New here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: US
Posts: 49
New here
I must admit navigating this site has proved trivial for me in some ways. 
I thought acoa was the forum for me but don't find too much going on there as far as posts go and so forth. Not entirely sure if I am looking in the right spots though.
I am so blown away by the honesty,vulnerability,courage and supportiveness of the members of this community! It's awesome and refreshing! And to be frank,a little scary. Good scary.
My main struggles are more with dealing with the afteraffects of a dysfunctional family system, and dealing with the origin of what made me so inclined to such self destructive behaviors to begin with. So, the addiction thing is under control, but then theres all that other stuff that drove me there in the first place! If this is making sense to anyone I would love to hear from you, and would not mind any support or direction you are willing to offer. Thank you so much. I think you all are amazing individuals and am so glad peolpe like you exist!
I thought acoa was the forum for me but don't find too much going on there as far as posts go and so forth. Not entirely sure if I am looking in the right spots though. I am so blown away by the honesty,vulnerability,courage and supportiveness of the members of this community! It's awesome and refreshing! And to be frank,a little scary. Good scary.
My main struggles are more with dealing with the afteraffects of a dysfunctional family system, and dealing with the origin of what made me so inclined to such self destructive behaviors to begin with. So, the addiction thing is under control, but then theres all that other stuff that drove me there in the first place! If this is making sense to anyone I would love to hear from you, and would not mind any support or direction you are willing to offer. Thank you so much. I think you all are amazing individuals and am so glad peolpe like you exist!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hey fluer, welcome to this community! There is a huge amount of experience, strength and hope here, and I agree with you: the courage that people have just floors me sometimes. Such a great place.
When you want, tell us about you. Sounds like you are in recovery for an addiction (congratulations!) and have some other junk that you've been lugging around in your psyche as a result of being a kid of alcoholics? What have you learned about yourself so far? What would you like to learn?
Hugs
GL
When you want, tell us about you. Sounds like you are in recovery for an addiction (congratulations!) and have some other junk that you've been lugging around in your psyche as a result of being a kid of alcoholics? What have you learned about yourself so far? What would you like to learn?
Hugs
GL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: US
Posts: 49
Thanks givelove. You are correct I am in recovery. I used to use alcohol,drugs,and "relationships" to cope with daily living, but have scaled it down to just caffeine and nicotene for the past 10 years.
I had one last bout with alcohol a few years back that lasted several months, it really came outta nowhere but ended up being a huge eye opener for me in the end. Looking back I wince at how awful that time was, and at the same time smile and thank my HP. It's crazy how fast and far you can fall. Anyway, I have always sought for ways to not become what all of my family members have chosen to be. After this last run I had, I really became aware of the deeper problems that have laid inside me for too many years.
True freedom from the demons that have haunted me has been quite a process. I am more free than I ever thought I could be but am still working things through and dealing with the ramifications of all thats transpired.
I now have a safe enviroment filled with safe people. My greatest obstacle is finding balance in my life. Because of my career I expend alot of energy on others. I am still dealing with my stuff every moment I can-which proves to be very exhausting. I reconize I have too much going out and not enough coming in. Until recently it just was not fathomable to reach out to others and find the support I need. I believe a new breeze is blowing. I think I can muster up the energy it takes to get out there and get connected to like minded individuals on a similiar journey.
So mutual give and take with other human beings on the planet who care deeply about themselves and others is what I need to keep on this path of healing. Surviving is awesome, but prospering is my goal! I am reclaiming what is mine and looking toward the future. I know that does not entail me being alone anymore.
I had one last bout with alcohol a few years back that lasted several months, it really came outta nowhere but ended up being a huge eye opener for me in the end. Looking back I wince at how awful that time was, and at the same time smile and thank my HP. It's crazy how fast and far you can fall. Anyway, I have always sought for ways to not become what all of my family members have chosen to be. After this last run I had, I really became aware of the deeper problems that have laid inside me for too many years.
True freedom from the demons that have haunted me has been quite a process. I am more free than I ever thought I could be but am still working things through and dealing with the ramifications of all thats transpired.
I now have a safe enviroment filled with safe people. My greatest obstacle is finding balance in my life. Because of my career I expend alot of energy on others. I am still dealing with my stuff every moment I can-which proves to be very exhausting. I reconize I have too much going out and not enough coming in. Until recently it just was not fathomable to reach out to others and find the support I need. I believe a new breeze is blowing. I think I can muster up the energy it takes to get out there and get connected to like minded individuals on a similiar journey.
So mutual give and take with other human beings on the planet who care deeply about themselves and others is what I need to keep on this path of healing. Surviving is awesome, but prospering is my goal! I am reclaiming what is mine and looking toward the future. I know that does not entail me being alone anymore.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
((((fluer))))))
Way to go. It sure is hard work, isn't it?
You speak the truth -- when I start to feel exhausted by life, I always have to stop, sit down, and see who pulled my "energy plug" (it's always ME, by the way
) I pour a lot of energy out into my life, and when I'm plugged into Life with good social support, journaling, learning, fresh air, laughter, play, etc., it's just a nice flow: energy in, energy out.
But when I start feeling like I'm trudging through molasses, I almost always discover something is plugged up, and I'm not getting any energy in, so I start draaaaggggging.
So glad you're with us! I personally get a lot of good energy from the people here, from meetings, from helping. I loved the book (audio actually) "The Joy Diet: Ten Daily Practices for a Happier Life" and use that whenever I'm feeling low too.
Take care of yourself, fluer!
Way to go. It sure is hard work, isn't it?
You speak the truth -- when I start to feel exhausted by life, I always have to stop, sit down, and see who pulled my "energy plug" (it's always ME, by the way
) I pour a lot of energy out into my life, and when I'm plugged into Life with good social support, journaling, learning, fresh air, laughter, play, etc., it's just a nice flow: energy in, energy out.But when I start feeling like I'm trudging through molasses, I almost always discover something is plugged up, and I'm not getting any energy in, so I start draaaaggggging.
So glad you're with us! I personally get a lot of good energy from the people here, from meetings, from helping. I loved the book (audio actually) "The Joy Diet: Ten Daily Practices for a Happier Life" and use that whenever I'm feeling low too.
Take care of yourself, fluer!
AKA 'grewupinabarn'
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 471
Fluer,
Welcome to SR! I found this site several months ago in a web search, and it has worked out better than other sites - not sure why but who cares!
Check out the stickies at the top, here and in other sub-forums (friends and family of alcoholics, spirituality, 12-step, ect). They can be a load of useful information.
Welcome to SR! I found this site several months ago in a web search, and it has worked out better than other sites - not sure why but who cares!
Check out the stickies at the top, here and in other sub-forums (friends and family of alcoholics, spirituality, 12-step, ect). They can be a load of useful information.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
