RDBplus3

Step 4: Intro & 4.1
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"

Do the following WORK simultaneously:

+ Click the link below and download. It contains the following:
- 5 Speaker Messages that focus on Step 4.
- An Intro page to the Work we will cover for Step 4, and Instructions / Suggestions for the 1st item in Step 4 - Resentments.
- A Resentment List Form.
- A Resentment Inventory Form, for Working each Item on the Resentments List.

+ Listen to each of the Speaker Messages.

+ Print / Read the Intro Page

+ Print the List and Inventory Forms, proceed per the Instructions on the Intro Page.

+ Read Step Four in the book, 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. Highlight anything that stands out or seems relevant.

+ Continue reading the Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Be sure to read all the way thru the end of Chapter 5, How It Works. Highlight anything that stands out or seems relevant.

+ Continue to repeat the 3rd Step, 7th Step, and 11th Step Prayers from Step 1 at least once a day, and the 3rd Step Prayer at least twice a day.

+ Change the personal prayer you say each morning on awakening, and each night before going to sleep - to adapt to each Inventory as you work thru them.

Click this link, or copy and paste in your browser:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/4baf6iywg..._9M1emALa?dl=0

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE

RDBplus3

An IMPORTANT Note for Working Step 4:

IMPORTANT - I suggest you keep this Work guarded and private. You will want, and need, to be brutally honest with yourself, and that can be impossible for some others to understand, or at the very least create potential awkward situations that are best avoided until you have chosen which person(s) you will share this with (5th Step).


RDBplus3

RDBplus3

Step 4 / 4.2 Fears
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"

Step 4 is being presented in separate Processes to minimize "information overload". Be sure you have started with the previous post, Step 4: Intro & 4.1 (Resentments).

4.2 Fears:
(Use the link below for the Forms)

+ Print / Read the Step 4.2 Intro Page.

+ Print the List and Inventory Forms, proceed per the Instructions on the 4.2 Intro Page.

+ Continue listening to the 5 Speaker Messages.

+ Continue reading the Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Be sure to read all the way thru the end of Chapter 5, How It Works. Highlight anything that stands out or seems relevant.

+ Continue to repeat the 3rd Step, 7th Step, and 11th Step Prayers from Step 1 at least once a day, and the 3rd Step Prayer at least twice a day.

+ Change the personal prayer you say each morning on awakening, and each night before going to sleep - to adapt to each Inventory as you work thru them.

Click this link, or copy and paste in your browser:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ksbefvrrl...fgtyCFD3a?dl=0

RDBplus3

RDBplus3

Step 4 / 4.2 Fears / 4.2.1 - RDB

A personal note:
Doing the Step Work with our Fears is where we reach the reality of or own limits, come to the realization of where our self-sufficiency ends, and come face-to-face with the stark reality of our ultimate inadequacy.

We come to the realization that we can’t control everything and everybody in every situation. In the program of the 12 Steps, at the point where our self-reliance ends is where we come face-to-face with our Creator. Our self-sufficiency ends with every breath we take, in which we need the oxygen to survive for each breath. We obviously didn’t create the oxygen, and we have no choice but to rely on it for our breath-to-breath survival. So much for our coveted and adamant ‘self-sufficiency’.

Fears are the place in the Steps where this ‘Higher Power’, ‘Creator’, ‘God’ concept has to become up-close-and-personal.

When we make a list of our Fears, and truly, honestly search within ourselves, we can see these deep-rooted driving forces that otherwise stay below the surface, waiting, subtly directing. When ‘triggered’ they have the force of our entire subconscious to take complete dominant control of us, because we’re wired within our Human Nature and our physical, mental, emotional programming to have the Fear to protect us for our very survival. When we list these, they are brought out into the light of day.

For each Fear, we consider the point at which our self-reliance ends. After all, if we were completely able to handle the situations of any specific ‘Fear’, it would be a self-resolved issue, and would not be a Fear we have been compelled to place on our list of Fears. So, as for our ‘self-reliance’, I like to apply the intent of the Serenity Prayer, and hold myself accountable to do whatever I can do, to ‘work thru the Fear’. I believe that is my responsibility, and I will ask God to help me do all I can do. However, back to not being able to control everything and everybody in every situation - at some point my self-sufficiency ends, and I have nothing left but the unresolved Fear, driving my thoughts, feelings and behavior.

