sober but depressed
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 13
sober but depressed
I'm very new to both Soberrecovery and sobriety (44 days-- since 11/29/10) and I'm currently suffering from pretty major depression.
It is, as my mother would say, my own darned fault.
Around the time I stopped drinking I also went off the anti-depressant cocktail of Cymbalta/Abilify/Prozac that had kept me right for the last two years. I had my reasons. I was suffering sexual side effects, my insurance rates had gone way up, I'd had a bad experience with my psychiatrist who told me to go to Weight Watchers for my bulimia but mainly I hadn't been depressed in two years and was hoping I could stay better on my own without pills.
No such luck. Within a couple weeks of tapering off my medication I started to get seriously depressed. I had a joyless holiday season and at the moment am barely able to function.
About 5 days ago I did start taking my Prozac again and I think I'm starting to get some relief however I'm very frustrated and overwhelmed in my attempts to get myself some help. When I stopped medication I also stopped with the psychiatrist I mentioned and I've been having a very difficult time finding someone else. I live in a rural area where there aren't a lot of treatment options. The local hospital turned me down because they're not taking new patients nor is a private doctor I tried. Another hasn't returned my calls.
Hustling around trying to get treatment is the last thing I want to be doing in my present condition. Just getting up in the morning takes most of my energy but I have to get this straightened out. While I'm not suicidal, I worry that if I continue in my current depressed state I'll start to see alcohol as a way out.
It is, as my mother would say, my own darned fault.
Around the time I stopped drinking I also went off the anti-depressant cocktail of Cymbalta/Abilify/Prozac that had kept me right for the last two years. I had my reasons. I was suffering sexual side effects, my insurance rates had gone way up, I'd had a bad experience with my psychiatrist who told me to go to Weight Watchers for my bulimia but mainly I hadn't been depressed in two years and was hoping I could stay better on my own without pills.
No such luck. Within a couple weeks of tapering off my medication I started to get seriously depressed. I had a joyless holiday season and at the moment am barely able to function.
About 5 days ago I did start taking my Prozac again and I think I'm starting to get some relief however I'm very frustrated and overwhelmed in my attempts to get myself some help. When I stopped medication I also stopped with the psychiatrist I mentioned and I've been having a very difficult time finding someone else. I live in a rural area where there aren't a lot of treatment options. The local hospital turned me down because they're not taking new patients nor is a private doctor I tried. Another hasn't returned my calls.
Hustling around trying to get treatment is the last thing I want to be doing in my present condition. Just getting up in the morning takes most of my energy but I have to get this straightened out. While I'm not suicidal, I worry that if I continue in my current depressed state I'll start to see alcohol as a way out.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
Hang in there and welcome to SR. One of the hardest things I had to learn is I was not a good judge of my emotional condition such as taking myself off of meds. I went to a Dr for a reason and so I have to trust them to do their job. I have lost friends through suicide over this very thing so I urge you to either go back to your Dr or find another one ASAP. Getting sober is emotional by itself but then couple it with mental illness issue's then we have a hell of a cluster f***.Have you been to a meeting? If you do just try to remember that if you bring this up everyone will have an opinion, and a lot of people will start their Dr routine, and unless they have their medical license all they can offer you is what I am my ESH (experience, strength,&hope). I was told if I had a toothache I went to a dentist for help not an AA/Na meeting which made a lot of sense. So hang in there and Keep the Faith. Judy M
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
hang in there..you know it worked for you before and it will work far better now without the alcohol.
It takes time as you know for anti-depressants to reach their full effect and stabilize. That was the very longest and roughest period for me..waiting for that. Take it a day at a time.
I hope you find a suitable dr asap, you are worth it.
It takes time as you know for anti-depressants to reach their full effect and stabilize. That was the very longest and roughest period for me..waiting for that. Take it a day at a time.
I hope you find a suitable dr asap, you are worth it.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
I can so relate to your post.
I suffer from chronic depression, PTSD, chronic anxiety disorder, and Bipolar. I was not on any meds when I quit drinking and it left me feeling insane and miserable. People kept saying it would get better if I just worked the program better. Fortunately, I had someone tell me their story and I realized I needed to be on medications.
I can not say it has been a joy ride as life has it's up s and downs but it is better when my disease is being treated.
I understand that you are in a small area and it is harder to find someone to treat your condition. Keep trying, don't give up. You are worth it even if there are days when you feel you are not.
Glad you found SR, I do hope you find the support, concern, and help I have found here.
I suffer from chronic depression, PTSD, chronic anxiety disorder, and Bipolar. I was not on any meds when I quit drinking and it left me feeling insane and miserable. People kept saying it would get better if I just worked the program better. Fortunately, I had someone tell me their story and I realized I needed to be on medications.
I can not say it has been a joy ride as life has it's up s and downs but it is better when my disease is being treated.
I understand that you are in a small area and it is harder to find someone to treat your condition. Keep trying, don't give up. You are worth it even if there are days when you feel you are not.
Glad you found SR, I do hope you find the support, concern, and help I have found here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
**Hang in there and welcome to SR. One of the hardest things I had to learn is I was not a good judge of my emotional condition such as taking myself off of meds. I went to a Dr for a reason and so I have to trust them to do their job. **
Newby you said it perfectly. I've learned the hard way to trust doctors.
I hope you call the doctor and tell him/her this is an emergency. Many drug companies will give you free anti-depressants if you can't afford them. Just hang on, it's tough but there is a way out.
Newby you said it perfectly. I've learned the hard way to trust doctors.
I hope you call the doctor and tell him/her this is an emergency. Many drug companies will give you free anti-depressants if you can't afford them. Just hang on, it's tough but there is a way out.
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