Topic Meetings in AA -- are we missing out on something ?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Topic Meetings in AA -- are we missing out on something ?
many on the board here attend AA Meetings
and as we know many don't
one advantage to attending AA meetings may be
some are Topic Meetings
these are issues brought up and discussed within the Group
that help the Recovering one so as to
Recovery from booze and to help with their continued sobriety
so for the ones of us who do attend AA topic meetings
this may be a place in which to come and discuss topics shared
once ones who do not attend AA meetings realize the importance
and help and understanding received in meetings
they may wish to drop in on a few ?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
so here I go
attended an AA meeting this last Friday
the topic was -- (willingness)
I shared that this last time sobering up
I was willing to do anything so as to stay sober
I would go anywhere (meetings, church etc)
I would read and study about sobriety -- AA Big Book and others
I would do anything (legal)
so as to stay sober
I find it rather interesting here on this site
so many cry out and say that they would do anything to get sober
yet - they will not give AA meetings an honest try
the topic I bring from a meeting to this board today is -- willingness
as others attend topic meetings and wish to share
please share your topics here on this thread with others
Mountainman
and as we know many don't
one advantage to attending AA meetings may be
some are Topic Meetings
these are issues brought up and discussed within the Group
that help the Recovering one so as to
Recovery from booze and to help with their continued sobriety
so for the ones of us who do attend AA topic meetings
this may be a place in which to come and discuss topics shared
once ones who do not attend AA meetings realize the importance
and help and understanding received in meetings
they may wish to drop in on a few ?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
so here I go
attended an AA meeting this last Friday
the topic was -- (willingness)
I shared that this last time sobering up
I was willing to do anything so as to stay sober
I would go anywhere (meetings, church etc)
I would read and study about sobriety -- AA Big Book and others
I would do anything (legal)
so as to stay sober
I find it rather interesting here on this site
so many cry out and say that they would do anything to get sober
yet - they will not give AA meetings an honest try
the topic I bring from a meeting to this board today is -- willingness
as others attend topic meetings and wish to share
please share your topics here on this thread with others
Mountainman
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
We deal a large group of whiners.
People always hold out hope that the next time they drink will be different.
To me that's the main reason that and they want what ever misery in life they are facing to go away.
People want immediate relief from what they are feeling.
Took awhile for my pain to go away. I held onto the belief the group promised me, keep coming back.
People always hold out hope that the next time they drink will be different.
To me that's the main reason that and they want what ever misery in life they are facing to go away.
People want immediate relief from what they are feeling.
Took awhile for my pain to go away. I held onto the belief the group promised me, keep coming back.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Hey you guys!! You have tons of sober time between you. I don't go to AA and I'm still sober. Not saying I'll stay this way, just struggling to get through today. Maybe AA would benefit some not attending, but that's not for me to say. There a lot of people struggling here, probably because they have no where else to turn. They look up to you guys who have all this sober time. Gently nudge them into AA if you think that will save them. Or just throw your experience into a post and send it to them. They look to you.......
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 1,003
When I truly wanted sobriety, I was willing to set aside my fears and go to AA. I am convinced many people who actively seek out AA online to share how they refuse to go are really objecting to one very simple fact: They are alcoholics.
They'd rather not join that seedy group.
They'd rather not join that seedy group.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
I hope I don't come off like an AA nazi.
I fear, some people do come off that way and this in turn detours many seeking help away.
There a fine line of calling someone on their b.s. And not sugar coating it so someone will own up to their alcoholism.
I'm responsible for the part I played in getting me to the point I was.
I'm also able now to acknowledge I had help getting me many years sober.
A divine intervention from God placing me into AA.
Free will did give me the choice of going to that first AA meeting and open to the suggestions given me.
I fear, some people do come off that way and this in turn detours many seeking help away.
There a fine line of calling someone on their b.s. And not sugar coating it so someone will own up to their alcoholism.
I'm responsible for the part I played in getting me to the point I was.
I'm also able now to acknowledge I had help getting me many years sober.
A divine intervention from God placing me into AA.
Free will did give me the choice of going to that first AA meeting and open to the suggestions given me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
I think willingness grows with time.
I called AA, that showed willingness, then I started to attend meetings, that showed willingness, then I started to get to know the people, willingness, read the cards at the meetings, willingness, get a sponsor, willingness....
I think for some they look at the program as one huge leap with lots and lots of things to do and the mountain looks way to big so they quit the program. Some do remain sober because they find other means, some are "dry" and then some return to the insanity.
