Beginners Meeting, The Tablemate, Steps 4, 8, 9, 10, The Inventory-Restitution Phase
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Beginners Meeting, The Tablemate, Steps 4, 8, 9, 10, The Inventory-Restitution Phase
DISCUSSION No. 3
INVENTORY & RESTITUTION
The material contained herein is merely an outline of the inventory and restitution steps and is not intended to replace or supplant:
a. The careful reading and re-reading of the Big Book.
b. Regular attendance at weekly group meetings.
c. Study of the program.
d. Daily practice of the program.
e. Reading of approved printed matter on alcoholism.
f. Informal discussion with other members.
This instruction is not a short-cut to A.A. It is an introduction - - a help - - a brief course in fundamentals.
This meeting covers Steps 4, 8, 9, 10. We will take them in order.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Step No. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The intent and purpose of this step is plain. All alcoholics have a definite need for a good self-analysis - - a sort of self-appraisal. Other people have certainly analyzed us, appraised us, criticized us and even judged us. It might be a good idea to judge ourselves, calmly and honestly. We need inventory because:
Either our faults, weaknesses, defects of character, are the cause of our drinking,
or our drinking has weakened our character and led us into all kinds of wrong action, wrong attitudes, wrong viewpoints.
In either event we obviously need an inventory and the only kind of inventory to make is a good one. Moreover, the job is up to us. We created or we let develop all the anti-social actions that got us in the wrong. So we have got to work it out. We must make out a list of our faults and then we must do something about it.
The inventory must be four things:
It must be honest. Why waste time fooling ourselves with a phony list? We have fooled ourselves for years, we tried to fool others, and now is a good time to look ourselves squarely in the eye.
It must be searching. Why skip over a vital matter lightly and quickly? Our trouble is a grave mental disease, confused by screwy thinking. Therefore, we must search diligently and fearlessly to get at the truth of what is wrong with us - - just dig in and search.
It must be fearless. We must not be afraid we might find things in our heart, mind and soul that we will hate to discover. If we do find such things they may be the root of our trouble.
It must be a moral inventory.
Some, in error, think the inventory is a lot of unpaid debts, plus a list of unmade apologies. Our trouble lies much deeper.
We will find the root of our trouble lies in Resentments, False Pride, Envy, Jealousy, Selfishness and many other things. Laziness is an important one. In other words we are making an inventory of our character: our attitude toward others, our very way of living.
We are not preparing a financial statement. We will pay our bills all right, because we cannot even begin to practice A.A. without honesty.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Step No. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Under this step we will make a written* list of those we have harmed. We ask God to let his will be done, not our will, and ask for the strength and courage to become willing to forget resentments and false pride and make amends to those we have harmed. We must not do this step grudgingly, or as an unpleasant task to be rid of quickly. We must do it willingly, fairly, and humbly - - without condescension.
*The original Detroit pamphlet said "a list (mental or written)," but the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions later made it clear that it needed to be written.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Step No. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is where we make peace with ourselves by making peace with those we have hurt. The amends we make must be direct. We must pay in kind for the hurt we have done them. If we have cheated we must make restitution. If we have hurt their feelings we must ask forgiveness from them. The list of harms done may be long but the list of amends is equally long. For every wrong we have done, there is a right we may do to compensate.
There is only one exception. We must develop a sense of justice, a spirit of fairness, an attitude of common sense. If our effort to make amends would create further harm or cause a scandal, we will have to skip the direct amends and clean the matter up under Step Five.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Step No. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In coming into A.A. we usually will have a pretty big inventory to work on, as in Steps Four, Eight, and Nine. But even after that, we will not be perfect. We have a long way to go. We will continue to make mistakes and will be inclined to do some more wrong thinking and wrong doing. So at intervals, we continue to take inventory. Here the purpose is to check on our progress. We certainly cannot be perfect, so the need for regular inventory is apparent.
