Step 12: Try reading Ch 7 Working with others
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Southern Colorado
Posts: 1,167
Step 12: Try reading Ch 7 Working with others
Those rascals who wrote the big book hid a bunch of wonderful directions on how to work with others in the Big Book! Pages 89 to 103! Aren't I a smart-@$$? Beats being a dumb @$$ I guess. 
But seriously. There are clear cut directions in there and they rarely get talked about in meetings. I think back in the good old days, the new comer was taken and properly 12 stepped, did steps and then they got to attend the meetings. Sounds pretty hard core. But then I wonder what the content of their meetings were? Actual factual experience? Wow! No wonder they had the high recovery rate.
I am an analytical guy and I like to take things apart and find out what makes them tick. This is why I have a hard time with God. But I've asked many in AA about this and I believe there are two distinct things we are looking at here;
So, I've noticed some are really good at doing both and either or. Some work really well with newcomers and some work really well with long-term sobriety.
Have you ever seen someone who's got a long time sober, but not a clue how to work steps? It's hard because they think they know something and are entitled to something. They won't move and you can't teach them nothing. Unfortunately, some of them drink. We had one that did, after 20 years, he came back in teachable, and has been sober and on fire ever since.
Is this crazy or what?
Some people do a lot of service work. Some are big on the 3 legacies of AA and some just love working with new people. We used to clean ashtrays, but ... that's in the past! Coffee. My favorite person! The coffee maker. It's a great job. GSR, PI, CPC, Grapevine, archieves... it's all about carrying the message to the alcoholic. [We used to say, come see the 5% do the 98% of the work!]And the BB isn't shy to suggest that it takes a little insurance out on ourselves and separates us from that next drink just a little bit. Oh, and support your group! Go to the Group Consciences/Business Meetings! Is your group and/or meeting the best in town? If not, make it that way! Don't just sit back and 8!$ch.
Door greeter! We have a person now who's a door greeter at a Thursday Night meeting I go to. It's cool. Little stuff like this goes a long way.
In my group, we're not big on sponsorship. Unless you're new and haven't been through a set of steps. Then ask. Work with somebody. But I don't have a "sponsor". I've done 6 sets of steps in the last 5 years. I'll sponsor you if you'd like. But sponsor? Why do I need a sponsor? The group is my sponsor. In any case, I'm responsible for my own sobriety and I must do steps and eat my own spiritual food. The group will know if I'm messed up or not. They'll yank my covers, and they do!
We go to lunch on Friday. We go somewhere that the food and service is good and we have lunch together. It's sort of and excercise in "Practice these principles in all our affairs." We learn to commit, to socialize, to break bread together and be grateful.
It's better to give than to receive. I believe this crazy paradox. Here's your chance.
But seriously. There are clear cut directions in there and they rarely get talked about in meetings. I think back in the good old days, the new comer was taken and properly 12 stepped, did steps and then they got to attend the meetings. Sounds pretty hard core. But then I wonder what the content of their meetings were? Actual factual experience? Wow! No wonder they had the high recovery rate.
I am an analytical guy and I like to take things apart and find out what makes them tick. This is why I have a hard time with God. But I've asked many in AA about this and I believe there are two distinct things we are looking at here;
So, I've noticed some are really good at doing both and either or. Some work really well with newcomers and some work really well with long-term sobriety.
Have you ever seen someone who's got a long time sober, but not a clue how to work steps? It's hard because they think they know something and are entitled to something. They won't move and you can't teach them nothing. Unfortunately, some of them drink. We had one that did, after 20 years, he came back in teachable, and has been sober and on fire ever since.
Is this crazy or what?
Some people do a lot of service work. Some are big on the 3 legacies of AA and some just love working with new people. We used to clean ashtrays, but ... that's in the past! Coffee. My favorite person! The coffee maker. It's a great job. GSR, PI, CPC, Grapevine, archieves... it's all about carrying the message to the alcoholic. [We used to say, come see the 5% do the 98% of the work!]And the BB isn't shy to suggest that it takes a little insurance out on ourselves and separates us from that next drink just a little bit. Oh, and support your group! Go to the Group Consciences/Business Meetings! Is your group and/or meeting the best in town? If not, make it that way! Don't just sit back and 8!$ch.
Door greeter! We have a person now who's a door greeter at a Thursday Night meeting I go to. It's cool. Little stuff like this goes a long way.
In my group, we're not big on sponsorship. Unless you're new and haven't been through a set of steps. Then ask. Work with somebody. But I don't have a "sponsor". I've done 6 sets of steps in the last 5 years. I'll sponsor you if you'd like. But sponsor? Why do I need a sponsor? The group is my sponsor. In any case, I'm responsible for my own sobriety and I must do steps and eat my own spiritual food. The group will know if I'm messed up or not. They'll yank my covers, and they do!
