'Terms of endearment'....
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
'Terms of endearment'....
Right from the start I never had a problem at A.A. meetings as referring to myself, in an honest, open manner as an 'alcoholic'...
I was even more happy to do so when I fully understood what the term 'real alcoholic' - see the book,'Alcoholics Anonymous'- Chapter 3,'More About Alcoholism' first line,'Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics.'
Although it caused a few disconcerted looks and comments at the odd meeting?
I like the idea of trying to make spiritual progress instead of claiming spiritual progress, thus identifying myself and to others as a spiritual, rather than religious person. A term, which, I feel adequately describes me, without causing me or anyone else any controversy.
That said, the term I really like was in a comment on Rudyard Kipling's famous poem,'If'...that suggested that applying it to contemporary life. The last line should be changed from, 'Then, my son, you'll be a man,' the word 'man' should be substituted to 'human'.
Now that's a term I'd be proud to offer anyone, whose recovered, in lasting sobriety to anyone. Regardless of race, class or gender from alcoholism .... in a sense of shared pain, suffering, endured and, I won't say defeated, but whose human spirit has risen above.
As a footnote. I'd add that I know in Buddhist philosophy, there's mention of the , nine ,'Realms of the Spirit.' At the top, you have Buddha, generally regarded as out of reach for mere mortals, after death. However, the next one down, which we can aspire to be is a , 'Human Being'. Down near the bottom are the 'Hungry Ghosts', whose spirits are condemned, because of their selfish,self absorbed, materialistic lives to wander the earth, seeing others having what they once wished for!
I think, I'll not only stick with the humans, but try to be one myself...simply done in continuing to try and make spiritual progress ....
I was even more happy to do so when I fully understood what the term 'real alcoholic' - see the book,'Alcoholics Anonymous'- Chapter 3,'More About Alcoholism' first line,'Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics.'
Although it caused a few disconcerted looks and comments at the odd meeting?
I like the idea of trying to make spiritual progress instead of claiming spiritual progress, thus identifying myself and to others as a spiritual, rather than religious person. A term, which, I feel adequately describes me, without causing me or anyone else any controversy.
That said, the term I really like was in a comment on Rudyard Kipling's famous poem,'If'...that suggested that applying it to contemporary life. The last line should be changed from, 'Then, my son, you'll be a man,' the word 'man' should be substituted to 'human'.
Now that's a term I'd be proud to offer anyone, whose recovered, in lasting sobriety to anyone. Regardless of race, class or gender from alcoholism .... in a sense of shared pain, suffering, endured and, I won't say defeated, but whose human spirit has risen above.
As a footnote. I'd add that I know in Buddhist philosophy, there's mention of the , nine ,'Realms of the Spirit.' At the top, you have Buddha, generally regarded as out of reach for mere mortals, after death. However, the next one down, which we can aspire to be is a , 'Human Being'. Down near the bottom are the 'Hungry Ghosts', whose spirits are condemned, because of their selfish,self absorbed, materialistic lives to wander the earth, seeing others having what they once wished for!
I think, I'll not only stick with the humans, but try to be one myself...simply done in continuing to try and make spiritual progress ....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
This oldie dovetails so well with AA principles:
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
© Max Ehrmann 1927
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
© Max Ehrmann 1927
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Desiderata...
Thank you for posting a copy of the 'Desiderata, hope I've spelt that right. A copy of which hung on the wall for many years , when I last lived a 'normal' life even in my drinking days, when I actually had a beautiful wife and, owned my home and everything that goes with it and a good professional position can provide.
All gone now, these past twenty years, other than my son and grandson, one of my proudest moments being that I was at least over a year sober when he was born in 2009, and still am!A day at a time...
Funnily enough,though I now live in what Jane Austen describes as 'reduced circumstances', these words ring truer today than ever. Realizing that in many senses, not least materially, I'll never had what I once had...and at least having gone some way to being safe, sane (jury's still out on that one) and sober they add a lot of structure to my life, on a daily basis...
