evmdimples

I'm starting to get disappointed with my meetings and wanted to ask: is the senior member considered the "leader", the person "in-charge" of meetings? Or is there another way that a "meeting leader" gets "elected." In the case of my meeting, it has dwindled down (due to personality conflicts) to one "senior member" (8 yrs in recovery), myself (5 mos. in recovery) and whomever else decides to attend (one or two oldtimers, and the occasional 1st timer). Since I'm fairly new, I've always considered the "senior member" to be the leader. Unfortunately, she's always late, closes the meeting late, initiates cross-talk, encourages newcomers to be late if that's what they want... and after the meeting, engages in talk about other members, and engages in fixing/analzying behavior.

:wtf2 Shouldn't a meeting leader be the one setting a good example towards recovery work even if only in the meeting environment? I can refrain from going to lunch with her, but if she leads the meetings, i'm at her mercy. Maybe I need to find another meeting. Maybe that's why everyone else has left. Am just a bit frustrated today and wanting some feedback. I also let myself get too hungry today and so the blood sugar has dropped, leading my emotions down as well. And good codie that I am, what's the first thing I think of doing (after I've eaten?) Run to my ex g/f, the one i'm working so hard to keep a healthy distance. Maybe I just need some hugs...

Astro

Yes, they should, but it doesn't always work out that way.

If this were my experience with a meeting, that's what I'd do, or maybe you can talk to the other members about starting another meeting?

Most meetings are structured different, it's up to the group conscience to decide what the format will be and how the chairpersons are elected, what length they'll serve, etc.

For example, at a weekly CoDA meeting I attend we have our chairpersons serve for one month, usually 4-5 meetings. A sign-up sheet is handed around and the beginning of the year and the only requirement to chair is one year of meetings. The format is predetermined, week one is a speaker meeting, week two is an open share, week three is a topic meeting, and the fourth week is a Step meeting. The chairperson reads the statements and preambles, crosstalk guidelines, etc. while other members read the Steps, Promises, Traditions, & Patterns. From there the group takes over, we encourage anyone to shareif they have the desire. Our meetings are pretty large, 36+ and for the most part they run pretty smoothly.

evmdimples

Wow! thanks Astro, I didn't realize how other meetings are led! My meeting has always been "loosey-goosey" at best and getting worse as membership declines. I've never heard about sign up sheets for leading, or designated meeting topics, or specific step study on different meeting dates. It appears as I move forward on my journey, I start to realize what is no longer acceptable to me, and can move towards meetings which will serve me better on my recovery path. Again, thanks for the valuable input!

evmdimples

I went to a new meeting tonight, it was like night and day from my usual meeting. These people are actually working their recovery! It was a step meeting, step 2 was being discussed. I've never been to a step meeting and turns out, it was exactly what I needed to hear tonight, from the readings to all the shares! No wonder I've been so frustrated lately... I forgot all about step two. What a difference a meeting can make. I can already feel my serenity returning! ((big sigh of relief))