tryingtolive

I started seeing a psychologist 2 weeks ago for depression and anxiety. She recommended that I see a psychiatrist and try meds again. And I am going to see one in a couple days. I have been on zoloft, lexapro, paxil, and welbutrin. I didn't notice much change, if any at all. I haven't been happy or feeling normal in over 5 years.

Now I was in college and drinking to get drunk on the weekends (and sometimes a couple weeknights) while taking these meds. Could this be the reason I haven't gotten better? I am going to give them a a try without drinking anything this time. IF ANYONE HAS EXPERIENCE WITH THESE MEDS PLEASE RESPOND. Anyone try them when they were drinking and then when they stopped they worked?? Please let me know.

I really hope they work because I don't know how close I am to giving up. Growing up I really enjoyed life (dispite the fact that I was doing drugs and drinking) and was pretty popular and well liked in high school although there were a couple of tough times. My senior year everything started to change and that continued in college. Here are some of the things I have been experiencing:

-BRAIN FOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When will this go away?? It is like looking at the world through binaculars that are out of focus. Reading and writing are pretty hard
-Feeling inferior to others, like im different and can't relate
-thinking “how did what I did or said look to him or her?”
-Analyze myself and how things went in a conversation. Always thinking "why did I say that" "I must have sounded so weired.
-Feeling doesn’t leave ever completely, some days I feel fine other days I want to be alone and not see anyone
- It's like my mind is off but always running around if that makes any sense
-What used to come natural to me now seems like hard work ex. Good conversation
-Some people have said that I am weird.
-Think people are talking about me or don't really want me to be there even when I'm invited over to a friends house. Even though they say stuff like "why didn't you come over?" or "i miss you" I still think that most people don't like me or that they they will find out what is wrong with me and then not like me because how could they?
-Mood swings. Sometimes because I try to blame others for the way I feel. (I try not to do this anymore because I know that other people have nothing to do with how ****** I feel. I just wish they could understand my pain)
-I constantly think about what is wrong with me and how can I get better.
-It is hard for me to have a good interpersonal conversation because it is so hard for me to concentrate on what the other person is saying because I am being so self concious of myself.
-question who I am or who I was meant to be. I have a vision of what I would like to be and where I would like to be. I just don't see me getting there if I can't get help.

The hardest part for me is the social aspect because I am a social person and do like being around others but it is just so hard and uncomfortable that sometimes I think why bother. I do force myself to do things because I know I will just feel worse if I stay in bed away from everyone all day.

My psychologist says this all sounds like a chemical imbalance but I don't know what to think anymore.


So I want, no I NEED, to know what you all think about my situation. Can any of you relate to this? Was is alcohol that prevented the SSRI's from working?

I am pretty desperate.

ccgirl

I'm not a doctor and can't give you any advice about your symptoms, but I have hade experience with many anti-depressants. I do know that alcohol is not a good idea with them. I believe that will make you drowsy and may alter the effectiveness of the meds. Those are all good anti-depressants; some people just don't get much relief with them. There are some of the older tri-cyclic anti-depressants out there; they may work; unfortunately they have many more side effects than the newer SSRIs;

historyteach

Hi, Trying;

Alcohol is a depressant. You were taking an anti-depressant. So, yes, the alcohol did indeed nulify the effect of the anti-depressant. I have been on paxil and wellbutrin in the past. I take nothing today, but, it's been many years since I first needed it.

But, meds only go so far. It's important that we do positive things for ourselves too. Meds get us stabilized so that we can learn to cope more effectively.

We need to care for ourselves physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Everyday if we want to feel well. We have to eat right and exercise; do yoga and self affirmations; learn new things and renew our contact with our G*D of our understanding and/or meditate. By doing this things we are living a full life; one that will feel "normal." (Whatever that is, lol!)

While it's true that some people need to be on medication for the rest of their lives, many do not. Sometimes, we need that hand up to get us back to where we belong. Living life on life's terms.

As far as those things you are experiencing, many on the alcohol forums would relate to them. Are you an alcoholic? Only you can decide. But, if you are or not, you need to realize that drinking will really interfer with becoming mentally healthy.

I look forward to getting to know you as we both work on our recovery.

Shalom!

Bozo

Hang in there and take it slooooowwwwww....

You got a lot going on and finding answers will take time. Remember that life is a journey and we encounter all sorts of people and situations that bring different responses out of our emotional selves.

For now, why dont you just spend a couple of days focusing on the good things you like about yourself, and nip away at the other things that bring you discomfort.

We all have strengths, weaknesses, etc., etc, just do what you can and leave the rest up to a Higher Power.

Good luck with the Pdoc, and yes, no booze with the medicine. Mike

ccgirl

Trying, how are you this morning?

tryingtolive

Im tired. I just got back from a meeting with my acedemic advisor about graduation. I was up pretty late last night. I always seem to be tired during the day but then when its time to go to sleep I can't because I have to many thoughts keeping me up. Maybe its part of anxiety, who knows?

anyway im gonna take a nap right now and try to head to the gym later. Gotta get in shape for the summer!

ccgirl

Trying, that's how I get too. Could sleep all day and up all night. If at all possible, maybe try to skip the nap, force yourself; also don't exercise too close to bedtime as that can be countnerproductive.

You take care.