thequest

Would narcissism simply be a trait or an actual disorder? If someone is all about themselves and their life should I just consider that person selfish?

nandm

I think that it would depend on how bad the narcissism is. Every has a bit of narcissism to an extent but not everyone takes it to extremes. That is when it becomes a disorder rather than a trait.

LexieCat

There's plain ol' narcissism (which is an unattractive personality trait) and there is Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is a psychiatric diagnosis.

Narcissism is also different from mere selfishness. You could be selfish without being narcissistic. Narcissism implies an inflated sense of one's own importance. You could hate yourself and be depressed and still be selfish.

thequest

Inflated sense of self importance fits this person. He made management at his last job, management-not executive, actually a high end supervisor. He considers himself an executive and his selling himself as a 'professional' manager without a 4 year degree. He tends to be the one to initiate and organize the most basic activity even among friends. An alpha dog I'd guess you'd say. He's turned down several jobs just 10k a year below what he was making because ' it's only a supervisor's job'. He always talks down to/berates people including family.

Long story short his current predictament/s have him frequently RANTING how HIS life has been messed up. Or how dare this person do this, it will mess up " my life "- a phrase he uses FREQUENTLY. With financial future, a relationship and child at stake 'HIS life' better not be 'messed up' by his live in getting a shiftwork job which will turn him into a baby sitter-while on unemployment. He's always 'the victim'. He was always 'in control' even when drinking,drugging and gambling away TENS of thousands.

He's upset that he hasn't gotten more sympathy for being unemployed-which he has expressed on many an occassion. Again he trys to commondeer and control the most basic of events-he want's people to remember what he did or his idea.

I guess this all could be a diversion for somekind of insecurity as well?

LexieCat

I suppose it could... I'm not a psychologist.

Just curious, but why do you care what this person's "diagnosis" is? Usually it's not real healthy to get all wrapped up in trying to figure out what's wrong with someone else. Unless the individual in question is your minor child, all that really matters is your own reaction to it--that's all you can control.

thequest

On one hand your are absolutely correct in that in reality I can only control my reaction to it. But I and the rest of the family are stuck with this individual and his problemS including calls from debt collectors on different/our phone numbers-tip of the iceberg.

It's not so much about getting wrapped in it but if you know what you are dealing with could help HOW you deal with it or what to expect even if more of the same. I think that's one reason many come here.