barefootjunker

Pet peeves... lol we are all drunks here, we will always have peeves, it is part of our disease. S&@t happens everywhere and being that we are what we are it is going to irritate us.

Honestly if you can change it do so, if not accept it. If it gets to the point of a true resentment, deal with it accordingly. It is these pet peeves that cause people to turn away and bad mouth AA.

Now my pet peeve, those that have pet peeves that do not work on it in their steps to figure out if it is something that truly matters in their sobriety. What can you do about the long winded comment? NOTHING What can you do about those that don't help out with the meeting? NOTHING What can you do to the guy that comes home from work and normally takes a nap before heading out to a meeting. But tonight goes to an early meeting but forgets there is an alarm that is going to go off in the middle of the meeting? That guy is me, and it is embarrassing, but happens apologize and move on...

desypete

i have many pet peeves from the long wind bag talkers to those who say there grateful yet do nothing etc

my sponsor wouldnt let me get away with my complaints as he would always say to me WHO THE HELL DO I THINK I AM to tell anyone else how to do it or how not to do it or what should or shouldn't be done

in other words he is reminding me that i am still a selfish self centered bugger who still wants everything his own way

i have to come to accept aa is how aa is, aa has been around a lot longer than i have and it survives pretty well without me trying to run it.

so my biggest pet peeve is being reminded or made to look at myself that shows up my selfishness i dont like it and i want to make excuses for it

my excuses start with the word but

mfanch

If I'm getting burned up by a pet peeve, I'm in big trouble. I then do whatever it takes to get back to the middle of the bed. Depending on my brain chemistry that day, just about anything can become a "peeve", so a-trudging I must go.

Tommyh

we met some years ago and the group voted unanimously to leave it as it is
guess they forgot

Gottalife

The practice of trying to use a meeting as a substitute for a twelve step call. This leads to many of the peeves mentioned above because this is what the newcomer learns is acceptable in their first few meetings. They will behave as the group behaves, or within the boundaries they think are acceptable to the group.

I have attended a group which believes in minimal order. The chair reads the preamble and shuts up, thereafter people say what they like, how they like, the only sanctions being imposed on anyone foolish enough to suggest a solution to a problem raised by someone else. This is an extreme example, but you can imagine anyone attending that group as their first contact with AA is going to have a very odd impression of how AA works.

2muchpain

Yeah, I wonder how any newcomer feels when some of these things are going on like people texting, getting up for coffee, etc., in the middle of someone sharing or talking when someone is sharing. This stuff doesn't bother me anymore cause I'm used to it and have learned to ignore it, but this kind of behavior might give a newcomer the wrong message.

paul99

Oh boy this is an easy target...lol.

I guess I find that the things that annoy me shift as I move through my own journey. What used to irk me in the past doesn't now, and perhaps vice-versa. Having said that, there are some things that are just consideration. Cell phones going off like sirens, talking on the phone, chatting during meeting are certainly things that are annoying.

As for AA meetings specifically, I tend to get annoyed when there is a lot of slogan-eering and very little talking about the solution. I also find I have a hard time showing patience, love and tolerance when someone is venting about their day in general and not tying it to any sort of spiritual practice or a solution of some kind. A sort of upchuck and run.

tomsteve

Pet peeves....hmmmmm... NEVER!!!!!
Today.
I used to get upset with people with their phones under the table texting away. I used to get irritated with people that blahblahblah about problemproblemproblem.
But today and today only( I might get upset and let it peeve me tomorrow) it is their recovery and agreat example of how I don't want to be.
One thing that does bother me though...well...maybe not bother me. Idk how to put it, but people that say," everything's good today. Everything's goin good. The programs helping me."
Ok, how but tellin us how the program is helping and how it has helped today be good?

Carlotta

1) People who have side conversations while someone is sharing.
2) Secretaries who do not tell them to go outside to chat.
I have been at a few of those meetings lately and I think it is beyond rude. It is of course rude to the person who shares but it is also rude to those of us who are trying to listen and who have to strain ourselves to hear.

natsume

What if it is the secretary?

