Riverbird

Just wondering if there is a sort of general set of requirements when choosing a speaker for a speaker meeting. I've been to a few speaker meetings and it seems like it's always someone with many years of sobriety, though I did go to one where the woman was relatively new. I plan to ask about this at the club I go to because it seems like the same few people speak pretty regularly for their monthly speaker meeting (one of the reasons I've mostly stopped going to it). I want to get just a general sense though too, if there is one, of what is expected. I know there's lots and lots of speaker meetings out there, so I'm sure specific standards vary.

I've been asked to speak once before, but it was for a specific reason. At the club that a friend of mine goes to they were having a lot of new young people come in, but most of the ppl at the club were older folks with a lot of years, so they wanted a speaker that was young and/or relatively new in sobriety. I fit both of those (I was about a year and a half sober at the time) but was out of town so I couldn't do it.

I was recently asked again through a friend of my sponsor. I was really shocked to be asked since the youngest in sobriety person i know of that's spoken at this meeting had 6 years, and I just got 2. (Granted I don't go every week, but it seems like most of the others were in double digits!). I asked him if he was sure since I'm still kind of a sobriety baby and haven't been all the way through the steps yet. He said as long as I was through the 5th step it was ok.

I'm really excited. If my writing here is any indication, I love to talk. But I do worry a little that I'll have enough of a story to tell. My life has changed a ton through AA. 2.5 years ago I was locked in the psych hospital ready to kill myself. Now I'm happy, about to graduate college, living this amazing life, totally full of gratitude rather than hatred for the world, and I have a whole group of supportive friends around me. I've just always felt a bit "behind" because I know people my age (both sobriety and belly button age) who have been through the steps and are sponsoring others. I'm still only just learning to take care of myself and be a functioning adult. I know better than to compare myself to others. I know my progress through the steps has been slow for a reason...I had to switch sponsors part way through and I've had to work through some major health issues along the way...

Anyway the meeting isn't for a while, so I have some time still. I'm just so surprised that I was asked! But I'm sure my sponsor would've stepped in if she didn't think I was ready or really didn't think it was a good idea. Sorry to ramble (speaking of liking to talk...lol). Just curious what is typical in other areas.

sugarbear1

it's usually up to the group conscience and the chairperson (in our group) asks a speaker to speak (we have readers)

Music

I was always told that speaker meetings were for identifying if I had a question about my own motives for being in AA. Am I alcoholic? Does my drinking mirror the person I listening to? I've spoken a few times but other than that, I don't go to many speaker meetings. I have no more motives to question! My first sponsor always told me to pray before I speak, to focus on expressing without trying to impress. He also said the people who are listening don't care so much about what I know, as much as they do about hos much I care. I used to think I didn't have all that much to say but when I started and got comfortable, the words came and usually when I've said enough, the words stop coming to me. That's how I know when to stop. One thing I've noticed though is that when I speak, there's always the talk I'm going to give, the talk I actually give, and the talk I should have given. Funny how that happens!

muvinon

It really depends. In my area, we have very few speaker meetings. In the area where I used to live, a monthly speaker meeting was common.

And yeah, depending on the program chairperson, we might hear the same people a few times too many.

Then again, does it really matter? I think it's great you're speaking. Just tell the truth!

Tommyh

my home group has 102 speaker meetings a year.
We usually try to get a speaker from outside the general area.Sometimes it comes down to home group members or a round robin
No usual requirements but be sober and maybe 90 days or so.We throw in a few alanon speakers a year too.
As for myself,I have done it several hundred times over the years.
I just do it and let it stand on it`s own.I don`t worry about what I said or what I should have said etc.I do pray first....always

GracieLou

There does not seem to be any set rules in my area. The conscience seems to be a year sober but I have seen others do it earlier and I did my first mini-lead at 10 months.

The other and more important one is the group conscience about the type of meeting. Many groups are hard core "alcoholic only" groups and do not want a speaker mentioning any side dishes at all in their lead even though it is an open meeting. That is one thing to keep in mind.

