Very bad situation
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2
Very bad situation
This is my situation
My mother is an alcoholic, she has been drinking every night and morning, and mid day... basicly all the time. well my mom is going to AA for this. But it does not help because my mother was given some money by her dad. and the condition was she was not allowed to alcohol. Well sure enough i caught her buying a 24 pack of ice beer (6.2% alc/vol). Well i stole 40 dollars from her wallet because i know she will just buy alcohol with it. Is this wrong? and no im not keeping the 40 dollars im deciding whether to just give it back or give it to my grandpa(who's money it was) or give it back to my mom. I really want my mom to stop drinking she has been to the hospital 3 times for alcohol related things.(withdrawals, stomach problems.. ect). and on a side note shes been telling everyone that shes been sober for weeks. which i know to be not true.
How do i get my mom to stop drinking? she is already prescribed vallum
She has stole money from me and my brothers, my dad just to feed her addiction to alcohol.
My mother is an alcoholic, she has been drinking every night and morning, and mid day... basicly all the time. well my mom is going to AA for this. But it does not help because my mother was given some money by her dad. and the condition was she was not allowed to alcohol. Well sure enough i caught her buying a 24 pack of ice beer (6.2% alc/vol). Well i stole 40 dollars from her wallet because i know she will just buy alcohol with it. Is this wrong? and no im not keeping the 40 dollars im deciding whether to just give it back or give it to my grandpa(who's money it was) or give it back to my mom. I really want my mom to stop drinking she has been to the hospital 3 times for alcohol related things.(withdrawals, stomach problems.. ect). and on a side note shes been telling everyone that shes been sober for weeks. which i know to be not true.
How do i get my mom to stop drinking? she is already prescribed vallum
She has stole money from me and my brothers, my dad just to feed her addiction to alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 39
As much as I hate to say it... it might be unlikely anything you can do will stop her until she wants to stop for herself.
Having said that, have you thought about contacting an alcohol service near you? They might be able to arrange an intervention, it may help spur her into action or perhaps they could offer you some counselling if you feel you could benefit from it (it sounds as if your mothers behaviour is having quite the impact on you!).
Having said that, have you thought about contacting an alcohol service near you? They might be able to arrange an intervention, it may help spur her into action or perhaps they could offer you some counselling if you feel you could benefit from it (it sounds as if your mothers behaviour is having quite the impact on you!).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 775
Kkyle how old are you? Unfortunatly you can't make your mom stop drinking. Stealing her Money won't help she will get her alcohol in another way. There is a forum on here for friends and family they can probably help you more. You could try an alanon or alateen meeting. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Kkyle)) - I agree, there is nothing you can do to make her stop drinking. She has to want it for herself.
Please check out the friends and family (F&F) of alcoholics. It's full of people who are going through what you are, and the ES&H (experience, strength, and hope) of them is invaluable. There are also "stickies"...posts at the top of the forum that are really good info to read.
Here's the link: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/
Welcome to SR!! You are not alone, and we really do care.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Please check out the friends and family (F&F) of alcoholics. It's full of people who are going through what you are, and the ES&H (experience, strength, and hope) of them is invaluable. There are also "stickies"...posts at the top of the forum that are really good info to read.
Here's the link: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/
Welcome to SR!! You are not alone, and we really do care.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
MIND OF DESTRUCTIVE TASTE
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 744
I agree with the others.
If love could cure our disease, none of us would be here.
Sadly, there will be nothing that you can do that's going to stop your mother from drinking. She MUST want it for herself, 100%, otherwise nothing will change. Stealing the money will do nothing, if she wants to drink I guarentee you that she will find other ways to get the alcohol.
I'm sorry that you are going thru this but as others mentioned there's a forum for family amd friends that would probably have more advice for you
-Jess
If love could cure our disease, none of us would be here.
Sadly, there will be nothing that you can do that's going to stop your mother from drinking. She MUST want it for herself, 100%, otherwise nothing will change. Stealing the money will do nothing, if she wants to drink I guarentee you that she will find other ways to get the alcohol.
I'm sorry that you are going thru this but as others mentioned there's a forum for family amd friends that would probably have more advice for you
-Jess
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Sorry to hear about ur mom. I grew up with
a mom who drank and took prescription meds
to only turned into a Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde who
verbally and physically abused me. So that makes
me an Adult Child of an Alcoholic - ACOA as well
as an Alcoholic who is 20 yrs sober as of 8-11-90.
In a 25 yr marriage, 7 yrs within it, my little family
stepped in with an intervention to save my life for me.
I didn want to lose my little ones so I went thru the
28 day rehab along with a 6 week outpatiant aftercare
program doing whatever i needed to stay home .
For me I wanted this more than anything, so I went to
any lengths to do what I needed to stay sober. Because
of that willingness I am living a happy sober life for the
past 20 yrs. still living the program of recovery in my
everyday life.
Take care of you is important. Recieving the tools and
knowledge of alcoholism will better your chances of living
a happy healthy life for urself.
My dad always told me when he saw the bruises, tears
and pain I was enduring to forgive my mom because she
is sick and doesnt know what she was doing. I
forgive her because she is/was sick but I still believe she
knew what she was doing to me.
