Drinking to help anxiety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1
Drinking to help anxiety
Im 21 years old and I suffer from severe depression and anxiety I drink heavy at the weekend I feel like I can never stop drinking because I need alcohol to be myself.
When im sober in social situations I get very nervous and shy and almost afraid to talk but if I was drunk I feel relaxed and calm and in control.
The day after drinking my anxiety will be 100 times worse it gets so bad sometimes I feel like im going to have a heart attack.
I dont want to drink but I feel like I cant do anything in life without alcohol I cant be myself or be the person people think I am when im drunk its like im stuck in this vicious cycle.
Is this a sign of alcoholism?
When im sober in social situations I get very nervous and shy and almost afraid to talk but if I was drunk I feel relaxed and calm and in control.
The day after drinking my anxiety will be 100 times worse it gets so bad sometimes I feel like im going to have a heart attack.
I dont want to drink but I feel like I cant do anything in life without alcohol I cant be myself or be the person people think I am when im drunk its like im stuck in this vicious cycle.
Is this a sign of alcoholism?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
Hi and Welcome,
Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic. If alcohol is causing problems in your life, then stopping could be a very good thing. It's important to know that alcohol is a depressant. And, as you have noticed, drinking increases anxiety. I also have anxiety and depression and I began drinking to self-medicate and get through life. That was a huge mistake. All it did was add another big problem to my life. And, I still had anxiety and depression.
There are healthy ways to deal with anxiety without alcohol or medication that you might want to try. Simple breathing techniques can be learned to help you manage. I used two books that helped me a lot:
From Panic to Power by Lucinda Bassett
When Panic Attacks by David Burns MD
Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic. If alcohol is causing problems in your life, then stopping could be a very good thing. It's important to know that alcohol is a depressant. And, as you have noticed, drinking increases anxiety. I also have anxiety and depression and I began drinking to self-medicate and get through life. That was a huge mistake. All it did was add another big problem to my life. And, I still had anxiety and depression.
There are healthy ways to deal with anxiety without alcohol or medication that you might want to try. Simple breathing techniques can be learned to help you manage. I used two books that helped me a lot:
From Panic to Power by Lucinda Bassett
When Panic Attacks by David Burns MD
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
You may want to consult a doctor or other professional about the anxiety.
I have it and depression and am doing well with a medication. I felt at one point as you describe and self medicated with alcohol. I was not dealing with it so much as blotting it out as it comes right back worse. I then had my life become unmanageable.
Now I am doing ok after a little over a month sober. I also am seeing therapists and a doctor to help.
Everyone is different so what is good for one may be different from another.
One thing I can say is that quitting alcohol was the first thing I had to do.
I have it and depression and am doing well with a medication. I felt at one point as you describe and self medicated with alcohol. I was not dealing with it so much as blotting it out as it comes right back worse. I then had my life become unmanageable.
Now I am doing ok after a little over a month sober. I also am seeing therapists and a doctor to help.
Everyone is different so what is good for one may be different from another.
One thing I can say is that quitting alcohol was the first thing I had to do.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I also drank to medicate anxiety and depression, and it just made those things worse. 
Especially the anxiety. It was a thousand times worse the day after drinking. The withdrawal anxiety was horrible.
After I'd been sober a few months, the anxiety got a lot better.
Especially the anxiety. It was a thousand times worse the day after drinking. The withdrawal anxiety was horrible. After I'd been sober a few months, the anxiety got a lot better.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Unfortunately drinking to mitigate anxiety will only end up making it worse - you'll not only have the pre-existing anxiety but also craving based (and after a while withdrawal based) anxiety as well
if you need help with anxiety I really do recommend seeing your Dr/therapist.
D
if you need help with anxiety I really do recommend seeing your Dr/therapist.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Back in the USA
Posts: 2,661
Been there Silent,
Anxiety withdrawals are horrible! It's been two months of sobriety for me now and I'm not surprised that the anxiety and depression have all but vanished!
Stopping the drink was the best thing I've done in years!
Intro!
Anxiety withdrawals are horrible! It's been two months of sobriety for me now and I'm not surprised that the anxiety and depression have all but vanished!
Stopping the drink was the best thing I've done in years!
Intro!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 106
I don't know if it's alcoholism for you. But I used alcohol for 17+ years because I was "anxious". Anxious and depressed. What I know is that I used alcohol to check out of my emotions. I know now that really wasn't a solution. My solution caused a HUGE problem in my life and let me continue living checked out and disconnected for so long. Too long. My solution didn't work and ultimately I allowed my solution to rob me of many many years. As much as it sounds like a crapy idea, I suggest you find a solution that is sustainable... which might mean getting to the root of your emotional struggles. Not fun, but your future self might really thank you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: DFW area, Texas
Posts: 521
I did the same for years; getting on some antidepressant medication (also works for anxiety) has really helped. Even this last relapse I had was a lot more manageable because my underlying anxiety/depression was better controlled. As I've traveled this journey I've discovered so many people use alcohol to self-medicate feelings / fears / discomfort away. I guess for some that is "doable" but for me it wasn't! Hang in there! 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 8
I am the same as you, I drink to curb social anxiety. I started 3 years ago when I started college and have now decided I want to be sober forever.
