It's Not About Me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
It's Not About Me
. Guess I need to be more patient, understanding and tolerant--or simply not read forums. 
Thought for the Day
Am I willing to be bored sometimes at meetings? Am I willing to listen to much repetition of A.A. principles? Am I willing to hear the same thing over and over again? Am I willing to listen to long-winded members go into every detail of their past? Am I willing to take it, because it is doing them good to get it off their chest? My feelings are not too important. The good of A.A. comes first, even if it is not always comfortable for me. Have I learned to take it?
Meditation for the Day
God would draw us all closer to Him in the bonds of the spirit. He would have all people drawn closer to each other in the bonds of the spirit. God, the Great Spirit of the universe, of which each of our own spirits is a small part, must want unity between Himself and all His children. "Unity of the spirit in the bonds of peace." Each experience of our life, of joy, of sorrow, of danger, of safety, of difficulty, of success, of hardship, of ease, each should be accepted as part of our common lot, in the bonds of the spirit.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may welcome the bonds of true fellowship. I pray that I may be brought closer to unity with God and other people.
From Twenty-Four Hours a Day © 1975 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.
Am I willing to be bored sometimes at meetings? Am I willing to listen to much repetition of A.A. principles? Am I willing to hear the same thing over and over again? Am I willing to listen to long-winded members go into every detail of their past? Am I willing to take it, because it is doing them good to get it off their chest? My feelings are not too important. The good of A.A. comes first, even if it is not always comfortable for me. Have I learned to take it?
Meditation for the Day
God would draw us all closer to Him in the bonds of the spirit. He would have all people drawn closer to each other in the bonds of the spirit. God, the Great Spirit of the universe, of which each of our own spirits is a small part, must want unity between Himself and all His children. "Unity of the spirit in the bonds of peace." Each experience of our life, of joy, of sorrow, of danger, of safety, of difficulty, of success, of hardship, of ease, each should be accepted as part of our common lot, in the bonds of the spirit.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may welcome the bonds of true fellowship. I pray that I may be brought closer to unity with God and other people.
From Twenty-Four Hours a Day © 1975 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
SKG,
My thanks button is not working of late. This did strike a chord with me. I suppose a competent chairperson could rein it in. personally I don't go to meetings for meetings sake but for what I can learn from them. The last meeting I went to a few weeks ago was a "spiritual" meeting, lots of relative newcomers, gay and male, didn't talk so much about their spiritual lives but I got a lot out the feeling of camadrie even though I am a 61 year old straight female. I enjoyed it so much I am planning the long trip next week to this meeting but trying to replicate a "good " feeling is self defeating. I sort of get this reading to me it means we should embrace all things equally with equanimity . I sometimes take the opportunity if I find my mind wandering and judgements start popping up, to watch my thoughts, my emotions, meetings are great for this as all sorts of feelings can be triggered and yet you are in a safe, understanding and welcoming environment.
CaiHong
My thanks button is not working of late. This did strike a chord with me. I suppose a competent chairperson could rein it in. personally I don't go to meetings for meetings sake but for what I can learn from them. The last meeting I went to a few weeks ago was a "spiritual" meeting, lots of relative newcomers, gay and male, didn't talk so much about their spiritual lives but I got a lot out the feeling of camadrie even though I am a 61 year old straight female. I enjoyed it so much I am planning the long trip next week to this meeting but trying to replicate a "good " feeling is self defeating. I sort of get this reading to me it means we should embrace all things equally with equanimity . I sometimes take the opportunity if I find my mind wandering and judgements start popping up, to watch my thoughts, my emotions, meetings are great for this as all sorts of feelings can be triggered and yet you are in a safe, understanding and welcoming environment.
CaiHong
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I think maybe the written message can amplify irritation because I can read in emotion that isn't there and wasn't intended by the writer.
Different cultural use of English has also brought about some wierd interpretations. Sometimes, when I have tried to temporise what probably should have been a more direct message, someone will go off on a tangent completely misunderstanding whatever it is.
f2f has the advantage of "realtime" emotion, body language etc, and as a result, maybe better understanding of what is really meant.
And if you understood all that, you are probably an alcoholic
Different cultural use of English has also brought about some wierd interpretations. Sometimes, when I have tried to temporise what probably should have been a more direct message, someone will go off on a tangent completely misunderstanding whatever it is.
f2f has the advantage of "realtime" emotion, body language etc, and as a result, maybe better understanding of what is really meant.
And if you understood all that, you are probably an alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
When I first got to the rooms of AA I was confused because the body language didn't match the words--and it still doesn't much of the time. That tells me that there are alot of people living the lie, but it's not for me to castigate them. I have enough trouble with my own honesty even after a little while sober.
It DOES remind me that I'm sober, though. That I needn't worry about the whole thing because, if they've taught me anything, it is that the God that I walk with takes care of them, too, and for some of them, sobriety is enough.
I am not a fan of people in general, anyway, so the fact that I keep going back every single day for an hour or more means that the program is working for me, too. Even though I can be torturously different now and again...
And I understood everything you said, though my sponsor told me I might be alcoholic, but he's alcoholic so his judgement could be skewed. Never know about this bunch, you know?
Have a great day/evening upside down...
It DOES remind me that I'm sober, though. That I needn't worry about the whole thing because, if they've taught me anything, it is that the God that I walk with takes care of them, too, and for some of them, sobriety is enough.
I am not a fan of people in general, anyway, so the fact that I keep going back every single day for an hour or more means that the program is working for me, too. Even though I can be torturously different now and again...
And I understood everything you said, though my sponsor told me I might be alcoholic, but he's alcoholic so his judgement could be skewed. Never know about this bunch, you know?
Have a great day/evening upside down...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
I like meetings which use a timer. It's not for me to judge what's being shared as long as it relates to recover. However, l'm not required to listen while someone goes on and on either.
When it happens I usually pull out my phone or kindle reader.
When it happens I usually pull out my phone or kindle reader.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 6
I agree with CaiHong because if "the good of AA comes first," then the chairperson should have a standing authorization from the group conscience to rein in lengthy drunkalogues that exceed discussion limits. But as a participant, I suppose there's nothing I can do about it, and so I might as well move onto the next right thing. If it's a regular problem at my homegroup, then I can bring it up in group conscience and ask them to adopt the usage of timers in meetings. Or if it's a regular problem at another homegroup, then I have no place to tell them how to run their group and can simply decide to stop going & to go to a different instead, as I'm fortunate to have a lot of homegroups in my area.
That said, for all I know, a newcomer might gain something by relating to aspects of somebody's lengthy history narrative. I learned this recently actually from a newcomer when this very topic came up in a discussion meeting.
That said, for all I know, a newcomer might gain something by relating to aspects of somebody's lengthy history narrative. I learned this recently actually from a newcomer when this very topic came up in a discussion meeting.
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