Tommyh

Yep…I used to walk out of those AA meetings thinking,what a crappy meeting.
They talked about everything (but what I wanted too)
Those people need help……they will never get any better...

Well,it wasn`t the meetings that was crappy,it was me and my attitude……..
Ever been there?

aasharon90

I went in those many many AA meetings
with a crappy attitude because I wanted
to do something else besides sitting down
for one single hour to listen and learn.

Once I put willingness into action and
marched myself right in those meetings
for one hour, I heard how recovery works
and learned how to follow in many of those
folks footsteps to stay sober each day and
became extremely grateful to be in the fellowship
of a program of recovery that works.

I went too AA school a many a yrs. and
with 24 yrs sobriety of listening, learning,
absorbing and applying a program of
recovery in my everyday life, I continue
to remain teachable.

tomsteve

i used to think most people but me were wrong and i was sure everyone wanted to hear how wrong i thought they were and how right i was.
pretty amazing what a lil humility did for me.
like Sharon, i want to remain teachable.

Gargery

At just about five months sober, I go to a lot of meetings. Usually, at least one a day. I've spent some wasted hours in meetings, absorbed by my own crappy attitude. That said, even the crappy meetings keep me from drinking. I still crave alcohol, and those 8:00pm meetings have been useful for taking my mind off it. And, hey, there's a pretty good chance some wisdom will penetrate my thick skull and make it past my foggy alcoholic brain, in which case, I learn something.

tincup

Honest question from a newcomer. Many meetings I go to, so much time goes to people who want to talk about the problems in their life like road rage or the boss at work. One guy was stomping his fee he was so mad...LOL....scared the heck out of half the room. I have trouble relating that to the program. I guess my job is to listen and let them get it off their chest ? It helps them stay sober which is my # 1 job in AA ?

jason2

Can't say that I have.

whalebelow

Non literature based meetings can be quite toxic and will not do anything to relieve a real alcoholic of the desire to drink.

I avoid them simply because they do not work "for me"

If discussion meetings keep you truly happy and sober, great, I am genuinely happy it works for you.

If you start to unravel after a time, go seek some big book based meetings... It changed my life and sobriety for the better.

tincup

Thanks for that suggestion. To be honest, I didn't really think there'd be much difference and I haven't attended a big book based meeting...there aren't many in my area. I'll find one and try it out.

whalebelow

Your welcome and if you have any questions just Pm me

Tommyh

tincup,I used to sponsor a guy who was so full of anger he would get to a meeting mad as heck.Road rage usually
it is the anger inside us that must be addressed,a inside job.
we do have a solution for that anger but as far as other drivers go...I can`t change the way they drive.I can help another alcoholic with anger by pointing out the parts in the big book that focus on it ( the solution ) and sharing my experience with it

Carlotta

I have gone to some meetings with a crappy attitude before and I also have gone to some crappy meetings.
A few things I keep in mind are:
a) the people at that crappy meeting are sober and what constitute a crappy meeting to me might be what you really like and need.
b) RULE 62. Not everything in life is to my liking, the world does not revolve around me. At least I only gave a couple of dollars for that crappy meeting but I have sometimes been stuck at a $$ crappy movie where I could not even walk out because I was with friends who unlike me were enjoying themselves (see a)
c) It makes me grateful for my home group and if it is a day where it's my attitude which is bad, it gives me a little nudge and I have a chance to start the day over.

Morning Glory

I removed some posts that were off topic.

1drinktohell

do you like speaker meetings, where there are two speakers?

I have trouble going to open discussing meetings at this point in my sobriety.

whalebelow

I stick with big book based meetings where I can hear about how to recover from alcoholism.

Speaker / ID meetings helped initially but most of them are, in my experience, more about scaring each other sober with war stories and how bad it was drinking.

If you can find meetings that are Bb based and about getting recovered, you'll find a big difference in the people that attend.

When I first went, I understood for the first time "attraction not promotion"..... After 18 months of just going to meetings and just not drinking I found some guys and girls who genuinely had something I wanted

Boleo

"You can get well in the fellowship and find plenty of company. You can stay sick in the fellowship and find plenty of company. It all depends on who you choose to listen to."

(Joe Hawk)

Music

I've never been to a "crappy" meeting when I've gone in with the idea of giving, instead of taking.

CAPTAINZING2000

I agree Music.

What can I do to improve a meeting. It would be silly and egotisical to think I have an answer for every topic at a meeting or have gone thru every problem brought up.
I spend a lot of meetings with my mouth shut and putting my ears to work.

I still believe, any meeting we walk away from and go to bed sober was a good one.

muvinon

I've been to some bad meetings. But 95% of the meeting I attend are quite fine, and I rarely leave without having gained something.....even if it's a completed grocer list.

matt4x4

True enough some meetings are worse then others. The "Talk-About-Your-Day" meetings, but I learn patience and acceptance in those meetings. If its a "one-off" meeting, then I will go back, but some meeting rooms are just that, a dumping ground for how your day went. However there are a few nuggets of gold in those meetings too. Theres always that odd fellow, who will share about the program of recovery, and I will be like, yeah!!!. There is always a reason to share. See meetings arent for me and me alone. No way. See its about 12 step work too, spreading the message of recovery as outlined in our basic text. I went to a meeting recently where it was a Talk-About-Your-Day meetings, and I piped up right at the end, just jumped in and talked about steps 1,2 and 3 and people were blown away. Then after the sharing portion was over with the announcements that group needed a speaker. There was some chit-chat back and forth then the chair person said if I would like to speak at the speaker meeting. I asked what day it was, and I said no I cant sorry I am working out of town that week. Then after the meeting a had like 4 or 5 people come up to me and said thanks for sharing. I was the only one that shared on the program of recovery, additionally there were like 4 newcomers for their first time and there and 8 rehabbers from the local "spin-dry" centre. Its one of those meetings to remember. I must add though that I like the smaller meetings as well, where theres only like 2 or 3 or 4 people and we just talk, dont even do the formal meeting format at all. Those are pretty darn good meetings.

whalebelow

For me it depends on what message I carry into a meeting.

If I'm going there to listen then play therapist or psychiatrist or whatever... I'm screwed.

My job is to carry the message of the common solution as contained in the big book.