You say you're being yourself when you drink but you're really not. You're being the person you want people to think you are. But they see through it trust me...they may not know you're drunk but they know you're not being yourself. All my friendships and relationships that I was so happy I finally had all failed because of alcohol. Think about it, once you make a friend under the influence you're going to have to drink every time you see them, sometimes for hours. And it's going to make you sick. It's going to make your depression and anxiety worse and give you health problems. I now have neurological problems like vertigo and migraines because of it. Constant fatigue and battling hangovers and withdrawals...all while trying to keep up the illusion that I'm a relaxed person. You're right, it's a viscous cycle. But you need to stop , you're not helping social anxiety , in fact if you're like me you're actually embarrassing yourself and and doing and saying stupid things thinking you sound normal because your inhibitions are gone and your true emotions are dulled. Your social skills will get worse and worse in fact.
Please stop drinking. I am going through the same thing. On Wednesday I have a lab class where I have to interact heavily with 4 people but I'm going to do it sober and it's going to be torture. I am suffering too and you can always message me whenever you want if you want to talk!
You say you're being yourself when you drink but you're really not. You're being the person you want people to think you are. But they see through it trust me...they may not know you're drunk but they know you're not being yourself. All my friendships and relationships that I was so happy I finally had all failed because of alcohol. Think about it, once you make a friend under the influence you're going to have to drink every time you see them, sometimes for hours. And it's going to make you sick. It's going to make your depression and anxiety worse and give you health problems. I now have neurological problems like vertigo and migraines because of it. Constant fatigue and battling hangovers and withdrawals...all while trying to keep up the illusion that I'm a relaxed person. You're right, it's a viscous cycle. But you need to stop , you're not helping social anxiety , in fact if you're like me you're actually embarrassing yourself and and doing and saying stupid things thinking you sound normal because your inhibitions are gone and your true emotions are dulled. Your social skills will get worse and worse in fact.
Please stop drinking. I am going through the same thing. On Wednesday I have a lab class where I have to interact heavily with 4 people but I'm going to do it sober and it's going to be torture. I am suffering too and you can always message me whenever you want if you want to talk!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 38
hi I cant tell you enough how much you are putting the fire out with a 5 litre drum of fuel...BUT like you it made me feel so good at the time I felt like my old self
ive been there panic attacks and anxiety for days after so what did I do DRINK to cure it but its the alcohol causing the problem in the first place
IF and only IF you could put up without a drop of alcohol you will have two weeks of hell headaches and anxiety symptoms making you feel like your ill when theres nothing wrong with you your body will chuck the kitchen sink of anxiety symptoms at you to grab that beautiful cold beer
then there will be a day you wake up and everything will seem so calm nothing will bother you etc
however don't do 3 weeks and think I feel great ill have a beer it needs longer to resolve
ive been there panic attacks and anxiety for days after so what did I do DRINK to cure it but its the alcohol causing the problem in the first place
IF and only IF you could put up without a drop of alcohol you will have two weeks of hell headaches and anxiety symptoms making you feel like your ill when theres nothing wrong with you your body will chuck the kitchen sink of anxiety symptoms at you to grab that beautiful cold beer
then there will be a day you wake up and everything will seem so calm nothing will bother you etc
however don't do 3 weeks and think I feel great ill have a beer it needs longer to resolve
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Manchester
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by ohwell321 
hi I cant tell you enough how much you are putting the fire out with a 5 litre drum of fuel...BUT like you it made me feel so good at the time I felt like my old self
ive been there panic attacks and anxiety for days after so what did I do DRINK to cure it but its the alcohol causing the problem in the first place
IF and only IF you could put up without a drop of alcohol you will have two weeks of hell headaches and anxiety symptoms making you feel like your ill when theres nothing wrong with you your body will chuck the kitchen sink of anxiety symptoms at you to grab that beautiful cold beer
then there will be a day you wake up and everything will seem so calm nothing will bother you etc
however don't do 3 weeks and think I feel great ill have a beer it needs longer to resolve
ive been there panic attacks and anxiety for days after so what did I do DRINK to cure it but its the alcohol causing the problem in the first place
IF and only IF you could put up without a drop of alcohol you will have two weeks of hell headaches and anxiety symptoms making you feel like your ill when theres nothing wrong with you your body will chuck the kitchen sink of anxiety symptoms at you to grab that beautiful cold beer
then there will be a day you wake up and everything will seem so calm nothing will bother you etc
however don't do 3 weeks and think I feel great ill have a beer it needs longer to resolve
It's just the anxiety and depression that's making me not want to do a month or two sober. As I tried it in Jan for three weeks and it was hell on earth. I had to drink to get rid of the anxiety that night.
I'm wondering after a while does the anxiety/depression stop, and you could go back to being a social drinker if you could stick to it.
