MandaXBear

I am a self-injurer. I was wondering if anyone else here has done any kind of self mutilation.

I am actually quite upset with myself because I didn't cut in 11 days and ruined it over a conversation with my sexual abuser... and I probably wouldn't of even had that conversation if I wasn't intoxicated.

Just curious to see if there is anyone else here who does this...

suki44883

My daughter cuts herself. Her upper arms and thighs are covered in scars.

MandaXBear

How old is she? Cutting is awful and can be extremely addictive... it's sad really. I regret the day I started... If I would have known now what it would have done to me... I would have never tried. Same with my drinking and in a way I see them as similar...

suki44883

She's 18 and has been cutting for about 4 years. I'm not sure if she still does it. No new cuts that I can see on her arms, but she wears long pants, so I'm not sure about her legs. She has never had an alcoholic beverage and does not smoke. She has severe social phobia and rarely leaves the house.

historyteach

Here's an important link that has some great information you both may find helpful.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...orksheets.html
It was put up by Done with it, one of our greeters. She's a fantastic young woman, and I'm sure when she sees this thread, she'll drop in!

Good luck to you both! :ghug

Shalom!

sugarssweetpea

I have self harmed by making injuries worse (that is how it started), then cutting & hitting myself & leaving bruises. I was intoxicated for the bruises & the cutting, but not for the making of injuries worse. I have not drank in 6 years, but sometimes still have the urges to do it. I have not acted on those urges since I stopped drinking.

TiredMama

I was a cutter. Mostly during my first years in college when my bipolar was out of control as well as my drug abuse. I cut my thighs where no one would see. One night I was out at the bar with a friend and my friend told me to look at my thigh, I was bleeding through my blue jeans. For some reason, that was one of the signs for me to GET HELP.
I agree cutting is extremely addicting, especially when you already have co-existing addictions. Plus a mental disorder. People do not believe that to be true, but I know it is.

shutterbug

i don't cut, but i've scratched and picked at my face and arms since my early teens. It's gotten worse over the years. i haven't a clue why i started or could never stop....well, i think it might have something to do with my really low self-esteem issues.

And about the time i started was after my parents divorced when my mom stopped giving a crap about me and i rarely saw her...and my dad re-married a woman with a daughter my age who both ignored me for years on end (even when i spoke directly to them with a question)....unless i was being ordered to do something or being yelled at.

And my dad's always been so self-absorbed that even tho he worked out of a shop behind our house....he might as well have worked in another state. He was never there for me emotionally or mentally. If i ever wanted to talk to him...i always had to go out to the shop and talk to him while he did whatever else it was that was more important to him. And a lot of the time, he still wasn't really paying attention to me. I remember several times when I was talking to him....and realized he'd completely tuned me out to the point where I just stopped...mid-story....waited....and then just stood up and left after he never looked up from what he was doing. He never even noticed that I left the room.

I remember also....there were a lot of times when i would just sit in my room and cry softly. Our dog, Bonnie, who was a black lab.....would come in my room, lay her head on my lap and just look up at me. She was truely my only friend. And I felt that somehow she cared about me and i would just sit and talk to her through my tears as she continued looking up at me or laying her head in my lap.

Anyway...the picking took my thoughts away from everything. It was and has always been an escape for me.

Just my 2 cents.

Hugs,
Jenna

Done_With_It

How are you doing sweetie? I used to have a bad problem with SH. As of yesterday I had 2 1/2 years of no cutting. I have revisited a couple of the other old patterns but not cutting, that was my worst one. The one I could not stop once I started.

Did you look at the links that Teach gave you?


How are you doing with the drinking? I'm sure you know, how dangerous the two of those can be together.

I had to make it a rule to never cut if I drank. I hope you can do that.
I know how hard that is to do. But mistakes can happen that we don't mean to make when we mix those too.

Did you see the Impulse Control Log?
I hope to see you back here soon... :ghug2

cinderellawkids

I scratch my legs till the bleed as nerves. ANd Ive had issues with hitting myself, anging my head. Its usually in extreme stress situations. My sisters boyfriend cuts himself, generally when fighting with his mom

13NRcrew

I was a self-mutilator, too. I did it for over 25 years. It started out innocent enough, with cutting, then I started burning too. It progressively got worse until I put myself in the burn hospital ICU. I've now got skin grafts that cover 20% of my body. I've got over 21 years of sobriety, so I can't blame it on being drunk. I don't know why or how I stopped cutting and burning myself, but it's been over 4 years now. Quite frankly, I was resigned to it eventually being the (accidental) death of me.

If I had known then what self-mutilation was going to do to me, or how bad it was going to get, I honestly don't think it would have made a bit of difference when I was younger. I simply didn't care about me when I first started. I believed I deserved what I was doing to myself. I did it all without shedding one tear.

MandaBear, I'm sorry you are having to go through this. You are definitely not alone with your struggle. But it you want to stop, you won't be alone in the recovery either.