These inventories are personal. We confine the inventory to ourselves. We are the ones who need it. Never mind the other fellow! He too is probably troubled and will have to make his own inventory.
When we make these inventories, probably the best way to start is to go over (one by one) each of the twelve steps, and try to discover just what (in these steps) we are not following.
The businessman has to make a physical inventory from time to time. We have to make a personal inventory of ourselves from time to time if we want to recover from a serious mental illness.
Character Defects and Vices
So much for the inventory steps - - now look at some of the things we would do well to cover in an inventory:
Selfishness - - the common vice of all alcoholics.
Egotism - - who is without some of it? Self-Importance, Mr. Big.
False Pride - - too big to admit a fault or an error.
Impatience - - the spoiled child in a grown man.
Resentments - - an alcoholic usually is sore at the whole world. Everybody is wrong!
Lack of common honesty - - usually fooling ourselves and trying to fool others. False pretense, sham.
Deceit.
Hate - - the outgrowth of anger and resentment.
Jealousy - - just wanting what the other fellow worked to get.
Envy - - a sure-fire cause of discontent and unhappiness.
Laziness - - just plain laziness.
And so on through a long list.
Conversely Our Inventory Could
Show a List of Virtues
which we very definitely lack and should go to work on to develop such as:
Honesty
Simple Justice
Fairness
Generosity
Truthfulness
Modesty Humility
Honest Pride in work well done
Simplicity
Patience
Industry (go to work and really work)
And so on through a long list.
Then Consider a Few
MAJOR Virtues
FAITH If we have lost faith we must work desperately hard to get it back. Ask God to give us faith in him, our fellow man, and ourselves.
HOPE If we have lost hope we are dead pigeons. Only those who have been cruelly hurt and in desperate need can know the wonderful sense of security that lies in hope for better things.
TRUST Since our own self-sufficient conduct of our own life has failed us, we must put our trust in God, who has never failed.
ASK QUESTIONS
No question pertaining to drinking, or stopping drinking, is silly or irrelevant. The matter is too serious. In A.A. we learn by question and answer. We learn by exchanging our thought and our experience with each other. Any question we ask may help someone else. To cover as many questions as possible in the short time available, all answers must be limited to three minutes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HUMILITY
A state of humility is very difficult to attain, but the goal is well worth the effort, considering the serenity that is achieved.
INVENTORY & RESTITUTION
The material contained herein is merely an outline of the inventory and restitution steps and is not intended to replace or supplant:
a. The careful reading and re-reading of the Big Book.
b. Regular attendance at weekly group meetings.
c. Study of the program.
d. Daily practice of the program.
e. Reading of approved printed matter on alcoholism.
f. Informal discussion with other members.
This instruction is not a short-cut to A.A. It is an introduction - - a help - - a brief course in fundamentals.
This meeting covers Steps 4, 8, 9, 10. We will take them in order.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Step No. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The intent and purpose of this step is plain. All alcoholics have a definite need for a good self-analysis - - a sort of self-appraisal. Other people have certainly analyzed us, appraised us, criticized us and even judged us. It might be a good idea to judge ourselves, calmly and honestly. We need inventory because:
Either our faults, weaknesses, defects of character, are the cause of our drinking,
or our drinking has weakened our character and led us into all kinds of wrong action, wrong attitudes, wrong viewpoints.
In either event we obviously need an inventory and the only kind of inventory to make is a good one. Moreover, the job is up to us. We created or we let develop all the anti-social actions that got us in the wrong. So we have got to work it out. We must make out a list of our faults and then we must do something about it.
The inventory must be four things:
It must be honest. Why waste time fooling ourselves with a phony list? We have fooled ourselves for years, we tried to fool others, and now is a good time to look ourselves squarely in the eye.
It must be searching. Why skip over a vital matter lightly and quickly? Our trouble is a grave mental disease, confused by screwy thinking. Therefore, we must search diligently and fearlessly to get at the truth of what is wrong with us - - just dig in and search.