Most of the meetings I go to are more liberal and do not mind it being mentioned as long as it is breezed past, it is their story after all but it is discouraged to mention it in detail.

So if you are to ask someone it was suggested to me that I hear their lead first before asking them to lead at my HG to make sure it fits with the group conscience. Of course that is no guarantee. I have heard a lead from the same person several times and I learn a little more as the person may say and reveal things they did not in an earlier lead.

theatredork

I think it depends on the group and the circumstances. I've seen people with one year sober speak and some with 20+ years sober speak. I think traditionally people have some time under their belt.... but when I was a newcomer I would have loved to hear someone with a couple of years. If they asked, do it. My sponsor is always reminding me that something I say could impact the newcomer (I haven't done an open talk yet though...). :shrug:

paul99

Around here, the chair gets to pick the speaker. There are no rules per se, but the chair will try to find someone that they identify with, or perhaps has heard somewhere else and want to bring them to their homegroup. There is one group near my house that seems to have speakers bail out more often than at other groups, and they have been known to tap someone on the shoulder 10 minutes before the meeting to speak. If it's not a group member, they take a chance with a stranger. Some of the best speakers at that group have been the surprise guests. That's because they don't have a lot of time to prep, so they speak more from the heart, and usually connect well with others. I have also heard some new-ish people speak and their message is different, but no less or more important than anyone else's.

CAPTAINZING2000

I've been asked to speak this coming Thursday night an I've been bouncing things around in my mind.

Just guessing the person that asked you to speak has heard you share at a meeting and liked what you had to share.
Some people enjoy sharing their experience with others. Speak from the heart ask your your higher power to direct you

4thdimension86

Most of the meetings in York Pa are speaker meetings. Most require that a person has a year of sobriety. I spoke on my first year anniversary and will be returning to my old home group down there to celebrate my second. I find that sharing my life story is a great way to satisfy my ego. I love the attention and I like hearing the sound of my own voice.

IOAA2

In my area there are more than 100 meetings a week. Depending on the group any alcoholic with + 90 days can speak and or chair a discussion meeting. Most open speaker groups have a commitment to have their members speak at another open groups meeting and they return the commitment. When I was quite active it was common to travel to different cities to speak, often + 50 miles. That was great as we had 3 meetings that night: going to, at the commitment and heading home.

BE WELL

Riverbird

I think I agree with you on this. When I was new hearing from someone who had 20 years...or even 5 or 10 years...just meant nothing to me. I was struggling to stay sober for a day or a week (or sometimes an hour!) so I couldn't imagine that many years. Honestly I thought they were either lying or had something different than what I had! I probably would've gone to more speaker meetings if they'd been people with 2 years rather than 20. (I now have a lot of respect for people with long-term sobriety, but that took a while, and it's still not always the story I want to hear).

I think I'd feel better about it if that were the case. This guy has never heard me speak. I've only been to one other meeting that he was there and I didn't say anything. But my sponsor was speaking at this meeting and asked me and some of her friends to come. Afterwards he mentioned they had spaces to fill and wanted to sign up some of us (the new people to the meeting who had come with my sponsor). I thought I was too new to speak so I didn't say anything...but my sponsor and one of her friends recommended me to him. So it wasn't that I said anything great, I just happened to be a sober person and they happened to need one.

Love this. It pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole thing. I love to talk but I know people get tired of hearing from me. The idea of an entire hour dedicated to me makes my ego very happy! lol I just hope I can do it justice. I think a friend just got in my head telling me about her old home group and all the huge requirements they had for someone to speak. I sometimes feel like I have a god story to tell, sometimes I feel like I'm only just beginning...but people tell me I've got good stuff to offer. I asked my sponsor about this a while back when I'd been asked the first time and was out of town...and she laughed and told me "you'd have no problem filling an hour!" She's right...I was beyond quiet in AA. Some people actually questioned my ability to speak. Now that I've found my voice it's hard to stop it!