At this point, I recognize this is a form of ‘unmanageability’, which is a Step 1 issue. This leads me to the next Steps, 2 & 3 - I have come to believe the Power that works thru this Program and these Steps does work, as evidenced by those in the Program that have Worked it, and I have made a decision / commitment to Work these Steps. So, at this point where my self-sufficiency ends, I invite ‘God’ in. Fear is such a strong internal feeling … and ‘I’ have run out of self-sufficiency … so, I need an internal experience from my Creator to give me strength, and resolve, and help to cope, to come to peace … I then have to reach out for something more than an intellectual understanding.

Fears are ultimately wired for primary survival, and then branch out into numerous, or all, areas of my internal experience. So, the ultimate reality is that I come to the place of confronting my own death, the ultimate end of my ‘self-sufficiency’. For life-dominating Fear, I reach out to God, applying and adapting a version of this prayer - "God, You created me, and as such You are my beginning and my end. Help guide me to do what I can as my responsibility in this Fear, and please come inside me and be my sufficiency where my abilities end."

Other than this process, and working thru the mechanics of turning my life over to God and living thru this growing relationship with my Creator, I am left to my own self-sufficiencies, and the Fears that I am subject to.

RDBplus3

RDBplus3

Step 4 / 4.3 Sex Inventory
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"

Step 4 is being presented in separate Processes to minimize "information overload". Be sure to have started with the previous posts:
- Step 4: Intro & 4.1 (Resentments)
- Step 4 / 4.2 Fears

4.3 Sex Inventory:
(Use the link below for the Forms)

+ Print / Read the Step 4.3 Intro Page.

+ Print the List and Inventory Forms, proceed per the Instructions on the 4.3 Intro Page.

+ Continue listening to the 5 Speaker Messages.

+ Continue reading the Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Be sure to read all the way thru the end of Chapter 5, How It Works. Highlight anything that stands out or seems relevant.

+ Continue to repeat the 3rd Step, 7th Step, and 11th Step Prayers from Step 1 at least once a day, and the 3rd Step Prayer at least twice a day.

+ Change the personal prayer you say each morning on awakening, and each night before going to sleep - to adapt to each Inventory as you work thru them.

Click this link, or copy and paste in your browser:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/cfqhhqc2x...9HlWavdwa?dl=0

RDBplus3

RDBplus3

Step 4 / 4.4 Non-Sexual Harms
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"

Step 4 is being presented in separate Processes to minimize "information overload". Be sure to have started with the previous posts:
- Step 4: Intro & 4.1 (Resentments)
- Step 4 / 4.2 Fears
- Step 4 / 4.3 Sex Inventory

4.4 Non-Sexual Harms:
(Use the link below for the Forms)

+ Print / Read the Step 4.4 Intro Page.

+ Print the List and Inventory Forms, proceed per the Instructions on the 4.4 Intro Page.

+ Continue listening to the 5 Speaker Messages.

+ Continue reading the Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Be sure to read all the way thru the end of Chapter 5, How It Works. Highlight anything that stands out or seems relevant.

+ Continue to repeat the 3rd Step, 7th Step, and 11th Step Prayers from Step 1 at least once a day, and the 3rd Step Prayer at least twice a day.

+ Change the personal prayer you say each morning on awakening, and each night before going to sleep - to adapt to each Inventory as you work thru them.

Click this link, or copy and paste in your browser:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ypa9tail6...Bu5SrhI4a?dl=0

RDBplus3

RDBplus3

Step 4 / 4.5 Misc Issues Inventory
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"

Step 4 is being presented in separate Processes to minimize "information overload". Be sure to have started with the previous posts:
- Step 4: Intro & 4.1 (Resentments)
- Step 4 / 4.2 Fears
- Step 4 / 4.3 Sex Inventory
- Step 4 / 4.4 Non-Sexual Harms

4.5 Misc Issues Inventory:
(Use the link below for the Forms)

+ Print / Read the Step 4.5 Intro Page.