It must be fearless. We must not be afraid we might find things in our heart, mind and soul that we will hate to discover. If we do find such things they may be the root of our trouble.
It must be a moral inventory.
Some, in error, think the inventory is a lot of unpaid debts, plus a list of unmade apologies. Our trouble lies much deeper.
We will find the root of our trouble lies in Resentments, False Pride, Envy, Jealousy, Selfishness and many other things. Laziness is an important one. In other words we are making an inventory of our character: our attitude toward others, our very way of living.
We are not preparing a financial statement. We will pay our bills all right, because we cannot even begin to practice A.A. without honesty.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Step No. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Under this step we will make a written* list of those we have harmed. We ask God to let his will be done, not our will, and ask for the strength and courage to become willing to forget resentments and false pride and make amends to those we have harmed. We must not do this step grudgingly, or as an unpleasant task to be rid of quickly. We must do it willingly, fairly, and humbly - - without condescension.
*The original Detroit pamphlet said "a list (mental or written)," but the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions later made it clear that it needed to be written.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Step No. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is where we make peace with ourselves by making peace with those we have hurt. The amends we make must be direct. We must pay in kind for the hurt we have done them. If we have cheated we must make restitution. If we have hurt their feelings we must ask forgiveness from them. The list of harms done may be long but the list of amends is equally long. For every wrong we have done, there is a right we may do to compensate.
There is only one exception. We must develop a sense of justice, a spirit of fairness, an attitude of common sense. If our effort to make amends would create further harm or cause a scandal, we will have to skip the direct amends and clean the matter up under Step Five.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Step No. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In coming into A.A. we usually will have a pretty big inventory to work on, as in Steps Four, Eight, and Nine. But even after that, we will not be perfect. We have a long way to go. We will continue to make mistakes and will be inclined to do some more wrong thinking and wrong doing. So at intervals, we continue to take inventory. Here the purpose is to check on our progress. We certainly cannot be perfect, so the need for regular inventory is apparent.
These inventories are personal. We confine the inventory to ourselves. We are the ones who need it. Never mind the other fellow! He too is probably troubled and will have to make his own inventory.
When we make these inventories, probably the best way to start is to go over (one by one) each of the twelve steps, and try to discover just what (in these steps) we are not following.
The businessman has to make a physical inventory from time to time. We have to make a personal inventory of ourselves from time to time if we want to recover from a serious mental illness.
Character Defects and Vices
So much for the inventory steps - - now look at some of the things we would do well to cover in an inventory:
Selfishness - - the common vice of all alcoholics.
Egotism - - who is without some of it? Self-Importance, Mr. Big.
False Pride - - too big to admit a fault or an error.
Impatience - - the spoiled child in a grown man.
Resentments - - an alcoholic usually is sore at the whole world. Everybody is wrong!
Lack of common honesty - - usually fooling ourselves and trying to fool others. False pretense, sham.
Deceit.
Hate - - the outgrowth of anger and resentment.
Jealousy - - just wanting what the other fellow worked to get.
Envy - - a sure-fire cause of discontent and unhappiness.
Laziness - - just plain laziness.
And so on through a long list.
Conversely Our Inventory Could
Show a List of Virtues
which we very definitely lack and should go to work on to develop such as:
Honesty
Simple Justice
Fairness
Generosity
Truthfulness
Modesty Humility
Honest Pride in work well done
Simplicity
Patience
Industry (go to work and really work)
And so on through a long list.
Then Consider a Few
MAJOR Virtues
FAITH If we have lost faith we must work desperately hard to get it back. Ask God to give us faith in him, our fellow man, and ourselves.
HOPE If we have lost hope we are dead pigeons. Only those who have been cruelly hurt and in desperate need can know the wonderful sense of security that lies in hope for better things.
TRUST Since our own self-sufficient conduct of our own life has failed us, we must put our trust in God, who has never failed.