We go to lunch on Friday. We go somewhere that the food and service is good and we have lunch together. It's sort of and excercise in "Practice these principles in all our affairs." We learn to commit, to socialize, to break bread together and be grateful.
It's better to give than to receive. I believe this crazy paradox. Here's your chance.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by Juneblues 
Hi Im a recovering alcoholic of 11 years...I dont know how it works on here...but really glad I found you's...
Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Southern Colorado
Posts: 1,167
"When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. If he does not want to stop drinking, don't waste time trying to persuade him."
BB page 90.
BB page 90.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
"Have you ever seen someone who's got a long time sober, but not a clue how to work steps? It's hard because they think they know something and are entitled to something. They won't move and you can't teach them nothing. Unfortunately, some of them drink. We had one that did, after 20 years, he came back in teachable, and has been sober and on fire ever since."
What baffles me sometimes is when I hear someone with time away from a drink say "I know it works, but I don't know how it works." I don't know if it comes from a place of false modesty, but there is a whole chapter called "How It works," which lays out the mechanics and the concept of how it works. "This is the how and why of it. First of all we had to quit playing God. It doesn't work." How: "Hereafter in this drama of life, God is going to be the director. He is the principal and we are the agents. He is The Father and we are His Children." Sometimes in meetings they read the first portion of Chapter Five, "How It Works." And then someone will read the short form of the traditions and begin with "This is why it works." No, the why of it is that playing God doesn't work.
It is my responsibility to know how it works. In fact, I'm rather useless in Alcoholics Anonymous if I don't know how it works.
Jim
What baffles me sometimes is when I hear someone with time away from a drink say "I know it works, but I don't know how it works." I don't know if it comes from a place of false modesty, but there is a whole chapter called "How It works," which lays out the mechanics and the concept of how it works. "This is the how and why of it. First of all we had to quit playing God. It doesn't work." How: "Hereafter in this drama of life, God is going to be the director. He is the principal and we are the agents. He is The Father and we are His Children." Sometimes in meetings they read the first portion of Chapter Five, "How It Works." And then someone will read the short form of the traditions and begin with "This is why it works." No, the why of it is that playing God doesn't work.
It is my responsibility to know how it works. In fact, I'm rather useless in Alcoholics Anonymous if I don't know how it works.
Jim
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Southern Colorado
Posts: 1,167
"Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge...Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he wants to go to any extreme to do so... If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered."
I hear you Jim. In our meeting we do all the steps and we do them yearly. About everytime we agree to do the work again, there's always a few people who are eager to get started again and some that fight it. Some get their 4th steps done early and it really encourages me to get going because these people need someone to 5th step with and that might be me. I don't like being pushed to finish a step, but I get envious and just somehow inspired to do something when I see others doing it and getting it done. Not only that, but we have something in common to share about; a recent experience. When we have people new to our group come in to check out our meetings, they love to share on whatever step we're on as they have no problem reciting a one-time experience from the past. But when they see that week in and week out, we share on all 12 steps thoughout the year and not just steps 1, 2, and 3, they don't seem to want to be on board. It's a challenging format, no doubt. I really think we all benefit from hearing other people share their successes and failures in life through these steps.
We read How It Works at every meeting, but I've been to meetings where they read out of "More about Alcoholism" and that's very powerful.
I hear you Jim. In our meeting we do all the steps and we do them yearly. About everytime we agree to do the work again, there's always a few people who are eager to get started again and some that fight it. Some get their 4th steps done early and it really encourages me to get going because these people need someone to 5th step with and that might be me. I don't like being pushed to finish a step, but I get envious and just somehow inspired to do something when I see others doing it and getting it done. Not only that, but we have something in common to share about; a recent experience. When we have people new to our group come in to check out our meetings, they love to share on whatever step we're on as they have no problem reciting a one-time experience from the past. But when they see that week in and week out, we share on all 12 steps thoughout the year and not just steps 1, 2, and 3, they don't seem to want to be on board. It's a challenging format, no doubt. I really think we all benefit from hearing other people share their successes and failures in life through these steps.
We read How It Works at every meeting, but I've been to meetings where they read out of "More about Alcoholism" and that's very powerful.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: north west
Posts: 6
Carry the message not the drunk.......Actions speak louder than words....
some drunks just want someone there and others are sincere doing things with Love is a way that most things work out not my choice but my actions speak out.......
some drunks just want someone there and others are sincere doing things with Love is a way that most things work out not my choice but my actions speak out.......
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 53
McGowdog
Maybe questions are in order;
1. The steps are simple clear instructions - where in the steps did it tell another to promote outside sponsorship inside A.A ?
2. Where in the Traditions other than asking us not to promote?
3. Where in the 164 pages of the program is even the label?
The Outside system was designed for hospitals to be responsible (sponsor)for the drunk who was drunk. When they came to some did not know where they were so a sponsor was in charge of there ward" An A.A. PROMISE is that we will intuitively be able to handle situations that use to baffle us - are these extravagant promises? For many as others claim it.
