BackToSquareOne

I was talking to a neighbor today who wants to quit drinking, he brought up the point that all the people he drank with in his younger days grew out of it or just drink in moderation now. He's in his early 50's, I'm 57 and if I think about it all my friends from the old days that I still keep in touch with either grew out of it or just drink normally now. I was the only one who went on to full blown alcoholism.

From the very start whenever we went out to bars I was the only one who had to buy an extra 2 six packs to take home, I kind of think this was an early warning sign. I started on the hard stuff at 18 when I could drive over to New Jersey and buy it legally. I wonder what the X-Factor is, why most grow out of it but some don't.

NestWasEmpty

That's a good question ! I used to say for years it's not fair , why can't I have just 1-2 and stop ?? Or go out once or twice a month , Ops I did that until I started drinking everyday & couldn't stop
It's a short circuit ??

JeffreyAK

I don't know. Some people get cancer, some don't, too. Some of it is genetic, probably most of it is our upbringing and how we learn to deal (or not deal) with emotional situations. It just is what it is.

silentrun

My husband was the type that grew out of it. As a teenager and in his early 20s he drank excessively and did hard drugs with his crowd. He was all done with it by the time I started dating him at 27. He said most of his friends outgrew it too. There are a couple that are currently off the deep end but nearly all of them have quit. I mentioned to him that those who are still alive and quit all have religious pictures for their FB. I suspect those people had to go into recovery.

I didn't drink when I was younger, only tried drugs a couple of times, never tried cocaine or anything on that level and I am the one that turns up with a problem. Who knew a person could lose their **** the way I did starting out having 3 drinks after work every night?

BackToSquareOne

The closest thing I can find to an "X - Factor" is that the person decides that they want to quit more than they want to drink. Could it be that some reach this insight at a fairly young age and it takes others a lot longer? I don't really know.

tomsteve

"wonder what the X-Factor is, why most grow out of it but some don't."

IMO the answer is pretty simple:
Not everyone is an alcoholic.
I am.

IOAA2

Hi.
I’ve always been compulsive to this day. A couple potato chips, a small scoop of ice cream etc? why bother. I don’t know when my allergy, addiction to alcohol started but in looking back I see a lot of sign posts but I didn’t know what I didn’t know, and if I did probably would have gone into the rationally thinking process.

BE WELL

zjw

my wife outgrew it. at one time when it came to vodka she could out drink me like nothing. i'd be puking by 9 shots and she'd be laughing and still going at 12 shots i'd be down for the count however. But she moved on and i never did till much later when I had to quit because there was no other option moderation wasnt gonna work for me.

2ndhandrose

Some of my old friends "outgrew" it and some of us didn't.

For the ones that outgrew it, their lifestyles were changing and that kind of drinking didn't fit in any longer so they stopped drinking to access.

For the ones who didn't outgrow it, well, we were alcoholics so we adjusted our lifestyles in order to accommodate our continuing drinking to access.

Crossfitdad

I outgrew it because I just couldn't do it anymore. 5 beers and I was hungover. I got tired of feeling that way. I have friends that can still go nuts and drink and drink. Sometimes I will overdo it, but it's nothing compared to when I was 21. Jeez we could put crazy amounts away.

silentrun

He says things like "it got old" or "I got sick of hanging around drunks". The difference is that he can drink if he wants and not have cravings kick in. I am to the point that I can say all the same things he can, that is to say I can look at it rationally now. If I drink though the cravings will at some point kick in again and I will lose control. I wasn't always that way for me. Something changed in my brain from regular dangerous drinking patterns.

2ndhandrose

Just wanted to correct my "access" to "excess"!!!!

Posting too early in the morning

PurpleKnight

I think this gets to the essence of why alcoholism or any addiction is not simply a choice or decision to drink, there's more too it, whether genetics, mental makeup , it's a real condition that needs real resources to deal with.

For me I knew things were a tad more serious than something I'll grow out of, when I was still drinking at 2am most weeknights and had work to get up for the next morning!!

BackToSquareOne

You know Purpleknight, the question of choice, free will and all of that when applied to addictions does seem to get a little more complicated than the old "Just Say No" advice. When in deep addiction the deck gets stacked to push you in the direction of giving in to the addiction. Free will might still be there but addictions have a power all their own.

BackToSquareOne

The words of this old song seem to apply to so many alcoholics I have known. Kind of sad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ATNElWL8G4

dswa

I quit when I was 29. I promised myself I would before I turned 30, and a bad night's bender was the moment. Even though it would have been nicer had I quit earlier, quitting at the age I did made it psychologically easier since I didn't have so many drinking buddies, nor did I have the sexual association with girls, the night, and drink. I didn't feel like I was missing out.

Rio97

I echo what tomsteve said. I never grew out of it because I'm an alcoholic. Believe me, if it were only as simple as growing out of it for us. I've been waiting to "grow out of it" for years.

It's good that I get these reminders, lest I "forget". My mind will always try to convince me otherwise.