+ Print the List and Inventory Forms, proceed per the Instructions on the 4.5 Intro Page.

Click this link, or copy and paste in your browser:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/s62l2o8wc...77BeOKlza?dl=0

This is the final post for the Step 4 Inventory Forms. This is a lot of information, and a lot of work. It can seem overwhelming. My suggestion is to take a break when needed, but continue returning to doing the work.

+ Please note, the Speaker Messages present different perspectives on working this Step. Step 4 can be worked as described by any of them, or can be done straight out of the Big Book Chapter 5 'How It Works' with a notepad. I like the Forms and Format I have presented, because they are very comprehensive, yet allow anyone to 'walk-thru' the intent of each of the Step 4 processes. The Harms and Misc Issues Inventories are in addition to what is presented in 'How it Works', but these are issues I have found thru working the Program, are important to explore and work thru. The MOST IMPORTANT factor is to Do Your Best to Do The Work. A 'Best Attempt' is certainly ok. These Forms can always be returned to, for a deeper Work, something many of us do in the Program.

+ I encourage anyone to send me a Private Message with any questions or issues about working Step 4. It can be overwhelming, and difficult to keep dedicated to continuing the work. Please ... I can help with suggestions that will get you through Step 4, and be manageable whatever your circumstance or internal condition may be.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... made possible and maintained thru Working the Steps.

eve123

Thank you for the step work guide here. I attend meetings but don't manage to get very far with my step work so I intend to do all you suggest starting from step one. I do not want to go back. Sick n tired. I need to work harder on my conscious contact I need to find my connection with my hp god for me.

Gottalife

Well done Hedd, that is a very good decision. I never could get anywhere on just meetings alone, and I don't know where I got the idea that I could. The steps are the program of AA, and most of that work is done away from meetings, usually with a sponsor.

The meetings are a great place to meet a sponsor, find people to help, to gain encouragement, to share how we are going with the steps, to give back some of what has been given to us, but they ain't the program.

When I shifted my attention to finding and developing a relationship with a higher power, through the steps, the obsession was lifted almost immediately.

tomsteve

how ya doin, kahlia??

RDBplus3

I will post step 5 soon.

RDBplus3

RDBplus3

Step 4 - Conclusion / Best Effort and Moving-On

Step 4 is an Important Body of Work in this Path thru the 12 Steps. It is best when done as thoroughly as possible. However, many of us that have been ravaged mentally, emotionally, and spiritually may find it difficult to be focused and dedicated enough to do a ‘thorough and exhaustive’ in-depth working at this time, in addition to possible life stresses that may be clamoring and screaming.

In such situations, let me suggest the following be done, as a Minimum, and then move on thru the Steps.
Minimum for Step 4, then Move-on:

1) Listen to all the Speaker Messages. These are important because they give multiple views of working this Step from the perspective of people that have Worked Step 4, and have been personally transformed thru working the Steps. It is also important because, maybe for the 1st time, we can assess different viewpoints, and not have to agree or disagree with everything said, but allow this new information to be assessed, and worked-thru while being open to guidance from this Higher Power we are learning to access thru the Program. It is also important because we learn we don’t have to ‘throw the baby out with the bathwater’ if we don’t identify with any particular thing said. We are learning that each of us is working out a personal experience of applying these ‘Principles’ as we develop this New Way of Living Life.

2) Make the Lists for each Category, as many entries as you can get thru for each, then Do at least One or Two of EACH Form, preferably more. This is NOT meant to be something so Stressful it drives us to ‘Drowning It Out’ with more Alcohol / Drugs. It is the Path to Freedom.