Alcoholism.......Cunning Baffling Powerful and so sad how
it destroyes all in its path unless an armour of recovery is
worn to ward off its destruction.
a mom who drank and took prescription meds
to only turned into a Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde who
verbally and physically abused me. So that makes
me an Adult Child of an Alcoholic - ACOA as well
as an Alcoholic who is 20 yrs sober as of 8-11-90.
In a 25 yr marriage, 7 yrs within it, my little family
stepped in with an intervention to save my life for me.
I didn want to lose my little ones so I went thru the
28 day rehab along with a 6 week outpatiant aftercare
program doing whatever i needed to stay home .
For me I wanted this more than anything, so I went to
any lengths to do what I needed to stay sober. Because
of that willingness I am living a happy sober life for the
past 20 yrs. still living the program of recovery in my
everyday life.
Take care of you is important. Recieving the tools and
knowledge of alcoholism will better your chances of living
a happy healthy life for urself.
My dad always told me when he saw the bruises, tears
and pain I was enduring to forgive my mom because she
is sick and doesnt know what she was doing. I
forgive her because she is/was sick but I still believe she
knew what she was doing to me.
Alcoholism.......Cunning Baffling Powerful and so sad how
it destroyes all in its path unless an armour of recovery is
worn to ward off its destruction.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by tbeit 
Kkyle how old are you? Unfortunatly you can't make your mom stop drinking. Stealing her Money won't help she will get her alcohol in another way. There is a forum on here for friends and family they can probably help you more. You could try an alanon or alateen meeting. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Hi Kkyle:
Personally, and this is JUST ME, I think that silence is the worst behavior when you see something bad going on.
Having said that, once you have done everything you can -- and you're trying some things for sure -- try to find a way not to let her wreck your life. Someone close to me binge drinks, and every time I see him start a binge, I barge right in and confront him on it. At least I make sure he doesn't drive and doesn't die from aspiration pneumonia.
Over time, my "barging" behavior has become an "embarrassment" for him, and he has stopped bingeing. He tells me that, at least in part, the fact that I call him on his behavior has caused him to rethink it. This guy has no "off" switch when drinking, and the least I can do is protect him and the public from harm.
I feel for you. This situation is painful and horrible. Yeah, the Alanon is a great idea. But some stuff you have to do from the heart.
Personally, and this is JUST ME, I think that silence is the worst behavior when you see something bad going on.
Having said that, once you have done everything you can -- and you're trying some things for sure -- try to find a way not to let her wreck your life. Someone close to me binge drinks, and every time I see him start a binge, I barge right in and confront him on it. At least I make sure he doesn't drive and doesn't die from aspiration pneumonia.
Over time, my "barging" behavior has become an "embarrassment" for him, and he has stopped bingeing. He tells me that, at least in part, the fact that I call him on his behavior has caused him to rethink it. This guy has no "off" switch when drinking, and the least I can do is protect him and the public from harm.
I feel for you. This situation is painful and horrible. Yeah, the Alanon is a great idea. But some stuff you have to do from the heart.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Irish
Posts: 552
My Brothers Partner is dying at the Moment from liver and kidney failure,she also has a Wet Brain,all from alcohol.........can he save her,can I save her NO.I can only save myself . Im one of the lucky ones, I did not want to die.
I would have helped her, If I was asked.............. my only help would be my story.You can Read it 3 down in My story Forum.
Get to an AlAnon Meeting for yourself.............save yourself from this Terrible disease.
A good friend of mine died just after Christmas.............he went out and Drank again after been off it a couple of years,so sad.
25 years ago I was given 6 months to live,I was yellow with liver failure............Im here today thanks to AA, A Good honest Doctor that I listened too,and A power Far Greater than myself.
My hope is that you coming here will spur her into doing something about her condition.
I will say Prayers for ye all.Cheers Micealc.
I would have helped her, If I was asked.............. my only help would be my story.You can Read it 3 down in My story Forum.
Get to an AlAnon Meeting for yourself.............save yourself from this Terrible disease.
A good friend of mine died just after Christmas.............he went out and Drank again after been off it a couple of years,so sad.
25 years ago I was given 6 months to live,I was yellow with liver failure............Im here today thanks to AA, A Good honest Doctor that I listened too,and A power Far Greater than myself.
My hope is that you coming here will spur her into doing something about her condition.
I will say Prayers for ye all.Cheers Micealc.
College Graduate
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Japan
Posts: 127
Hey Kyle,
Everyone here seems to be on the right track as far as I can see. You are hearing from people who have been where both you are and where your mother is. Stealing the money won;t help and only causes more doubt in your mom and she will lose trust in you. However, you cannot be silent. If you are an adult, call your mother to task, tell her you love her and that she needs help. Its a tough love situation because you can;t do it for her, and you must avoid enabling her (by coverin up her drinking)
Talk to people, and as someone already said, read through the Friends and Family section, there is a ton of good info and sharing in there.
I wish you the best
FS101
Everyone here seems to be on the right track as far as I can see. You are hearing from people who have been where both you are and where your mother is. Stealing the money won;t help and only causes more doubt in your mom and she will lose trust in you. However, you cannot be silent. If you are an adult, call your mother to task, tell her you love her and that she needs help. Its a tough love situation because you can;t do it for her, and you must avoid enabling her (by coverin up her drinking)
Talk to people, and as someone already said, read through the Friends and Family section, there is a ton of good info and sharing in there.
I wish you the best
FS101
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