unholy_mess

Hello all - I'm returning from a several month hiatus from the forums. I was previously mostly in the Alcoholism and Mental Health boards, but also around here some.

I used to drink - a whole, whole lot. I then discovered weed and never really wanted to admit that it was as big a problem as it was. After all, weed "helped" me quit drinking...how could something that "cured" (ha) my alcohol addiction be so bad? Of course, I just transferred from one thing to the other and my addiction is still my addiction - just in a slightly different form.

Anyway, I'm here now because my smoking is getting (has been) totally out of control. All day, every day. I'm starting to shirk responsibilities and all of that good stuff. My lungs are in TERRIBLE condition right now - I have asthma and chronic bronchitis (the latter is no doubt due to my chronic pot smoking, the former preceded the weed). I'm having trouble getting to and staying at work because all I can think about is how I want to go home and get high (it doesn't help that we're technically still on vacation).

What I've just realized is that I can't stop. I don't know how to. I've tried deleting my dealer's number (he keeps texting me - ugh!) and it seems there's nothing left but for me to just surrender because my life is completely unmanageable.

doggonecarl

I smoked pot daily for over 10 years. Ten wasted years I can never get back. I quit, but it wasn't easy. First of all, don't pick up...the first rule for any addiction. NA can help since you recognize that you are powerless and life is unmanageable.

Key to my quitting was having NOTHING to do with my former pot-smoking contacts. ZERO! Remove them from your life and you remove a major temptation, because when someone is offering you a toke, you might turn it down once, maybe twice, but by the third time the addictive voice in your head is telling you, "Okay, but just this once..." or "You can't be rude and turn down this offer..."

Welcome and good luck.

sailorjohn

Welcome!!!

Maybe I'm missing something here, but if you really don't want to get text messages from your dealer, why not get a new phone number?

unholy_mess

Thanks for the welcome and suggestions!!

It's a little complicated for me to get a new phone number because I'm on a family plan and changing numbers would require getting my parents involved and...well, that's sticky. I just keep deleting the texts without responding and any calls that come in. I try to do it immediately so I won't be tempted later and so far, so good. But you're right, I will ultimately need to get a new number!

I actually don't have a lot (any, maybe?) of smoker friends - most of my friends who used to smoke didn't end up doing so every day and quit after college. So if I can get myself to be socially active again (without staying home to get high all the time!), that will be a pretty safe situation in which to enter.

I did have one question for those who have dealt with a weed addiction - how do you cope with suggestions that: weed's not addictive, or that it's safer than other drugs, or that it's a good "stepping down" drug from harder substances, or similar statements? I know it's addictive in some way, otherwise I'd be able to stop but hearing things like that make that little voice in my head say: "see, it's not that bad!" And that is proving to be something with which it is difficult to deal.

tsmba

Ultimately, all that stuff you hear is irrelevant noise. All that matters is how it affects you. Looking forward to a socially active life (as opposed to solitude) sounds like a version of the "geographic cure", which never works. We can change locations and living situations....but until we address the real issue...ourselves, nothing changes.

unholy_mess

Thanks, though I was actually referencing another post that advised me to get rid of all my pot-smoking friends and I guess I didn't make myself clear about that. What I was intending to say was that I don't really have a lot of pot-smoking friends to get rid of, so social situations won't be as triggering or difficult. Not that forcing myself into a social scene will somehow help me where being alone does not. But I will keep that "geographic cure" analogy in mind in case it does creep up, which it certainly could!

Thanks for the advice!

karma35

good luck ..keep up posting xx karma