+ 4.1 Resentments - This Form allows us to examine the Path we take from Resentments to Unmanageability to the ‘Solution’ of ‘Drinking and/or Drugs’. Thru doing the Form, we realize many forces at work within us, and we see in-depth how we are affected, how we react, and how we ‘manage’ the Inner Condition. We learn to open ourselves up to the concept of having access to this ‘Higher Power’ that works thru the 12 Steps, and we let this developing ‘God Consciousness’ help direct us in New Ways of processing our internal conflicts.

+ 4.2 Fears - This Form brings us to the awareness that we Cannot control every Life situation, every Person, every outcome, every possibility, of the myriad of Life Events that happen inherently by just being Alive. Fear is a Base Instinct, it isn’t completely going away. We are learning to assess our Fears, and then to take refuge in the access we have to our Creator, and thru this to have Courage to live and move and function in our being, relying that our Creator will be our refuge when we breathe our last. We come to the realization we have only 2 Choices - Self-Reliance Only, or bringing in the Higher Power we have ‘come to believe’ Works thru the 12 Steps Program.

+ 4.3 Sex Situations - This Form brings us to the realization of our ultimate Self-Centeredness. Have we taken this most intimate of personal interaction, and used it for our Self-Gratification, and Self-Justified our actions and motives? We take a Sober and Honest examination of ourselves, and realize that left to our own Self-Centered Internal Drives, our tendency for Self-Justification, our drive for Self-Gratification, we may need Our Creator, this Higher Power, to help guide us to what a ‘Right Ideal’ may even look like. This Form leads us to start our search for a meaningful Ideal for our Sex-Instinct, beyond the Self-Will-Run-Riot that has led us into previous conflict and ‘less than ideal’ Sexual Relationships or Pursuits.

+ 4.4 Non Sex Harms - In Step One, we recognized and acknowledged the Unmanageability Inherent in our lives. This Form allows us to examine the Internal Drives and affected areas within us and around us that surround circumstances that have led to interpersonal conflicts, and how we have caused Harms to Others. This is one of the Life Principles we are allowing be renewed, thru the direction of our access to this developing ‘God Consciousness’.

+ 4.5 Misc Issues - This Form utilizes the format of the Step 4 Forms to examine Life Controlling Issues, or Internally Disturbing or Limiting issues or feelings, such as worries, depression, regrets, self-demeaning thoughts or beliefs, or anything else that is not specifically covered in the previous Forms. The intent is that we are learning to utilize the Program, to make a ‘Fearless and Searching Moral Inventory’ of ourselves, and to learn to access the Higher Power that works thru the Program to direct us in ways that lead to successful living, and away from the paths that lead us into conflict and the failed ‘Solution’ of using Alcohol and/or Drugs.

3) Do the above ‘Minimums’. If anyone is having difficulty doing a ‘Best Effort’, please send me a Message. I can offer suggestions and ways to help. However, there is NO Magic Spell, to make it all just go away, that is what failed us when we relied upon a Drink or a Drug to do it. IT TAKES DOING THE WORK. These Forms can always be returned to, and done as Life Events arise, or as there may be more time, or mental - emotional - spiritual, clarity. They also return in a very welcome way in Steps 10/11.

RDBplus3 … Happy, Joyous and FREE … and I KNOW U Can B 2

RDBplus3

Step 5:
"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

Do the following WORK simultaneously:

+ Click the link below and download. It contains 4 Speaker Messages that focus on Step 5.

+ Listen to each of the Speaker Messages.

+ Continue reading the Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. IMPORTANT - Specifically read Chapter 6, pages 72 thru 75. Highlight anything that stands out or seems relevant.

+ Read Step Five in the book, 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. Highlight anything that stands out or seems relevant.

+ Continue to repeat the 3rd Step, 7th Step, and 11th Step Prayers from Step 1 at least once a day, and the 3rd Step Prayer at least twice a day.

+ Change the personal prayer you say each morning on awakening, and each night before going to sleep - to ask for direction, and resolve to follow thru with doing your 5th Step. Also, thank God that You are being shown 'behind the scenes' how these 'Life-Processes' function within You, and pray for the direction to keep following the Path thru all the Steps.