Hawks

Step 10, fancy admitting I'm wrong, promptly?

What a radical idea that is.... Thanks Bill

I also get annoyed when someone doesnt buy the same biscuits I would.

Don't they have any consideration?

BarbieKen

I went to a mini marathon after our Big Book Workshop last Saturday. A person started to share ( from our group) and said the F Word. When he was finished a woman who was like the hostess, politely told the group that this was a no cursing zone. She gestured to a couple posters around the room. WOW! A few more people in their shares used a cuss word, then immediately apologized. I loved it!! Yep ... Dropping the F bomb is my Pet Peeve. I really loved the Solution this Group came up with ..... Bobbi

Grungehead

Low talkers.

Ramblers.

Burnt coffee.

Clumpy creamer.

Stale cookies.

You know, the important stuff!

Really the only thing that routinely bugs me are the long winded shares that wander way off topic. Usually this leads to the person not being able to wrap up their share which just prolongs the agony. It's pretty nice that this is the biggest issue I have with the program that saved my life.

Carlotta

In some regions, the person who facilitates the meeting is called the secretary, in other the chairperson.
In my district, the facilitator is called the secretary and if there is a speaker they are called the chairperson. When I lived back East, the facilitator was called the chairperson and if there was a speaker he was called the qualifier.

PeppyGirl

1.) People who go to meetings to talk about their problems instead of how working the steps has given them solutions.

2.) Gossip

3.). People who talk too long and are not considerate of time on a regular basis. (I pay a babysitter every time I come to a meeting so that particularly bothers me).

A few weeks ago I was chairing a meeting and the final person to speak was an offender of numbers 1 and 3. As he continued to go on for several minutes (about 12 minutes total, 5 were after the hour had passed) I waited for a small lull in his share to interject, "Thank you John" even though he wasn't exactly done. That was enough for everyone to join in and wrap up the meeting.

I hate confrontation and that seemed to work .

desypete

with all these pet peeves around its clear to see who is working there program and who are only interested in trying to control things

my pet peeve are members who have pet peeves : ) and then qoute about a program of how there changed lol

really ?

Pagekeeper

Many of the peeves could be addresses by attending your group conscience. Can't really do anything about other groups, but you do have a say in how smoothly your home group runs. If it's an obstruction to carrying the message in a meeting, than it has earned a discussion at group conscience. My home group addresses these issues in a few ways. Things like cell phones, using profanity, double-dipping, sharing that goes on and on ... they can be added to the opening readings: "please turn off your cell phones" ... "Please refrain from using profanity" ... "We ask that you only share once and limit your share to 5 minutes." Then it is up to the chair to enforce their group's decisions. Talking about "problems" can be addressed by giving a meeting structure: Big Book Studies, 12x12 studies, or using other AA literature to create relevant topics. Open discussion meetings can easily turn into group therapy where a well-structured solution based meeting is more likely to stay on track. These are all things that can be brought up at the group conscience.

CousinA

Yesterday i was listening to a talk by a mediation teacher who suggested looking at my thoughts with of openness and curiosity rather than my furthering my agenda.

Openness and Curiosity > my peeves.

-allan

markz

Nothing at all wrong with speaking for 10-15 minutes, --IF-- they are sticking to our basic text book. I quite enjoy some members "share" that go on for that length of time. Its when people start "sharing" about traffic, their boss, family, work associates that annoy me. Now that is egoism and selfishness. Lets talk about me and my problems. What a shame! Its the absolute job of the chair person to shut-em-down, give them their 3 to5 minutes and cut it off. What do we do about the newcomer? Let them rant, then politely ask them to stick around after the meeting and we can talk about it. Give them a free Big Book, sign your names in it. These types of actions are what the newcomer remembers.

Ken33xx

Member who when sharing go on and on...

Which is why I like meetings that use a timer.

If you want to go on about the higher power, your sick cat or whatever it's all good.

But wrap it up around the 4 min. mark.