ressurectJ

just went to another AA meeting tonight and the speaker emphasized about before anything getting/finding your higher power.just curious as to how you all here managed to find your higher power or went about finding your higher power????

TheJungianThing

The words are "power greater than ourselves". Being selfish, I interpreted that as a power greater than me.

I already admitted that alcohol was a power greater than me.
The police were a power greater than me.
The alcohol awareness folks who could test my urine and send me to jail - were a power greater than me.
The tougher and meaner dudes in jail - were a power greater than me and I'd have to abide by their rules or else.
The sheriffs and jailers were a power greater than me and I'd have abide by their rules.
The fact the people in the rooms were sober, had their licenses, had changed their lives and seemed content - was a power greater than me.
The fact many of them believed in a Spirit of the Universe, "God" or what have you - and it worked - was a power greater than me.
My parents faith and prayers - their supplication to a power greater than them to help their son - was a power greater than me.
My parents love and care of me - was a power greater than me.
My father's "imperious urge", a power greater than him AND me, was a power greater than me. I was born, I did not WILL MYSELF HERE ON MY OWN POWER.
Going back through the generations - power greater than me.
EVOLUTION - a power greater than me.
The Universe - a power greater than me.
Infinity - a power greater than me and I am unable to grasp it with my finite mind.

The night a dude read to me from "Working with others" about how to approach a man who has more religious education than he did - was a power greater than me.

It brought me to my "spiritual knees", maybe I didn't know all I thought I knew. I became open to - a power greater than me. One that I cannot fully define, with words, it was an experience where I fully realized I was NOT God. Although my prideful intellect and emotionalism (mistaken for spirituality in years past) put myself on a level above God and therefore - God.

When I reviewed my fourth column of my inventory I could see where I was playing God, not a door knob, a rock, or a tree. But God, omnipotent and omniscient, played by a delusional powerless drunk.

neferkamichael

I had problems at first with the higher power concept. I'm not religious at all, and most people wind up calling thier higher power 'god'. I finally decided to call my higher power Alcoholics Anonymous because AA is greater than me, has helped me stay sober for 1 year 9 months now. The "fellowship" of AA, the people who have stayed sober year after year are the the ones that I pay attention to and learn from. Because it was emphasied to me the same as you I just picked AA as my higher power and have become quite comfortable with it.

2granddaughters

I find mine every morning and every evening on my knees by the bed. My HP is always there....


Bob R

BadCompany

Take the actions outlined in the steps and you will find him.

DayTrader

First, I'll share what the BB says, specifically, on where and how to find a God of your own understanding cuz they were cool enough to write is down for us to follow: (my bold fonts added)

How? search fearlessly
Where? inside of YOU (which is usually the last place any of us would think to look ).

I went looking......read a lot and listened to ppl who seemed to have found a God of their understanding.

Working the steps is a great way to do it...... the tough part is the "fearless searching." Some of the things that helped me personally was realizing I was not going to keep myself sober forever. I maybe could for a while.....but not forever - that meant I'm either gonna get dunk OR I better tap into that power.

It also helped to not throw away, but write in pencil all my beliefs about God......then do that searching (by working the steps) and, like a scientist, examine the results (rather than setting out to prove one way or another). If my preconceived beliefs were right, I'd get to keep them. If wrong, I'd erase them. Some stayed, some went.......as the result of my seeking.

I also went back and looked at the teachings of the church of my youth. Sure didn't wanna go looking in religion.....but it does say SEARCH FEARLESSLY, right? I found a LOT of great stuff there. I've also done some cursory studies of other religious faiths.....LOTS of great stuff there as well.

I;m not all the way there yet with the "you'll find God within yourself" part. I haven't quite wrapped my head around all of that yet.

Here's the good news if all this seems like a lot of work: "God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him."

sugarbear1

I had a discussion with my sponsor (who was really guiding me through steps 123) and I worked on step 4, spoke about step 5 in another discussion, worked 6 & 7, talked about 8-12. It wasn't until the next day, and the day after, that I realized how change had taken place within me. That is where my power greater than me exists. Today, I believe.

Lily

I was raised in a pretty much non-religious home. Back in 1989 2 men came knocking at my door to invite me to a church right down the road from me. So I went, and I kept going back and I did believe in God, I believe he existed, I even believed he had to power to change people, but I did not think he had the power to change me. I kept going to that church.... I changed in some ways, but looking back now, I kind of think I was a great pretender in a lot of ways. See, I loved the people. I loved the honesty, the integrity of most and I felt safe.

I believe I kind of became a great actor. See one night shortly before I got clean I was driving down the road alone and began to rehearse a prayer. (Like I was praying for someone and the words I would use) and all I can say is I felt a little nudge. Something like "You never ever talk to me, but now you are rehearsing a prayer to sound spiritual?" I felt convicted but kept on my way.

A few months later I woke up at the end of myself. It was Dec. 28, 2010. I decided to log on to a Christian recovery site called setting captives free. I worked through the 60 day program logged on here and at the same time decided to read thru the bible in year. It transformed my life. I have had almost NO using thoughts since reading everyday the Bible. I was a 24 yr chronic relapser! (I went to my first NA meeting in 1987 after having been a meth addict and alcoholic for 3 yrs and wanted to quit then...did not get clean off meth & booze till 1991 save 8 months or so when I found out i was pregnant with my son in 88)

I know this isn't a religious program and many may balk at my story, but it is the honest truth.

