snarky

Hi all,
I went to my first aa meeting today. I'm barely sober 3 days due to a severe stomach issue so I figured I'd use it to Jumpstart. Anyway, the meeting confused me is the only way I can explain it.

I was soooo nervous walking in and kinda hung by the door.

They did this round Robin where each person has to talk. I really didn't have anything to say and felt dumb.

I was reading somewhere on here about sponsors and writing things. When does that happen? I'm really confused about the process.

dox

I was also very confused at my first meeting,
A couple of guys gave me their phone numbers and told me about the next meeting.
I called those guys for support and explanations.
They were always helpful; just like most people I met in AA.

If anyone gave you their phone number, call them.
Trust me: they will be more than happy to help.
We have all been where you are now,
That's why we understand you.
That's why we're here to help.

Take care, snarky.

awuh1

I'm going to start a thread in the new comers forum called "Afraid to attend your first AA meeting?" Until then...

In reference to your question about writing and sponsors. That comes later. It's nothing to be concerned about now. Just go. Say you're new so everyone knows where you're coming from. There won't be expectations of you.

All the best to you.

dox

snarky,
About being new to AA and nervous . . .
If you would feel more comfortable communicating one-on-one, feel free to send me a private message.

Hope you're feeling better today.
It does get better if you keep going to meetings.
It got better for me.

Gottalife

It is very useful to begin you relationship with AA through a one on one talk. You can get all your questions answered, and find out how AA works.

This is a lot harder to do by attending a meeting because you never know what they will be talking about. You would probably have to attend 50 meetings to get the same picture you could get from a couple of hours talking to a recovered alcoholic.

Centered3

First, good job going to your first AA meeting. The first one is always the hardest and takes courage. The first time at a meeting is confusing to most of us if we don't know what to expect.

Many of us did that, too.

Some AA meetings are "open discussion" meetings, and this is how they work. Next time, you can either say "pass", or something along the lines of "Hi my name is _____, I'm an alcoholic, first time here." That way, people will know you're new and will approach you after the meeting to help you become more familiar with AA.

There are different types of meetings. If you go to the main AA website and put in your zipcode, you'll be able to find all the meetings in your area and the type of meeting. In my experience, I liked the open discussion "round robin" meetings in the beginning, but they did not get me well. They kept me stuck in the problem. I only go to big book meetings or speaker meetings now.

Whatever meetings you choose to attend, be sure to tell someone before, during, or after the meeting that you are new and would like someone to talk to about the recovery work in AA to get started.

In my experience, the sooner you get a sponsor, the better your recovery. Ask at the meeting who is there to speak with newcomers after the meeting.

Best wishes on your recovery.

CaiHong

Hi Snarky,
I think it's very important to make it known that you are a newcomer and don't quite understand what is going on. People will be more than willing to help you.
Let us know how you are getting on. Hope you feel better but if the stomach problem is giving you some respite from drinking and a chance to change things maybe that's not so bad,
All the very best in recovery.

CaiHong

SoberLivingInMI

I have suggested a few times that a banner be put over the door to an AA meeting saying: "This is NOT Your Comfort Zone." Nothing in AA is comfortable to newcomers because it ALL goes against our nature. We have to learn to live with a little discomfort until we adjust to this new way of life.

Anything that is worthwhile in life is not easy. Since AA saves your life, literally, why should that be easy? Like marriage, sobriety is a long-term commitment (and requires constant work and a good foundation).

Berrybean

Once you've been to enough meetings to get to know a few people to chat to, and have started to figure out who has the sobriety you'd like for yourself, then you can start thinking about asking someone to be your sponsor. In the meantime it's worth just trying some different meetings and listen in to get an idea of it all. My first meeting I think most of it went over my head. The written work you do once you have a sponsor. They'll show you the way through it, and with each step you do you go through it with your sponsor and chat about it after you write it. There is a leaflet that you can read online on the AA website it yiu want to find out more about sponsorship and what to expect. .. https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&so...RnIoV6OL8M-zCA


You can read the Big Book online. I got a copy for my kindle, but it's free to read the PDF version on the website anyway. Another really helpful book for me was the little Living Sober book.
Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous
Alcoholics Anonymous : Living Sober

Centered3

I second this.

Without discomfort, there is no growth. That's why they're called "growing pains".

SoberLivingInMI

The old saying "no pain, no gain" does not apply absolutely to AA and sobriety. While I have a couple of 24s under my belt, I continue to learn and grow in the program, but I don't necessarily incur pain or even discomfort every time.

When we first enter the AA program we are so damaged, and we have experienced and stored up so much pain, that the process of recovery is going to be difficult and is going to bring out that pain.

Centered3

Yes I agree you clarified my words beautifully.

In the beginning of recovery, we bring our darkness out into the light. Afterwards, we grow in the light.