Hittman305

I am an addict (alchohol) But i believe i definitely have some sort of mental illness.. im not sure if it is bi-polar..or manic aggresive..or what. I have no insurance, and have not been to a doctor in years. ( i had to go to the hospital about a year ago, hurt myself playing football) Anyhow..it seems that drinking makes the demon in me come out. i have said, and dont horrible things. I have cigarette burns all up and down my forearms, from burning myself when drunk. When i am sober..i am not such a monster..but i do feel alot of anxiety, depression, anger..etc..but keep it bottled up.

Is there a way i can self diagnose myslef? i know its not advisible, but i have no money, no insurance for doctors. And i am not going to take any medication, as the side effects are worse. ( unless they want to prescribe me Marijuana)
what can i do? just hope things get better i guess? i am going on 3 days sober now..but i dont know how long i can last.

ranae1221

I'm not sure what state you are in, but here in AZ there are mental health clinics that will work with you on a sliding scale fee, and at times it doesn't even cost you anything (if you qualify due to low income). You are able to get the help you need to get your life back on track. Maybe there is a program like that in your state?

KarenElaine

Recently a family member had a serious mania episode. I took him to one E.R near us and got NO help and was charged almost 1400 dollars. Then I called the local crisis call line and they recommended another E.R. We went there and they charged me NOTHING, used some meds to get him to sleep, had a counselor come in and talk with him and got him into an inpatient setting which also cost us NOTHING. It's amazing. It's all in what you know and who you know to ask. Try the crisis call center in your town, look up mental illness associations, etc. There is help out there whether you can afford it or not. I'm glad my family member was open to taking meds, because it made so much difference!

Live

It sounds to me more like you can't afford NOT to get help.
Please don't settle for such a life of self-abuse and neglect
There are help clinics, I hope you will phone your crisis center.
Best wishes!

fiveyearzen

If there is a university nearby with a psych program, their grad students usually do free counseling. Also, almost every town of any size will have some type of clinic that offers free services to those who need it. Additionally, if you look around the net, there are some psychologists who will help online.

I can tell you from experience that the feelings you are describing are very common for an alcoholic when not drinking. Three days sober sounds about right for what you are describing. Read the threads in the Alcoholism section, escpecially what to expect in recovery. Alcohol affects everybody differently. I was never an angry drunk, but I knew plenty of people who were. If nothing else, find an AA program. That should be mission number one.