So thanks once again,I really do appreciate the words and your effort in posting them....
All gone now, these past twenty years, other than my son and grandson, one of my proudest moments being that I was at least over a year sober when he was born in 2009, and still am!A day at a time...
Funnily enough,though I now live in what Jane Austen describes as 'reduced circumstances', these words ring truer today than ever. Realizing that in many senses, not least materially, I'll never had what I once had...and at least having gone some way to being safe, sane (jury's still out on that one) and sober they add a lot of structure to my life, on a daily basis...
So thanks once again,I really do appreciate the words and your effort in posting them....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
Originally Posted by Redmayne 
Thank you for posting a copy of the 'Desiderata, hope I've spelt that right. A copy of which hung on the wall for many years , when I last lived a 'normal' life even in my drinking days, when I actually had a beautiful wife and, owned my home and everything that goes with it and a good professional position can provide.
All gone now, these past twenty years, other than my son and grandson, one of my proudest moments being that I was at least over a year sober when he was born in 2009, and still am!A day at a time...
Funnily enough,though I now live in what Jane Austen describes as 'reduced circumstances', these words ring truer today than ever. Realizing that in many senses, not least materially, I'll never had what I once had...and at least having gone some way to being safe, sane (jury's still out on that one) and sober they add a lot of structure to my life, on a daily basis...
So thanks once again,I really do appreciate the words and your effort in posting them....
All gone now, these past twenty years, other than my son and grandson, one of my proudest moments being that I was at least over a year sober when he was born in 2009, and still am!A day at a time...
Funnily enough,though I now live in what Jane Austen describes as 'reduced circumstances', these words ring truer today than ever. Realizing that in many senses, not least materially, I'll never had what I once had...and at least having gone some way to being safe, sane (jury's still out on that one) and sober they add a lot of structure to my life, on a daily basis...
So thanks once again,I really do appreciate the words and your effort in posting them....
Friend of Jimmy B
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 667
Originally Posted by Redmayne
Thank you for posting a copy of the 'Desiderata, hope I've spelt that right. A copy of which hung on the wall for many years , when I last lived a 'normal' life even in my drinking days, when I actually had a beautiful wife and, owned my home and everything that goes with it and a good professional position can provide.
All gone now, these past twenty years, other than my son and grandson, one of my proudest moments being that I was at least over a year sober when he was born in 2009, and still am!A day at a time...
Funnily enough,though I now live in what Jane Austen describes as 'reduced circumstances', these words ring truer today than ever. Realizing that in many senses, not least materially, I'll never had what I once had...and at least having gone some way to being safe, sane (jury's still out on that one) and sober they add a lot of structure to my life, on a daily basis...
So thanks once again,I really do appreciate the words and your effort in posting them....
All gone now, these past twenty years, other than my son and grandson, one of my proudest moments being that I was at least over a year sober when he was born in 2009, and still am!A day at a time...
Funnily enough,though I now live in what Jane Austen describes as 'reduced circumstances', these words ring truer today than ever. Realizing that in many senses, not least materially, I'll never had what I once had...and at least having gone some way to being safe, sane (jury's still out on that one) and sober they add a lot of structure to my life, on a daily basis...
So thanks once again,I really do appreciate the words and your effort in posting them....
And thanks to Unclemeat for the Desiderata. It's awesome. I also offer this from Walt Whitman:
"This is what you shall do; Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body."
-allan
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Like you self-will has been an issue throughout sobriety. It's tough being an agnostic but pretty easy if I stick to meetings in Manhattan. Every meeting I go to ends with the serenity prayer. Lord's Prayer is a Christian prayer. I wasn't raised a Christian. I have a higher power. Since I came very close to death I had no problem saying "I am an alcoholic" I think it's only important that I know I'm an alcoholic. I've heard a few people say the First Step is the only on we must do perfectly.
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