still_me

I wasn't sure how to word this cause all I could think of was too long. But, if you are around someone who is suffering from a mental disorder and you are trying to help them can it make your own issues come out?

I have been doing pretty good lately. I am not using or drinking and have been pretty stable on meds for awhile. A friend just recently has started having some problems. She has a version of munchhousen (sp?). She is obsessed with being deathly ill or her children being deathly ill. It has reached a point that she was even telling her child that he may have cancer and no Dr has ever said that. She has the other convinced he is almost ********. She tells him the drs say it but of course they haven't. A friend and I took her to the hospital cause she was starting self harm and because this other had gotten out of control fast. They released her that same night. 3 days later I was back with her and was up for 38 hours straight watching her in the ER until they finally put her on a 5 day hold. They since have released her and say they feel she is not a danger to herself and is doing all this for attention. Now she is obsessed with she might be bi-polar. She has grilled me about the symptoms and such and is now repeating things that I have said to her but saying it about herself now. She wants to be sick. I do know that in itself is its own sickness. I have been asked to watch her when I'm off work and on weekends so her husband can work cause they are afraid to leave her alone. She just said, in front of me, that she is loving the attention from her husband. She is at times trying to manipulate me. Even blamed me for her opening up one of her wounds cause she thought I was mad at her. She opened it purposely. Anyway, that is a brief outline. The problem I am having is I am starting to feel like I'm getting a bit out of sorts now. I have learned to pay attention to how I feel. I am noticing I am starting to bounce. It is mild but from the past I am afraid where it may end up. I am starting to have problems concentrating, getting that rapid feeling in my chest, starting to change what i'm talking about mid sentence cause something else comes to mind. I'm starting to get that intense anger that I've come to hate and I'm starting to feel anger at my friend, even though logically i know she is sick. I'm afraid that trying to help her and her family is sending me into some problems with my own mental health. I don't want to abandon her or her family. They have always been good to me and there for me. They have come to rely on me right now. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to get sick myself. It's like I get "sick" on my own enough and I sure don't want to add getting there cause of someone else. I don't think it is a coincedance.

Has anyone else felt this or read of this where you can get bad again cause of someone elses mental health? I don't know what to do. I can't just leave them hanging. My friend is in outpatient hospital care but that will end in about 7 more days.

I guess I'm getting scared I will get bad cause I'm trying to help her and them. They won't understand if I tell them I can't anymore cause it is effecting my mental health. The friend also has developed a RX drug addiction. They lean on my alot about that cause of my history with illegal drug addiction. I helped go through and tell them what drug was what and what to throw out and now they want me picking up her meds for her and her husband gives them to them. I find I'm angry about it with her cause she doesn't want to admit it is a problem and keeps saying it isn't one and gets mad at me and her husband for keeping them from her.

Can others mental issues cause mine to "blow up"? Or, am I just finding someone to blame cause I'm getting a bit out of sorts?

best

If someone is toxic, we are better to stay away from them till we learn better recovery tools. We can have a full plate of worry for others if "we" let that happen.

The better we learn how to do this...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


The less we find that others can give us a bad day.

Till such time... if a person is toxic for you, you would be wise to stay away as much as you can.

historyteach

Hi, still me;

I take it you are bipolar yourself?
If so, you know how important it is to maintain your own mental health. To do so, you have to keep to your own routines.

This stress is effecting you. So, yes, the burden this family is placing on you could definately trigger you, especially going without sleep for hours on end. And you are identifying that you are feeling problems concentrating, getting that rapid feeling in your chest, starting to change what you're talking about mid sentence cause something else comes to mind and starting to get intense anger. Those all sound like classic symptoms of oncoming mania. Have you called your doctor yet?

You need to take care of yourself first. If not, you will be no good to this family or anyone else. You are not responsible for this grown woman. So, please learn to set your boundaries. Ask your doctor or therapist for help if you can't do it yourself. They are interested in your health, and will help you develop a plan.

Best of luck to you. Let us know how you're doing.

Shalom!

barb dwyer

depending on our own Spiritual Condition - absolutely.