A great topic wish others would be more fearless and honest with themselves rather than always having to relive themselves by tell someone the truth "what they already done" rather than being honest at the time it was really needed true to thy self and surly without God with them. Talk about being alone geeeeeeee
Maybe questions are in order;
1. The steps are simple clear instructions - where in the steps did it tell another to promote outside sponsorship inside A.A ?
2. Where in the Traditions other than asking us not to promote?
3. Where in the 164 pages of the program is even the label?
The Outside system was designed for hospitals to be responsible (sponsor)for the drunk who was drunk. When they came to some did not know where they were so a sponsor was in charge of there ward" An A.A. PROMISE is that we will intuitively be able to handle situations that use to baffle us - are these extravagant promises? For many as others claim it.
A great topic wish others would be more fearless and honest with themselves rather than always having to relive themselves by tell someone the truth "what they already done" rather than being honest at the time it was really needed true to thy self and surly without God with them. Talk about being alone geeeeeeee
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
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McGowdog is no longer a member of SR
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You responded to an old thread.
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Welcome to SR....
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Thanks CarolD
Came upon a section somewhere in this forum that had a lot of numbers and just let go and let God and just picked one - can't seem to find the selection where it is can't the past be our greatest asset also?
Came upon a section somewhere in this forum that had a lot of numbers and just let go and let God and just picked one - can't seem to find the selection where it is can't the past be our greatest asset also?
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Cape Cod Ma.
Posts: 2
working with others
I'm in a long awaited growth spurt and it's good..I'm Big Book Steps and when the gratitude becomes fear like I have to desperately hold on to it or use others to maintain it, I become the producer of confusion with a Big Book in my hand..Like discussion of 10 11 and 12 replace the action..I no longer am giving freely to serve the man who suffers, I am preaching to save myself..I am safe in my selfishness because of the content, the information in the Book. I rely on knowledge as power to overcome my Spiritual delemma.. I can not hear the new man as I believe I know what he needs..It's crazy man but in a good way because I see it and am willing to change....
I bring sandwiches to the meetings because I needed to learn to give without the concern of who takes..Last night I went to a mens discussion meeting that would never intrested me because I've forgotten how to listen..I was quickly reminded how important it is that I do not drink..This morning with Step 11 on awakening I pray for direction to not do or say anything that would harm another because basically I don't like people..To me this is Step 10 continuing to watch for selfishness..
It all begins with me and my willingness to be honest with myself as best I can. Keep my own house in order to better serve the man..I've been at this for 30 years, some of it safe in my daily emotional security with people in the Fellowship or riding the all knowing Big Book Step sponsor wave.. Other times like this alone with the Higher Power. Either way it's the real deal for me, willingness to grow in understanding and effectiveness..
It's easy to see we are generally folks who would not mix, I can't stop there. I must remember the common bond that holds us together is bigger than me and not to be abused with my selfishness..I forget it's a daily reprieve and think I'm fixed because I've placed myself above you..
I bring sandwiches to the meetings because I needed to learn to give without the concern of who takes..Last night I went to a mens discussion meeting that would never intrested me because I've forgotten how to listen..I was quickly reminded how important it is that I do not drink..This morning with Step 11 on awakening I pray for direction to not do or say anything that would harm another because basically I don't like people..To me this is Step 10 continuing to watch for selfishness..
It all begins with me and my willingness to be honest with myself as best I can. Keep my own house in order to better serve the man..I've been at this for 30 years, some of it safe in my daily emotional security with people in the Fellowship or riding the all knowing Big Book Step sponsor wave.. Other times like this alone with the Higher Power. Either way it's the real deal for me, willingness to grow in understanding and effectiveness..
It's easy to see we are generally folks who would not mix, I can't stop there. I must remember the common bond that holds us together is bigger than me and not to be abused with my selfishness..I forget it's a daily reprieve and think I'm fixed because I've placed myself above you..
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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Originally Posted by navysteve
The sad truth is that if you want to hide something from a member of AA just put it in the Big Book, many will never find the answer.
It works-it really does.
It works-it really does.
I don't people who have a couple years, or long time sobriety that don't read the big book. There was a guy with 4 years who said he never ever read the big book, not even the doctors opinion and he relapsed. Very strange.
when i first read the big book i couldn't put it down
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
When I first read the BB, I had absolutely no idea what it meant even
though I knew what it said. It bored the crap out of me.
5 years of slip sliding away after that made me desperate enough to
ask a man to teach it to me and then the BB Came to Life for me and
saved my life.
though I knew what it said. It bored the crap out of me.
5 years of slip sliding away after that made me desperate enough to
ask a man to teach it to me and then the BB Came to Life for me and
saved my life.
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