Or (which is what im dreading) does every time I have a few beers now will I get this anxiety and depression for the rest of my life and abstinence is the only solution?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Manchester11
Curious post, as I'm going through similar thoughts. I have come to the conclusion that I can't be an alcoholic. I can stop when I want and don't need to drink. I've enjoyed my weekend binges and drunk on a work night but have over the last year cut right down to the point where What I want to go back to is just socially on a Friday night for example and I know I can do this.
It's just the anxiety and depression that's making me not want to do a month or two sober. As I tried it in Jan for three weeks and it was hell on earth. I had to drink to get rid of the anxiety that night.
I'm wondering after a while does the anxiety/depression stop, and you could go back to being a social drinker if you could stick to it.
Or (which is what im dreading) does every time I have a few beers now will I get this anxiety and depression for the rest of my life and abstinence is the only solution?
It's just the anxiety and depression that's making me not want to do a month or two sober. As I tried it in Jan for three weeks and it was hell on earth. I had to drink to get rid of the anxiety that night.
I'm wondering after a while does the anxiety/depression stop, and you could go back to being a social drinker if you could stick to it.
Or (which is what im dreading) does every time I have a few beers now will I get this anxiety and depression for the rest of my life and abstinence is the only solution?
so what im saying is a good 4 months of the beer and a moderate return should be ok
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Manchester
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by ohwell321
I believe there is a healing process yes mate, I went 4 weeks sober last time and when I went out for a drink and didn't feel to bad after however I started overdoing it again single lad to much money too much time and it all came back with a vengeanve
so what im saying is a good 4 months of the beer and a moderate return should be ok
so what im saying is a good 4 months of the beer and a moderate return should be ok
Will give an update how it goes...
Suppose its like everything now.. If you have been drinking loads for a good number of years you only need to go mad a few more times and it will come back. Moderation is better than nothing if it keep the anxiety/depression away and you can stick to moderation.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 166
You described me exactly. Socially introverted and massive anxiety attacks. The alcohol will make them worse and worse until guess what, you will actually have a heart attack. Horrible but true.
Regarding being the shy retiring type, for me I just learned to embrace it. That may come with age as I'm 12 years older than you but I remember when I was 21, drinking everyday, knew everyone in all the bars in the city, had loads of "friends" and was known as a really confident, fun and outgoing guy. It was all a facade and underneath I was a mess. I like who I am now, my pursuits often involve me spending time alone and the people I do spend time with actually have something interesting to say rather than "Hey, let's get wasted and do some shots" I was as guilty of that as they were but a life without alcohol can be interesting, anxiety free and healthy.
I think from day one you know if you can moderate or not. In my opinion it can't be learned, if you have been a heavy drinker then shifting to moderation is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I tried to moderate for 10 years straight and trust me (despite the seemingly obvious...my problem with alcohol) I have extremely strong will power in every other area of my life. Each to their own and you can't judge someone elses level of strength but alcohol statistically kicks the asses of the 99% of people that try to fight its hold. Better to just avoid the fight all together.
Regarding being the shy retiring type, for me I just learned to embrace it. That may come with age as I'm 12 years older than you but I remember when I was 21, drinking everyday, knew everyone in all the bars in the city, had loads of "friends" and was known as a really confident, fun and outgoing guy. It was all a facade and underneath I was a mess. I like who I am now, my pursuits often involve me spending time alone and the people I do spend time with actually have something interesting to say rather than "Hey, let's get wasted and do some shots" I was as guilty of that as they were but a life without alcohol can be interesting, anxiety free and healthy.
I think from day one you know if you can moderate or not. In my opinion it can't be learned, if you have been a heavy drinker then shifting to moderation is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I tried to moderate for 10 years straight and trust me (despite the seemingly obvious...my problem with alcohol) I have extremely strong will power in every other area of my life. Each to their own and you can't judge someone elses level of strength but alcohol statistically kicks the asses of the 99% of people that try to fight its hold. Better to just avoid the fight all together.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 38
there is no link between an anxiety attack and a heart attack an anxiety attack is your bodies defence mechanism saying lets get the **** out of here however there is no threat your just watching the television it is not designed to kill you
you are your own threat your over creative mind backfiring on you then you get stuck in the vicous circle of believing your ill due to anxiety symptoms
theres millions of things one can die from your hearts a strong tool I know of 99 people who who have bellies like a dumper truck sweat when they go up the stairs etc etc and there all still here years after I used to think to myself how the hell is he still going....not that I want anyone to be ill lol
you are your own threat your over creative mind backfiring on you then you get stuck in the vicous circle of believing your ill due to anxiety symptoms
theres millions of things one can die from your hearts a strong tool I know of 99 people who who have bellies like a dumper truck sweat when they go up the stairs etc etc and there all still here years after I used to think to myself how the hell is he still going....not that I want anyone to be ill lol
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 166
Just for the record I wasn't saying there is a link between anxiety attacks and heart attacks I was saying prolonged alcohol abuse used to deal with things such as anxiety attacks can lead to heart attacks along with a lot of other things besides. The Guns 'n' Roses bassist Duff McKagen used to drink bottles of vodka daily because it was the only thing that temporarily calmed his anxiety. His Pancreas eventually exploded and he nearly died.
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