I hate the phrase, "baby steps" but for lack of a better term that is how the program worked for me. I had to take in a little at a time. Every time I took that little step and moved out of my comfort zone I found relief and peace. Every time I was willing to take a suggestion on pure faith, I got a little more serenity.
Now at almost a year sober I am willing to take larger "toddler" steps, the fear of going out of my comfort zone has lessened. The fear still comes but I know now that if I try there may be a reward I never could have seen, so I breath and take that step.
It is a journey, not a race. If I can remember that then I can be ready to take a new step instead of thinking that I have finished the race.
I think it is also important not to judge another persons fear level. What scares me does not even phase another and what scared them, never phased me in the least. We do need willingness to even begin but I try not to look at another member and compare them to myself.
I called AA, that showed willingness, then I started to attend meetings, that showed willingness, then I started to get to know the people, willingness, read the cards at the meetings, willingness, get a sponsor, willingness....
I think for some they look at the program as one huge leap with lots and lots of things to do and the mountain looks way to big so they quit the program. Some do remain sober because they find other means, some are "dry" and then some return to the insanity.
I hate the phrase, "baby steps" but for lack of a better term that is how the program worked for me. I had to take in a little at a time. Every time I took that little step and moved out of my comfort zone I found relief and peace. Every time I was willing to take a suggestion on pure faith, I got a little more serenity.
Now at almost a year sober I am willing to take larger "toddler" steps, the fear of going out of my comfort zone has lessened. The fear still comes but I know now that if I try there may be a reward I never could have seen, so I breath and take that step.
It is a journey, not a race. If I can remember that then I can be ready to take a new step instead of thinking that I have finished the race.
I think it is also important not to judge another persons fear level. What scares me does not even phase another and what scared them, never phased me in the least. We do need willingness to even begin but I try not to look at another member and compare them to myself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Nice thread MMB.
I have to agree. I sometimes think people are window shopping for recovery.
Looking for the most comfortable fit.
I see that a lot here. I see threads of people asking for help or for suggestions who seem desperate but the moment
someone suggests something they come up with a million excuses why they can not do it.
I have chalked it up to the fact that they are not desperate enough. They are not ready and they are not willing.
But I have also been in there shoes at one time.
When I did finally become desperate enough I would have stood on my head in time square to find some sort of relief.
I just don't think they are ready and hopefully they will become ready and willing before they die out there.
Not gonna lie, I used to confront people who sounded desperate but had every excuse in the book.
Not anymore. Now I make a suggestion, let them know what works for me and if they are not interested I just put them
in God's hands.
There are plenty who are willing to go to any lengths for sobriety and do whatever it takes.
I have to agree. I sometimes think people are window shopping for recovery.
Looking for the most comfortable fit.
I see that a lot here. I see threads of people asking for help or for suggestions who seem desperate but the moment
someone suggests something they come up with a million excuses why they can not do it.
I have chalked it up to the fact that they are not desperate enough. They are not ready and they are not willing.
But I have also been in there shoes at one time.
When I did finally become desperate enough I would have stood on my head in time square to find some sort of relief.
I just don't think they are ready and hopefully they will become ready and willing before they die out there.
Not gonna lie, I used to confront people who sounded desperate but had every excuse in the book.
Not anymore. Now I make a suggestion, let them know what works for me and if they are not interested I just put them
in God's hands.
There are plenty who are willing to go to any lengths for sobriety and do whatever it takes.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 383
Willingness goes hand in hand with motivation for me. There's a few folks who are blessed with the knowledge that "I'm done" and come to recovery with complete willingness, but we have to remember that they have often suffered terribly for years to get to that point.
I entered recovery (the second time) with no faith that I would remain sober, and honestly for quite a while just went through the motions. But thankfully AA kept me in a framework that I could stay sober long enough to find my own motivations for staying sober. So I'd agree that willingness is usually developed in time... the catch is keeping abstinent long enough to realize that we'd rather be sober than drunk!
I entered recovery (the second time) with no faith that I would remain sober, and honestly for quite a while just went through the motions. But thankfully AA kept me in a framework that I could stay sober long enough to find my own motivations for staying sober. So I'd agree that willingness is usually developed in time... the catch is keeping abstinent long enough to realize that we'd rather be sober than drunk!
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Originally Posted by Climber122 
Willingness goes hand in hand with motivation for me. There's a few folks who are blessed with the knowledge that "I'm done" and come to recovery with complete willingness, but we have to remember that they have often suffered terribly for years to get to that point.
