lavendae

Hi out there.... I havent posted in a few years.... but here I am again, needing the help.

I have been quite happy on my meds for a few years now, but in the last few months, I've been having issues taking them. I wont take them one day, or even two, and then its like..."how long can i get away with NOT taking them..." Not as in will I get in trouble or not, but how long will my head let me get away with not taking them. Its a really stubborn, obstinate feeling I have when I decide to not take them. I can usually go 3 or 4 days before I start to have withdrawl symptoms, and usually I start taking them again then.Once I went a week without taking them, and nothing bad happened.

But this past weekend I tried to do that, and led to a serious blowup on my part, and feeling suicidal-- something that has not happened in years.
I eventually want to get off my meds, but I'm clearly not ready yet, and worse, I'm not in acceptance about having to take them. Intellectually I know I have to, but inside.... well, I just want to be normal. On the other hand, I'm afraid to be totally without them. I want to take them like I used to pop Vallium, Vikes, etc., in my addicition-- for instant relief. My psychiatrist has explained to me that I cant do that, that there has to be a build-up in my system of the meds in order for them to work.

So I'm throwing it out there.... anybody else having/ had these issues? Thoughts? Suggestions?

TiredMama

Which meds are you taking?

I had a similar experience with Depakote and Effexor four years ago. I was "balancing" them out myself to my liking.

lavendae

I'm on Celexa only right now, but we may be putting me on something else. I have a Psychiatry appt. on the 24th.

TiredMama

I would say if you feel suicidal again, please get to the ER asap. I messed with my meds once and was admitted for suicide attempts. I was taking the prescribed meds with some opiates and benzos on the side. That alone almost killed me.

Good luck to you

St_Kurt

It actually doesn't matter what you're on. You have the directions from your doctor right there: You must take them as prescribed in order to maintain a therapeutic dosage and get the benefit. By failing to follow directions, you might as well not take them at all.

Non-compliance is the number one reason medical treatment for mental illness fails. For some, it can be fatal.

If you're having issues with non-compliance, take it very seriously. "Being normal" has nothing to do it. For instance, I can't walk without the aid of crutches. I see people walking and running around without crutches and I'd like to do that too. I could leave my crutches home, but it's certainly not going to make me walk normally just because I did that. (In other words, it's not the crutches that make me a cripple.)

I'm glad to see you have an appointment coming up. I hope you bring up all the issues you brought up here with your doctor, because this is really important.

Good luck,
~SK

nandm

Thank you. That is an excellent example of the need for compliance and it is very true.
I learned a long time ago that "normal" means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. "Normal" to an alcoholic is insane drinking but to a person who is not an alcoholic "normal" is one glass of wine. Who's definition is correct? Neither and both at the same time. I take medications for depression, bipolar, anxiety and PTSD. It is normal for me to take medications as they are something I have to take to keep my sanity. Anyone with a mental health issue that is prescribed medication should consider themselves in the "norm" for the group of people who have mental health issues. Trying to compare our normal with a person without mental health issues is no different than the alcoholic trying to compare their "normal" drinking with the non alcoholic.

lavendae

I guess the "non-compliance" issue is my main problem. Following direction, while obviously desired, is not second nature to me. Any ideas?

Mattcake

Hi Lavendae

IMHO it all boils down to whether you want to take the Celexa or not; your doc should have input in this decision but, as some have pointed out, it's ultimately your choice. Having said that, your doc probably has reasons to prescribe the medication. I struggled with the idea of taking meds, but ultimately decided to take notice of what a specialist who cares thinks is best for me; at the same time, I've carefully researched what he prescribed.

Regarding "non-compliance" I can think of two points:
1. Antidepressants do have to be taken regularly to become effective; taking them on and off is just a waste of time, money, and leads to putting up with side effects for much longer than needed.
2. If you decide to take the meds, just stop worrying about it and pop the pill - I hate being blunt, but that's what I had to do when I finally came face to face with my Lexapro bottle. I stopped reading the horror stories on the net, and trusted my doc instead. So after dinner I just take it without thinking twice. I know lots of people who take SSRIs and most have benefitted from doing so when needed and prescribed; those who didn't benefit just tapered off. For what it's worth, Celexa doesn't have a reputation for having bad withdrawal syndrome.

Rambling here. Just be honest with your pdoc, have him monitor your progress carefully, and try to trust him.

Matt

littlebird77

I had the HARDEST time getting off of Effexor... I have been off it for three weeks now... it gets better.

Latte

I only compare myself to myself. The medicaiton I take helps with quite a few issues and it is only one med. I am so lucky that I found it and I am so thankful that it has helped me maintain my sobriety. I am such a better person today. I was in such a horrible place almost a year ago.

I wish you luck in your journey.