Click this link, or copy and paste in your browser:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/xxr1u5u0j...KnaX9OJOa?dl=0

To do Step 5 obviously requires another Person, or possibly more than one, depending on the sensitivity of some of the items in our 4th Step Work, and who we choose to do it with. If You have a local Sponsor, or some trusted person(s) you know in AA, that is the most typical person chosen. However, other suggestions are made in the Readings of the AA Big Book and 12 & 12, and in the Speaker Messages. Do the suggested Readings, Listen to the Speaker Messages, and pray for guidance, then DO IT.

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE

Youngaddictionwarrior

Hi everyone. I've been struggling with eating since I came off duromine so I am starting my duromine again on Sunday. I need to get back to my normal weight as it's affecting my moods and everyone around me. I'm blessed to have finally found hobbies that I can do without needing to drink such as fishing and cooking. I now just have to get back into excersise and reading as I've been slack with steps cause I've been going to sleep over full

RDBplus3

Thanks for the update kahlia

I will continue to post the Step Work. You can work it as best as you can ... Just keep returning to the Work. The Steps lead on a Path to Freedom.

For most of us, if we keep returning to the Step Work anything like we kept returning to our drinking / using ...

RDBplus3

RDBplus3

Step 5 / 5.1

Step 5 is like the concept of pumping gas in a car on cold days. We get out of the car, and touch the metal of the car to discharge the static electricity. We hear & feel that little tszzzzt. In a similar way, when we do our 5th Step, it grounds us into Reality. We have done the Mental, Spiritual work of Steps 2 & 3, we have done the Mental, Emotional, Spiritual wrestling of Step 4, now we have to ‘Ground’ this work into the ‘Reality’ of this concept of Living Life on Life’s Terms.

Some personal thoughts and observations regarding Step 5 from the AA Big Book. (Read pages 72 thru 75)

+ “We have admitted certain defects; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out.”
.. The focus and intent here is that we move on with a Spiritual, Functional way of Living, and processing Life on Life’s Terms. The AA Big Book has much to say about accepting the Past, but not being controlled by it negatively, and actually being able to draw upon what we’ve experienced when we interact with others.

+ “We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. ... In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient.”
.. I’m quite sure we all can identify with the concept that just because I have an idea, doesn’t mean it is a good idea. Even though I think I have made a sound determination of something, it may be flawed. Sometimes when I think ‘God’ has directed me in something, I can be self-deceived. That d@m# EGO sometimes just can’t be (or shouldn’t be?) trusted without some Grounding in Realty thru Feedback from Others. The Spiritual often parallels the Physical … I can’t get a 3-Dimensional Image without that 3rd Dimension, which in the 12 Steps / Step 5 is Grounding Our Work thus far into Reality by doing our 5th Step with another Person.

+ “We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.”
.. The 1st 100 that worked this Program thru the Anvil of Human Experience, with direct Guidance of the Higher Power / God Reality that worked this out in them, did not just come up with this as a clever idea to tell other people what to do. So, when I made the decision to Do-The-Work of these Steps in 1, 2, and 3 … that now follows thru with me Doing the Work the Program Founders are directing me to do here in Step 5.

RDBplus3

PS: Any / All Drugs can be substituted for Alcohol / Drinking or in my case, all added together. Our minds have wonderful capabilities - we can easily transpose particular wording to apply just as functionally. (Alcohol / Drinking / Drugs / etc) Please note, we can also use our minds to substitute anything we want to be personally dis-honest about - This IS a Program of Personal Honesty and Personal Responsibility.

RDBplus3

Step 6 & 7
Step 6:
"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."
Step 7:
"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

Do the following WORK simultaneously:

+ Click the link below and download. It contains the pdf, 'Daily Prayers', an illustration depicting our 'Character Defects', and 5 Speaker Messages that focus on Steps 6 & 7.

+ Listen to each of the Speaker Messages.