I suffered in and out of the Program for many years (prox 40 years)
very grateful today for many don't make it that long
as I almost didn't many times
it's kind of deceiving
all of those other times in which I sobered up
I truly thought that I was willing
but
as I look back now I see where I may have only been giving it 90 %
this last time around - 6 years ago - I was 100 % willing
it's been working thus far
but
I think that I must check myself each and every day
am I truly giving it 100 % willingness today ?
am I cutting my Program short in any way ?
Mountainman
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by muvinon
Talk to a ton of people seeking help who aren't about to go to AA.
and for sure I would not call this 100 % willingness
Mountainman
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 1,003
Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob
some of them ??? may be cutting themselves real short ???
and for sure I would not call this 100 % willingness
Mountainman
and for sure I would not call this 100 % willingness
Mountainman
HEHE*
They do know......AA means, no drinking. It's all good. Better than good, really. It takes what it takes.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by Raider
But AA doesn't mean no drinking, it's a desire not to drink. Am I right?
I think the point of this tradition is to insure that membership is not limited to those that have stopped and not to judge those that have not. There is no ban on a person because they drank in the morning and attended an AA meeting in the afternoon.
If that was the rule I would not be here today. I was drunk when I called AA, I was drunk when Joan picked me up and I was drunk at the meeting.
The desire is the point of the tradition. I had a desire ten years ago, I did not stop and went back to the insanity. This time I had a desire but I also surrendered and had willingness to work the program not just be a member.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: london
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I completely disagree with this post. Some people have social anxiety, or agoraphobia, the thought of even going out of the door let alone sitting with a load of strangers would scare them to death, some ppl are mentally unable to do it.
Thats not an excuse, its not them being weak, if they are ill, physically and mentally, they have isolated themselves to such a degree it isnt even an option however desperate they are. You shouldnt judge.
Thats not an excuse, its not them being weak, if they are ill, physically and mentally, they have isolated themselves to such a degree it isnt even an option however desperate they are. You shouldnt judge.
Last edited by toddle118; 03-10-2014 at 01:07 PM. Reason: spelling
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
AA meeting and the topic was "being grateful"
Originally Posted by toddle118
I completely disagree with this post. Some people have social anxiety, or agoraphobia, the thought of even going out of the door let alone sitting with a load of strangers would scare them to death, some ppl are mentally unable to do it.
sure -- you are right
a very few might not even wish to go outdoors
I understand this all so well
my first few months of sobriety this last time around
I didn't even want to walk to the mail box
but
I forced myself to meetings anyway
true -- AA meetings may not be for everyone
but
until one has gone to a few meetings why show judgment ?
anyway the topic of this thread is
Topic Meetings in AA -- are we missing out on something ?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
back to topic
I went to an AA meeting on this morning
and the topic was "being grateful"
this is something that for newcomers in AA
they are asked to make a list of things in which they are grateful for
could be people, places or things
on my many other attempts at sobriety
I thought that I was grateful for many things
but
today as I look back I see where I was clueless at being grateful
the #1 thing that I'm grateful for today is
not being married to the liquid devil
it was an all day and night affair
leaving no quality time for self, family or friends (quality time) think about it
Mountainman
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
willingness is a good topic Bob,ty
my sponsor made it clear he can`t provide
my willingness for me,I had to do that myself.
I was in and out of AA for a year once.
I wanted a better life,the pain to stop,i
wanted off booze and cocaine but not pot.
My last binge opened my eyes to mny powerless and hopelessness
I came back to AA willing to do whatever yall told me ,you name it,I
tried to do it because I knew my life depended on it.
You know Bob,over the years my willingness is still there except for
some times I got complacent.Then the pain of sober life made me
more willing and I got back on track.
The time when I say I am not willing is the time I try to manage
my own sobriety and then trouble happens.
I was not willing to do the steps.
my sponsor made it clear he can`t provide
my willingness for me,I had to do that myself.
I was in and out of AA for a year once.
I wanted a better life,the pain to stop,i
wanted off booze and cocaine but not pot.
My last binge opened my eyes to mny powerless and hopelessness
I came back to AA willing to do whatever yall told me ,you name it,I
tried to do it because I knew my life depended on it.
You know Bob,over the years my willingness is still there except for
some times I got complacent.Then the pain of sober life made me
more willing and I got back on track.
The time when I say I am not willing is the time I try to manage
my own sobriety and then trouble happens.
I was not willing to do the steps.
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