SAHM dirty secret
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 8
SAHM dirty secret
I am a SAHM for the last 8 years. I have finally came to the realization that I am an addict and my choice is my husband Oxycodene. While it may not be alot to some, I take 30mg pill cut in half every day and it last for me. It gives me engery and focus that I need. This has been going on for almost 2 years now. It started one night when I had such a horrible migraine, my husband gave me half. Well needless to say it got rid of my migraine ane gave me energy to get through what I needed to get done. I could focus etc. Well I cannot live like this anymore. I'm living a lie, embarrassed, lieing to people.
I did go to my dr because I was having a hard time focusing the lack of energy and she did diagnose me with ADD as an adult. I started on Adderall and felt great for a few days then hit rock bottom and it stopped working, she tried ridalin, and I wanted to kill myself. Now I'm on wellbutrin and feel ok, but still taking the 15 mg to get my "Kick".
It's been 2 years on this drug. Since its controlled I have to get the script for my husband and literrally driving home I taking one so when I get home I can hit the ground running. I cannot live this up and down anymore. My husband I think has an idea and I have to stop.
Today is my first day of nothing, but I have no energy. I'm missing that boast and just wonder if i can ever feel normal again. I think that I do have some depression going on since my life has been turned upside down, with job losses, foreclosure, bad marriage, etc. I don't know what to do where to start.
I'm embarrassed to tell anyone because i don't want anyone to look at me like something is wrong with me. I just want to be clean and feel normal and not crave this "high" from this drug.
Today is my first day since I'm not taking a pill. Last night was hell, couldn't sleep, I'd lay down and then jump because it felt like my body would not relax, my stomach is a mess, massive headache and nasty taste in my mouth.
Thank you for listening and any advice for me.
Thank you for your suggestions.
I did go to my dr because I was having a hard time focusing the lack of energy and she did diagnose me with ADD as an adult. I started on Adderall and felt great for a few days then hit rock bottom and it stopped working, she tried ridalin, and I wanted to kill myself. Now I'm on wellbutrin and feel ok, but still taking the 15 mg to get my "Kick".
It's been 2 years on this drug. Since its controlled I have to get the script for my husband and literrally driving home I taking one so when I get home I can hit the ground running. I cannot live this up and down anymore. My husband I think has an idea and I have to stop.
Today is my first day of nothing, but I have no energy. I'm missing that boast and just wonder if i can ever feel normal again. I think that I do have some depression going on since my life has been turned upside down, with job losses, foreclosure, bad marriage, etc. I don't know what to do where to start.
I'm embarrassed to tell anyone because i don't want anyone to look at me like something is wrong with me. I just want to be clean and feel normal and not crave this "high" from this drug.
Today is my first day since I'm not taking a pill. Last night was hell, couldn't sleep, I'd lay down and then jump because it felt like my body would not relax, my stomach is a mess, massive headache and nasty taste in my mouth.
Thank you for listening and any advice for me.
Thank you for your suggestions.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: somewhere, tx
Posts: 128
It's Tough, You're on Track Though
Hey there,
I just joined this board as well and can tell you that diving into the Substance Abuse threads, I saw myself in almost every post. I'm thinking that every opiate is going to cause the same withdrawals. I'm not sure that going cold turkey without treatment or medical supervision is such a great idea. But yet I know what you feel. You just want badly to stop taking the meds. The lousy thing about opiate withdrawals is that day 1 may be tolerable but it gets worse before it gets better. It's like your body starts screaming out to you "where's the goodies"...that's because you've been supplying it with the stuff that your body stops making it. So when you stop suddenly, all the receptors are empty and you're going to get the "jumps", the sweats/chills, etc...
For me right now, it's the anxiety and no-sleep stuff. As bad as the initial w/d were, I would trade in the psychological boogie train for them right now.
But seriously, be good to yourself and Godsuper-speed to you.
I just joined this board as well and can tell you that diving into the Substance Abuse threads, I saw myself in almost every post. I'm thinking that every opiate is going to cause the same withdrawals. I'm not sure that going cold turkey without treatment or medical supervision is such a great idea. But yet I know what you feel. You just want badly to stop taking the meds. The lousy thing about opiate withdrawals is that day 1 may be tolerable but it gets worse before it gets better. It's like your body starts screaming out to you "where's the goodies"...that's because you've been supplying it with the stuff that your body stops making it. So when you stop suddenly, all the receptors are empty and you're going to get the "jumps", the sweats/chills, etc...
For me right now, it's the anxiety and no-sleep stuff. As bad as the initial w/d were, I would trade in the psychological boogie train for them right now.
But seriously, be good to yourself and Godsuper-speed to you.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 27
You are not going through this alone. I too am a SAHM who is addicted to pain meds. I am going cold turkey after being on some form of pain medicine for the last two years.
I am taking my last pill today, since I was supposed to be tapering off this month and failed..So please know that I am going through the exact same thing you are..
I am taking my last pill today, since I was supposed to be tapering off this month and failed..So please know that I am going through the exact same thing you are..
MIND OF DESTRUCTIVE TASTE
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 744
Welcome to SR! So glad you are here with us.
I, too, am a SAHM/Homeschooler and have had several nasty addictions to high amounts of opiate pain killers. One of the biggest things I became addicted to was the fact that I could be SUPERMOM - I could do everything and was unstoppable. My chronic pain conditions were no longer stopping me from doing what I wanted to do. For a while. Then it turned into nothing but a nightmare and creating more problems, not "fixing" them anymore.
You CAN do this! We'll be right here every step of the way
-Jess
I, too, am a SAHM/Homeschooler and have had several nasty addictions to high amounts of opiate pain killers. One of the biggest things I became addicted to was the fact that I could be SUPERMOM - I could do everything and was unstoppable. My chronic pain conditions were no longer stopping me from doing what I wanted to do. For a while. Then it turned into nothing but a nightmare and creating more problems, not "fixing" them anymore.
You CAN do this! We'll be right here every step of the way
-Jess
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 27
77d- I came in to check up on you..How are you doing? I'm on day 3 of cold turkey..It's not pleasant at all but I'm getting through minute by minute. How are you doing?? Come check in and let us know how you are..And you are not alone..
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