+ Continue reading the Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Highlight anything that stands out or seems relevant.
... Specifically read the last paragraph on page 75, and the 1st 2 paragraphs on page 76.
... That's all there is written in the Steps portion of the Book regarding Steps 6 & 7. However, below the surface of these 3 paragraphs is a wealth of personal enrichment and a depth of understanding and fulfillment available to those of us who will dwell here, and mine the depths of a spiritual connection beyond a simple surface reading.
…Set aside some time, and read each of the 3 paragraphs. After each paragraph, clear your mind and contemplate the reading, and what is being suggested. Mentally do the inner work of each paragraph, before going to the next paragraph. At each one, ask your ‘God’ or ‘Higher Power’ connection that has been developing so far thru your Step Work, to show you …
…In the 1st paragraph - the depth of the Reality of each previous Step as it relates in your life.
…In the 2nd paragraph - What has been revealed in you that you are willing and ready to have removed. What is inside, that you know is a problem, but you need help in having the willingness. What is so deeply hidden you may not even be ready to acknowledge it? Work it out in this Step, at this time, to ask for the willingness to be worked out in you while you move forward in the Step Work.
…In the 3rd paragraph - This is where the real inner work is done. Mine it deep, and work it for Real.

+ Read Steps Six & Seven in the book, 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. Highlight anything that stands out or seems relevant.
*Note: At the beginning of the Step 6 Chapter there is a quote, 'This is the Step that separates the men from the boys."
I believe it is best interpreted as, "This is the Step that separates the Mature from the Immature".

+ Continue to repeat the 3rd Step, 7th Step, and 11th Step Prayers.

+ For your personal prayer, continue the inner work described above relating to the 3 paragraphs in the Big Book, and let these develop, into personal prayers directly in relevance to the working of these Steps.

Click this link, or copy and paste in your browser:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/9xf1qg4aq...pkpulqNMa?dl=0

RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE

Youngaddictionwarrior

Hi all. I just came to bed and god told me to pick up my AA big book due to some recent negative addiction voice thoughts trying to creep their way in. For those of you who don't know which may be nearly everyone I have problems with food, alcohol, prescription drugs and whatever can give me a buzz. I have relapsed once since February 2014 I had 3 drinks stopping before I was out of control and got straight back on the wagon. It led to crazy thoughts which were a blessing in disguise & showed me how easy and bad it can be. Quick rundown is age 0-7 mum & dad domestic violence drug use alcoholism and moved from Sydney to qld for a new life. 7-11 mum & dad separated. Mum became a lesbian we were home invaded due to drugs & I had to change schools and was living with grandparents. 11-21 my recriational drug and alcohol use started around 13 after being sexually assaulted and then came full blown bulimia. Mum met step dad she is still with and got off drugs. I rebelled and was a shocking teenager. 17-20 illegal drugs were very bad as they overrode eating food and I couldn't possibly get drunk. 18 high grade cervical cancer removed, boyfriend wouldn't touch me cause thought I was gonna die, separation, mum couldn't cope and started drugs again. 21 moved out west away from drugs (never gone back to illegal drugs only here and there for party's) 22 bulimia recovery which it is clear I put on weight and started drinking and prescribed pills instead of eating. 24 moved back to the Gold Coast met my amazing partner 26 high grade cervical cancer back. Had another operation and was addicted to Valium, panadine forte and endone. February 2017 booked myself into rehab best thing I ever done my grandma passed away whilst I was there but she's in a better place and I found AA which my life has been wonderful. So many great things have happened being sober I can't begin to explain but yesterday I went for my 6 month check up at the hospital and the doctor saw signs of the high grade cervical cancer being back. He is going to call in 2 weeks with biopsy results and let me know if it is which means I have to have another operation my 3rd one making it extremely difficult for child birth and also I am very scared about the pain killers as I fight taking them more than I seem to fight alcohol urges. The doctor was quite sure and I want to be positive but feel like I have to be prepared. I'm scared and so is my partner so he is drinking heaps cause he has depression and I just want to be numb. Tonight I stuffed my face and now down about it and I really need you guys xxx thanks for reading

CaiHong

Good morning Kahlia,
Good on you for not giving up and continue to understand and face your addictions. Go easy on yourself and take it an hour at a time if need be.
CAiHong

fini

just sending a hug, kahlia.