Can i read my moral inventory to my husband
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
No. He can't be impartial. He's emotionally invested in a relationship with you.
Try to find someone here who will listen to it over skype if you need to. Or find a priest or minister who has listened to inventories before and knows how to handle them.
You really shouldn't be doing the three inventories on your own. As much as I commend you for trying to work the steps with the big book, it'd help you a lot if you had someone giving you instructions who has already done the steps and has had a spiritual awakening.
There are a lot of strong recovered folks on this forum. Perhaps you could ask one whose posts you get a lot of to help take you through the steps long distance.
Try to find someone here who will listen to it over skype if you need to. Or find a priest or minister who has listened to inventories before and knows how to handle them.
You really shouldn't be doing the three inventories on your own. As much as I commend you for trying to work the steps with the big book, it'd help you a lot if you had someone giving you instructions who has already done the steps and has had a spiritual awakening.
There are a lot of strong recovered folks on this forum. Perhaps you could ask one whose posts you get a lot of to help take you through the steps long distance.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
step 2 challenges us to choose if God's everything or nothing. Taking that a notch further into 3 we're asked to decide whether we're going to go on continuing to play God or if we're ready to let go of that job. We're further tasked with living our life in connection with that God - looking to God for direction, inspiration or an intuitive thought.
In my experience, I've come up with a LOT of ideas I thought were really interesting, new, good, bad, etc. Living a spiritual life though, the next step is to take those ideas into prayer and/or meditation. "The answers come" the book guarantees, if I'll submit to the process. Many times the answer I get in prayer doesn't match up with what my ego or my intellect wants to hear and in those cases, you could have bet a fortune I would have gone on what I call "a recruitment drive" to enlist support from others to validate my original idea that prayer revealed was bad (or vice-versa). I'm not saying that's what you're doing Mummy but it may be wise to take a look at it.
Another thing I'd consider were I in your shoes would be my motives for sharing with my spouse - an idea that I really like, in all honesty. Having seen how a pack of lies and secrets from my spouse has worked, I'd wager a dose of honesty and sincere openness to be a good thing. On the other hand, I can see me wanting to share in the hopes that I'd impress my spouse with all my hard work.....all my willingness to look at my failings. The purpose of the 4th and 5th step is to seek AND BE FREE FROM those things that are blocking me from conscious contact with God. Who I share inventory with is based upon whether the experience will help either of us or hopefully both of us strengthen our relationship with God and to begin to be free of our false egoic self.
If your hubby is the right man for the job, all you have to do is check with God. If he was a choice because of some ulterior motive, that too will be revealed.
I get a kick out of the ppl who say "absolutely YES" or "NO, never." For the people I sponsor, the job I have is to direct my guys to God. It's God who supplies the advice and the answers they need, not for me to play God (only now playing God in AA) and be their director.
In my experience, I've come up with a LOT of ideas I thought were really interesting, new, good, bad, etc. Living a spiritual life though, the next step is to take those ideas into prayer and/or meditation. "The answers come" the book guarantees, if I'll submit to the process. Many times the answer I get in prayer doesn't match up with what my ego or my intellect wants to hear and in those cases, you could have bet a fortune I would have gone on what I call "a recruitment drive" to enlist support from others to validate my original idea that prayer revealed was bad (or vice-versa). I'm not saying that's what you're doing Mummy but it may be wise to take a look at it.
Another thing I'd consider were I in your shoes would be my motives for sharing with my spouse - an idea that I really like, in all honesty. Having seen how a pack of lies and secrets from my spouse has worked, I'd wager a dose of honesty and sincere openness to be a good thing. On the other hand, I can see me wanting to share in the hopes that I'd impress my spouse with all my hard work.....all my willingness to look at my failings. The purpose of the 4th and 5th step is to seek AND BE FREE FROM those things that are blocking me from conscious contact with God. Who I share inventory with is based upon whether the experience will help either of us or hopefully both of us strengthen our relationship with God and to begin to be free of our false egoic self.
If your hubby is the right man for the job, all you have to do is check with God. If he was a choice because of some ulterior motive, that too will be revealed.
I get a kick out of the ppl who say "absolutely YES" or "NO, never." For the people I sponsor, the job I have is to direct my guys to God. It's God who supplies the advice and the answers they need, not for me to play God (only now playing God in AA) and be their director.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 89
Others have shared great thoughts on the yeah and nay of this, in the end you have to listen to your own intuition and get a feel for what would really be the right thing for you in your life.
Another person is crucial because we really need to hear the healing words of someone who is also a human being, and hopefully - is well disposed towards you. In other words, they have some sense of vulnerability and are not a mean or critical person who will put you down or use what you say against you. Spouse, I don't think I would do that personally - but priest or religious person, yes. They work for God so to speak, and are used to hearing these sorts of things and also keeping their mouths shut.
Another person is crucial because we really need to hear the healing words of someone who is also a human being, and hopefully - is well disposed towards you. In other words, they have some sense of vulnerability and are not a mean or critical person who will put you down or use what you say against you. Spouse, I don't think I would do that personally - but priest or religious person, yes. They work for God so to speak, and are used to hearing these sorts of things and also keeping their mouths shut.
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