightmare. I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. It's been over a year since I've been on Valium and I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety and frequent panic attacks that are at times debilitating.

I wish I had some advice to offer but I wanted to respond to this. Do you have a psych dr? Regular dr? That you could consult and maybe they could help you...

-Jess

Smile123

I'm sorry you are going through this. I celebrated three years of clean time yesterday from a hellish addiction to benzos and tranquilizers, so I can tell you there is hope for you. I also spent time in psych wards and detox programs and ended up on life support after an overdose in April of 08. I had overdosed 3 times before this, but the last time I was as close to death as anyone can be. I went to a 30 day inpatient rehab and it honestly saved my life, but they didn't do the work for me. You made a great step by going to the hospital and asking for help. With a doctor's help your anxiety can be managed without narcotics, but it may take a few tries with different doctors to find the one that is going to invest their time in helping you. Use any and all resources available to you and believe in yourself!! Getting clean when you have legitimate medical issues or mental illness is not easy. It can be done, but it takes work. Trust me it's worth it - you're worth it! Prayin for you!

Jayner

tigerseye, are you getting any follow-up help? It sounds like you might need to see a doctor if you are still feeling this bad.

I've been on benzos for many years. I started on xanax and I'm on klonopin now and have been on the same dosage for at least ten years with no need for adjustments.

Obviously, we're not doctors and can't tell you what to do or what to take, but your doctor can. I wish you the best and hope you feel better soon.

krug

10 years, 6mg xanax. Loved the pills, hated the addiction.

Started abusing and drinking, almost lost everything.....

Began a taper, down to 5.5 for 2 weeks, then 5.0 for two, under a Dr.s care. Found the WD during taper to be too much. Didn't want to go through that for 4-5 months. Went to treatment for alcohol and xanax.

4 day comedown, day 10 was the worst, I was rocking myself, and trying to hold my head together, but....after the 10th day, the WD's were almost nothing.

120 days sober. No xanax, thank god, no alcohol. Mind is clear. Sleeping like a baby, (I take melatonin 3mg over the counter). Working AA, but I'm far from perfect, at my lowest, I still am blessed that I don't have to
1. Count my pills and plan for my next scripts
2. Take pills everywhere
3. FREAK out if I left pills at home and I'm at work
4. Feel crazy if I forget a dose,
etc, etc.

K

sammycat

Jayner, do you worry what will happen when you hit tolerance and you K stops working and you need to go up in dose? You ARE addicted, whether or not you realize it. I have been on K for 18 years, same dose, but having interdose withdrawals. I want off. Tapering for 7 months but not going well. Are you not worried about the future of having to up dose? Or what they do to your brain? Or that research shows they stop being affective for anxiety after 4 months? They can start CAUSING panic attacks. Just curious what people who have been on them a long time think about the dangers.

BullDog777

I had been taking Klonopin/Xanax/Valium/Serax for 3-5 years, rotating between the 4 on and off. I was also an alcoholic.

At my worst, i was on 6mg of Klonopin almost daily. Almost 18 months ago, i decided to get sober.

i printed the Ashton manual on benzo addiction and really read up on what was gonna happen to me. I wasn't really interested in tapering because i felt likle that was just another invitation into yet another level of addiction.

I don't recommend what I did because I ended up going cold turkey and it was really dangerous. I detoxed for a solid 30 days. it was the worst pain i had ever been in and there were days i didn't think i would make it. There were days i couldn't even get out of bed. i had almost every withdrawal symptom they list in the manual. The insomnia, and muscle jerking were among the worst. Still, at 30 days, i started to feel better and i started to sleep agian. I had some mild protracted withdrawal syndrome, but after awhile that went away too.

Had i not been in the shape i was in, and as young as i am, i think the detox could have killed me.. (mid 30's former athlete, MMA, wresteling, football, etc) At one point my blood pressure saw stroke levels and i had 3 seizures during the detox. Still, i survived, and now wear a medical alert braclet that says i'm not to be given any benzos....ever.

Benzo withdrawal is complicated and tough. it might be in your best interest to see if you can find an addiction specialist to help you get through it. Good Luck.

noonereal

Yes and no. Most addiction specialists have no clue what a drastic difference there is between benzos and other drugs and wind up treating it with a detox instead of a taper.

Benzo's are not as simple as heroin or alcohol, they are in a class all their own when it comes to the withdrawal syndrome.

krug

So true, when I went through treatment for xanax (and alcohol), of the 80 patients, NO ONE was a benzo head like me. That was very difficult in itself, no one to relate to, but also, I was not in a class like the Alkys, or Opiods, etc., I was by myself.

