Social anxiety, social situations and alcohol
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 86
Social anxiety, social situations and alcohol
I noticed that surpisingly little has been said about social anxiety and shyness. I know that one of the biggest fears of giving-up alcohol is the fear of how you'd cope with social situations, particularly the high-stress ones.
If social situations are a source of stress, really take the time to think about what alcohol does for you, does it help you to;
Can you put your finger on what makes social situations uncomfortable for you?
There may also be non-fear-related reasons why you might drink too much in social situations not covered in the bullets. You know that sense of 'feeling lonely in a crowd', that sense that people don't know the real you. This is a problem I've had and that no doubt is a big driver for some people to drink too much. How can we feel less alone in a crowd? How can we get a better sense of intimacy and sense of closeness?
This is really two topics in one thread, though I think anything that's serious at helping us conquer addiction should be asking these types of questions.
If social situations are a source of stress, really take the time to think about what alcohol does for you, does it help you to;
- overcome mind going blank
- let go of the thought that people are looking at you
- to think more positively about what people are thinking of you
- reduce the anxiety and symptoms such as blushing, nervous facial expressions, shaking, or any other thing you feel people might notice
Can you put your finger on what makes social situations uncomfortable for you?
There may also be non-fear-related reasons why you might drink too much in social situations not covered in the bullets. You know that sense of 'feeling lonely in a crowd', that sense that people don't know the real you. This is a problem I've had and that no doubt is a big driver for some people to drink too much. How can we feel less alone in a crowd? How can we get a better sense of intimacy and sense of closeness?
This is really two topics in one thread, though I think anything that's serious at helping us conquer addiction should be asking these types of questions.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Cypress
Posts: 56
I don't really know what it is that makes me anxious. I think that I get nervous people won't like me. I'm also really introverted, so it takes a lot of energy for me to socialize with people. Alcohol gives me that energy. It makes me really talkative and hyper. I will literally say anything when I drink- no filter. It sucks. I think, rationally, people probably like me better not drinking, but I feel way more confidant meeting new people when I drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 86
It's interesting the 'filter' part. I'm very well aware of the problem of being 'quiet' in social situations because we think 'hmm, can't say that, they'll think it's boring, too naiive, too obvious, they'll laugh'. Has this been a problem for you and a reasons you've found some social situations difficult without alcohol?
There are lots of reasons for being quiet in social situations, this being one of them. The thing is, whilst you're quiet, you're worried about what people might be thinking (e.g. why isn't this guy talking to anyone, I must be the quietest person here). This can bring-up thoughts that people are looking at you, and hence a desire to drink more to help you loose yourself.
There are lots of reasons for being quiet in social situations, this being one of them. The thing is, whilst you're quiet, you're worried about what people might be thinking (e.g. why isn't this guy talking to anyone, I must be the quietest person here). This can bring-up thoughts that people are looking at you, and hence a desire to drink more to help you loose yourself.
Just a nerd
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 79
I've had severe social anxiety my whole life. I actually remember having it in the first grade, so my roots are pretty deep underground.
(To answer the first bullet point, I've been searching for what actually makes me tic, and it seems to be elusive even to me, and changes all the time.)
The troubling part about alcohol practically working like a magic pill on social anxiety and shyness is that, at the root of it, anxiety was once a survival mechanism. In primitive times, we relied on that fight-or-flight response to flee from dangerous situations. Alcohol is so invasive that it actually gives us shy folk the false confidence to finally 'be ourselves', although it's a temporary chemical reaction. That's the same 'confidence' that allows drunk people to accidentally drive off the road. Spin it that way, and you'll see that it's really a curse to drink in the face of anxiety, not a blessing to be drunk and temporarily immune to it.
Nowadays, the fear and adrenaline that once made us more likely to survive serves almost no purpose; even the scariest modern-world problems are usually beyond our control. However, when your brain chemistry is as out of control as mine is, it's easier to get 'false alarm' reactions (such as in social situations).
If it makes you feel anymore at ease, though, everyone (aside from psychopaths) have some degree of social anxiety. It's that alarm in your brain that goes off when you think about telling your boss what you really think of them, or that impulse you might have to end a meaningful relationship over something small. Anxiety is a gift, really, once you learn how to harness and appreciate it.
Call me a hypocrite, though, because I still struggle with it.
I also believe severe types of anxiety are usually caused by very real chemical imbalances that most doctors either can't or won't deal with outside of pharmaceuticals, but that's a topic for another day.
(To answer the first bullet point, I've been searching for what actually makes me tic, and it seems to be elusive even to me, and changes all the time.)
The troubling part about alcohol practically working like a magic pill on social anxiety and shyness is that, at the root of it, anxiety was once a survival mechanism. In primitive times, we relied on that fight-or-flight response to flee from dangerous situations. Alcohol is so invasive that it actually gives us shy folk the false confidence to finally 'be ourselves', although it's a temporary chemical reaction. That's the same 'confidence' that allows drunk people to accidentally drive off the road. Spin it that way, and you'll see that it's really a curse to drink in the face of anxiety, not a blessing to be drunk and temporarily immune to it.
Nowadays, the fear and adrenaline that once made us more likely to survive serves almost no purpose; even the scariest modern-world problems are usually beyond our control. However, when your brain chemistry is as out of control as mine is, it's easier to get 'false alarm' reactions (such as in social situations).
If it makes you feel anymore at ease, though, everyone (aside from psychopaths) have some degree of social anxiety. It's that alarm in your brain that goes off when you think about telling your boss what you really think of them, or that impulse you might have to end a meaningful relationship over something small. Anxiety is a gift, really, once you learn how to harness and appreciate it.
Call me a hypocrite, though, because I still struggle with it.
I also believe severe types of anxiety are usually caused by very real chemical imbalances that most doctors either can't or won't deal with outside of pharmaceuticals, but that's a topic for another day.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
