Db1105

This fellowship started by one drunk wanting to drink, but instead and went out and tried to help another drunk. That still works today.

sugarbear1

You said you are working the steps....what step are you on now?

Please make yourself some system for remembering your meds, they will help immensely when taken properly!!!!

Riverbird

You sound like me when I was off my meds. Like scarily so. I have just a little more sobriety time than you and I recently had a rough patch where I forgot to pick up my prescriptions. Every day that I didn't get them I got more isolated and it got harder to move. I ended up in a major slump and kept found myself thinking "what's the point?". But I didn't want to believe it was the meds. That's something that I struggle with and something I have to continue to work through. I hate that I am dependent on meds to be able to function successfully. I had hoped that once I got some sober time I'd be able to get off them and rely on my own coping skills but 2 years in that has not been the case at all. I spent a bunch of days in hiding, and the more I hid the more I wanted to hide. I finally had to force myself out to get stuff done (thankfully a friend needed a favor on a day that I wasn't working or in school and was able to help her), and while I was out I finally went and picked up the prescriptions. I don't know if it was the taking action or getting back on the meds or both (probably both), but I started feeling better again almost immediately.

Depending on the meds you're on it's extremely important that you take them regularly. They have to build up in the blood stream to be fully functional. I'm not here to lecture you, I just know from experience that it has to be a priority if you want to maintain sobriety and be able to live happy joyous and free. At least if your mental illness and your alcoholism are anything like mine.

Aside from that...can you take your dog for a walk or out to the park or something? Anything to get you around people. From there I would hit as many meetings as I could. It's usually the times I want to go the least that I need it the most. I can very easily get comfortable being alone, like you're saying, but that's when I really have to push myself...even if I miss half the meeting because it's so hard to get myself out the door. One thing that helps me when I get into that spot is to remember that I don't have to do anything when I get to the meeting. I just have to get my butt in the chair and keep it there for an hour. Sometimes I'll bring scratch paper to doodle or write or something if I'm feeling squirly. It's the same with calling people too. You don't have to actually do anything. People in AA get it. You can just call someone and ask how they are...or tell them you feel close to relapse and just need to not be alone. I used to have a pact with a friend of mine...we agreed that just dialing the number was enough...we didn't have to talk as long as we'd breathe heavy every now and then and let the person know we were still there. :P

Sorry this is so long...you just really reminded me of me here.