The DR.s wanted to do a taper of Xanax, and I said over my dead body because I made a firm resolve to never touch it again. I did take an Adivan comedown for 4 days, then basically I was on my own. The WD's were rough. Very anxious but more, just FREAKY. So much unfocused energy, I felt not of my body, lots of noise, irritated, just edgy.

The 10th day of treatment was the worst, I sat outside my PSYCH office and just rocked, I wanted to go back on, but...I made it. After that, almost no WD's. Very strange.

K

Paulos

I too am on Xanax, for my brutal anxiety attacks and just life in general. Been on it for a while, 3mg a day... I feel I get nervous, angry, irritable and really OCD when I don't have my Xanax.

kiki5711

At this point in my life, I don't think I can handle day to day without antidepressants and xanex, and Seraqil at night.

All these are addictive and would take a while to get off, but at the moment, I'm in no hurry to get off them.

I was going out of my mind with anxiety and panick attacks, stress, worry, not sleeping. I tried to deal with it in all other manners, without meds. It got worse.

Honestly, I don't know if I can be fixed any more without meds. My brain and nerves have been fried with stress for toooo long and have lost the ability to function as they use to.

krug

Sleep is important, Seraquel is pretty harmless, depending on dose.

I'm one of those that doesn't believe you are truely sober if you're taking something. (I'll make some allowances for the tricyclic anti depressants), but xanax etc is a crutch.

Once you detox or taper, you need to change yourself; cognitively, spiritually. Relying on something artificial to cope with anxiety is not normal, you are in prison.

ferrari355

I just started on Xanax a few days ago, for pretty much the same issues (general anxiety, depression, 'life in general'.) The pills are 250mcg each. I was told to pop a pill 'as needed'. So far I am taking two or three a day. It means I can't drink which is good I guess (I haven't had any alcohol cravings to speak of) but reading this thread, I'm not sure if I want to stay on the stuff.

carrswholesale

I was addicted to xanax, for 30 years. I am now clean and sober for 90 days, and 200 meetings later. The urge to drink left before the xanax did. I didn't have the funds to go to detox or try using less and less which you should talk to you doctor first withdrawals can cause seizures , sweating and panic attacks. I went through these and was fortunate that 2 1/2 weeks ago i woke up one morning and felt like a ton of bricks were removed. The only thing that got me through all of this was my higher power, talking to him like he was my best friend and meetings. Good luck on your journey. We are all here for you. You have taken one of the hardest steps by sharing. Keep coming back.

MemphisBlues

Benzos led to my utter downfall. Detoxing from benzos, from what I have experienced and researched, is like no other drug known to man.

My detox experience included seizures, psychosis, sky-high blood pressure near stroke levels...There really is no good reason I did not die.

I was prescribed a toxic amount of benzos my a qualified psychiatrist considered a regional expert in the field of panic and depression. I poured booze all over them and smoked pot daily. I have been sober, thanks to God and AA and NA, for seven months.

No Medical advice? Not here. Survival advice? Never detox from benzos cold turkey whether you are taking 1 mg of Klonopin or 4 mg of Xanax. You may not live.

See a doctor. And not just one. If you find a doctor who says, "Just stop," run as if your life depends on it. It does.

Anyone who would like to know more about benzos and the pure hell they will create in your life and out of your life, send me a PM.

Oh...seven months out, I still have withdrawal symptoms. You can call it Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, Protracted Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Syndrome, you can name it anything you want. I am not terminally unique, but hardcore drunks, heroin addicts, crack heads and meth slaves all agree with me...If they detoxed from one of the above and then went through a benzo detox, they would rather go through a dozen of the former than one more time of the latter.

Go to a doctor. Google "benzo withdrawal." If that doctor isn't well versed on benzos, go to another. Go to doctors until you find one that tells you the truth...you are in trouble, but there is help with the right information.

kiki5711

250 mlg??? holy cr....ap? mine is 1 mlg. I take one or two a day.

But 250 mlg? can't imagine even walking with that high dosage.

kiki5711

When I was younger, I wouldn't dream of taking anything. My "high/intense" awareness was my friend. It made life exciting, it made challanges worth fighting, it made me overcome, with determination, all the hardship I'd gone through.

But, at this point, I'm battle weary. I cannot fight life like I use to. My mind and body are tired from too much.

I need to slow down, in mind and body, or I'll go insane.

At this point in my life, I do need medication. These are words you would NEVER hear from me before.

FT

Just for clarity, 250 mcg is the same as 1/4 of a milligram, or 0.25 mg. Not 250 mg.

250 mg would probably kill most people.