I LOVE the Big Book of alcoholics anonymous. There is so much to be found in there too! Nuggets of truth that are to be lived out.

Oh and I talk to my higher power all the time now...not just praying in front of others just to sound spiritual or just to rehearse prayers....but I really do talk to him today about everything and I trust HIM! 100%

Lily

keithj

Just like the BB tells me will happen, I took the Steps. The result of those Steps was a conscious contact with a power greater than me.

augustwest

I already had a belief in a higher power concept coming in but was very averse to the "God, he him" business as i was coming at it from an eastern approach. But that didn't slow me down in just moving forward with the steps. I read some books and downloaded some talks by some people who were discussing higher power and the steps from a buddhist perspective, found that their ideas really resonated with me, and incorporated their language into mine. I continued through the steps and now have no aversion to the judeo christian language of the steps and have a HP that i understand and has an impact on my daily life.

2granddaughters

Finding my H.P. has been a process, I believe that's why the 2nd Step says "Came to believe".
Over the years my H.P. has changed and sometimes it's disorienting until I talk to the oldtimers and they tell me the same has happened to them. They tell me "I'm right where I'm supposed to be".

Years ago I said to one of the oldtimers "I'm really struggling with this GOD thing"
He said "Are you still looking for GOD?"
I said "Yes, real hard."
He said "Everything is fine then, you're OK" !!

Hope everyone has a great day ..

Bob R

Firehazard

I opened up my eyes and began to look because honestly I was and still am VERY Desperate.
Now it seems as if that GOD of thier understanding finds me instead of the other way around during the day and guides me through little coincidences and miracles.
I can relate the finding of HP very similar to the poem "Footprints". The walker realized that not only had GOD been with him the entire time but was actually doing all the work. Also, the Buddist concept of Dharma has resonance here where at any point, place, time , or way can a person dip into Nirvana.
On the more pactical side I pray in the mornings and move at the proper pace during the day to connect.

vinyl

Hi August, Would you mind sharing the titles of these books or any information on the Buddhist perspective of the 12 steps and AA? I've been a Buddhist for over 10 years and have found this to be the one reason I've been adverse to going to a meeting. I can't get past the Christian concepts inherent in the program and would like a perspective I can relate to. Thanks.

foodie1

I worked the first 2 steps with my sponsor and was stuck on step 3 because I just could not find that voice or presence! It was frustrating me to no end and I didn't want to do a half-a** step 3 prayer. So I took a day of silence and let God find me. I spent the day in quiet prayer and meditation, and it did happen. I had the spiritual experience I needed to say an authentic step 3 prayer and every day God reveals a little bit more.

Trust in the steps and work your program, your HP will reveal itself.

shaun00

For me it wasn't really about finding......more about reconnecting having a new experience rather than old childhood ideas.

I like that idea ive heard, ....god was always there just behind the door...i just had to clear some junk to get to the door and open it .

It started with believing he was there for me....Today its about complete faith in his will and direction ...especially recently for me.....If i have the idea of god in my day...im truly amazed at what i see.....My life is totally awesome right now....tiny bit frightening sometimes....but the nature of life is "change".. right .

Boleo

For me it wasn't really about finding it... It was more like it found me...

Not bragging mind you. There were times I was not looking to be found and the "spiritual awakenings" felt more like "rude awakenings".

The trigger for these experiences is pretty straight forward. I do something more humble/noble/benevolent than anything I have ever done before and a short time later HP knocks on my door.

augustwest

One Breath at a time by Kevin Griffin
A Burning Desire: Dharma God & The path of recovery by Kevin Griffin
The 12 Step Buddhist by Darren Littlejohn
The Zen of Recovery by Mel Ash

Not specifically about this topic but i strongly recommend Dharma Punx by Noah Levine. It's his memoir and it covers his transformation from junkie to 12 stepper/buddhist teacher. Amazing story.

Here's the Dharma Punx website. Dharma Punx
Click on the MP3 tab and there's numerous 12 step/buddhism talks you can download

Here's Kevin Griffin's website. Kevin Griffin
There are 12 step dharma talks in there as well as some good links to other sites

Here's Judith Ragir's website. White Lotus Judith Ragir Zen Priest and Teacher Minneapolis St Paul Minnesota
There's a 12 step tab with tons of dharma and recovery talks. She's great.

And here's the 12 step buddhist website. the 12 Step Buddhist

Enjoy! There are lots of buddhists in the rooms. I didn't think it possible at first for some reason and found out that there's actually a group in my small town in north carolina that meets bui-weekly at the local zen center for sitting and 12 step dharma discussions. You will probably be surprised. I know i was.

AlwaysGrowing

Great question. For me it was the original big book (bible). It wasn't a flash of light but a slow tearing down of walls and putting nothing else first. Then and forever. 20 years sober later still growing in faith. Goes in cycles for me. I had to ask for help where to start, where to read, and be involved.
AG

langkah

It took some weeks to follow the book's instructions on step 2, but at the end I had something I was comfortable with and could utilize in making my decision in 3.

I'd zero desire to pursue that area at all, just was following the directions as closely as possible in the hope it would work as well for me as it obviously did for those ahead of me who'd done the same.

vinyl

Thanks, August. I'm very familiar with Dharma Punx and read it way back in the day. I was a practitioner at zen centers in L.A. and San Diego for several years before losing my way. I have re-engaged with zazen and breathing again. I'll check out those Buddhist recovery books and give them a whirl. Thanks for the help.