lilymae

i didnt exactly know where to post i have many differnt issues i could posted just about anywhere im manic -depressive bipolar or they tell me and i have adhd ,im addicted to vicodin and well any kind of pain pills or m,uscle relaxers or sleeping pills i can get and alcohol , i am related to a drug addict well a few i have insomnia and an anxiety disorder as well as an eating disorder ive tried to kill my self numerous times each time being stopped by either my concious or a family memeber and being takin to a hospital for a while it all seemed to get better and then poof all that i had accomplished was gone all that hard work for nothin i was cutting and using again and thats where i am today im not in recovery i dont know if i ever have been or ever will be i wish i could stop this i find my self wanting to hurt those i love most physically and i fear i am already doing it emotionally even though thats the last thing i want . i know my family feels responsible for this but they arent i wish they could understand that i couldnt make them understand that mabye someone else will i hope they know how much i love them i think they do and i hope they know that i know they love me oh lord they dont deserve this not at all !

Wolfstarr

Hi ((((lilymae))))

Dear heart, your post could have been written by my daughter. I am here to tell you to never give up. Your family loves you and they are hurting because you are hurting. The things that you learned when you were better are still there within you, you haven't lost that!
My daughter was as you describe yourself, almost word for word. She attempted ending her life several times, once very close to being successful.
Our family worried and fretted over her every move. Her drug use, her addiction to Vicodin, Soma, anything she could get her hands on.
Heroin and Cocaine.
This young lady is battling her addiction and is succeeding!
lilymae, she had all the feelings you described, too.
She got help. I urge you to do the same. Please, I know it's tough, but you can and will get better...she pulled herself out of the hole she was in and is now supporting her daughter, working and going to school.
The whole things boils down to this...believe in yourself.
You have my total support, dear heart. I know you can and will get better.

Now is the time...get yourself some help, and then you can help yourself.
This would be the greatest gift you could give your family, and you.

You are worthy. You are loved.
See your Dr. as soon as you can...and start your recovery.

Love and Light,
Wolfstarr