ASK QUESTIONS
No question pertaining to drinking, or stopping drinking, is silly or irrelevant. The matter is too serious. In A.A. we learn by question and answer. We learn by exchanging our thought and our experience with each other. Any question we ask may help someone else. To cover as many questions as possible in the short time available, all answers must be limited to three minutes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HUMILITY
A state of humility is very difficult to attain, but the goal is well worth the effort, considering the serenity that is achieved.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 1,924
Beginners Meeting, The Tablemate, Step 12
DISCUSSION No. 4
ACTIVE WORK
The material contained herein is merely an outline of the active working step of the program and is not intended to replace or supplant:
a. The careful reading and re-reading of the Big Book.
b. Regular attendance at weekly group meetings.
c. Study of the program.
d. Daily practice of the program.
e. Reading of approved printed matter on alcoholism.
f. Informal discussion with other members.
This instruction is not a short-cut to A.A. It is an introduction - - a help - - a brief course in fundamentals.
This meeting covers the Twelfth Step.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Step No. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This step logically separates into three parts:
1. The Spiritual Experience
The terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening" used here and in the book Alcoholics Anonymous mean (upon careful reading)
that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many forms.
Do NOT get the impression that these personality changes or spiritual experiences must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous. Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule.
Most of our experiences are what psychologist William James calls "the educational variety" because they develop slowly over a period of time.
Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. The new man gradually realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life - - that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone. What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self-discipline. With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.
Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problem in the light of our experience can recover provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.
We find that no one need have difficulty with the spiritual side of the program. Willingness, Honesty, and Open-Mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.
2. Carry the Message to Others
This means exactly what it says. Carry the message actively. Bring it to the man who needs it. We do it in many ways:
By attending every meeting of our own group.
By making calls when asked.
By speaking at group meetings when asked.
By supporting our group financially to make group meetings possible.
By assisting at meetings when asked.
By setting a good example of complete sobriety.
By owning, and loaning to new men, our own copy of the Big A.A. Book.
By encouraging those who find the way difficult.
By serving as an officer or on group committees or special assignments when asked.
By doing all of the foregoing cheerfully and willingly.
We do any or all of the foregoing at some sacrifice to ourselves with definite thought of developing unselfishness in our own character.
3. We Practice These Principles in All Our Affairs
This last part of the Twelfth Step is the real purpose that all of the twelve steps lead to - - a new way of life, a design for living. It shows how to live rightly, think rightly and to achieve happiness. How do we go about it?
We resolve to live our life one day at a time - - just twenty-four hours.
We pray each day for guidance that day.
We pray each night - - thanks for that day.
We resolve to keep our heads and to forego any anger, no matter what situation arises.
We are patient.
We keep calm, relaxed.
Now and most important: whatever little ordinary situations as well as big situations arise, we look at them calmly and fairly, with an open mind, then act on them in exact accordance with the simple true principles that A.A. has taught and will teach us.
In other words, our sobriety is only a correction of our worst and most evident faults. Our living each day according to the principles of A.A. will also correct all of our other lesser faults and will gradually eliminate, one by one, all of the defects in our character that cause frictions, discontents, and unhappy rebellious moods that lead right back to our very chief fault of drinking.
ASK QUESTIONS
No question pertaining to drinking, or stopping drinking, is silly or irrelevant. The matter is too serious. In A.A. we learn by question and answer. We learn by exchanging our thought and experience with each other. Any question we ask may help someone else. To cover as many questions as possible in the short time available, all answers must be limited to three minutes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Staying on the Beam
Today most commercial flying is done on a radio beam. A directional beam is produced to guide the pilot to his destination, and as long as he keeps on this beam he knows that he is safe, even if he cannot see around him for fog, or get his bearings in any other way.
As soon as he gets off the beam in any direction he is in danger, and he immediately tries to get back on to the beam once more.
Those who believe in the All-ness of God, have a spiritual beam upon which to navigate on the voyage of life. As long as you have peace of mind and some sense of the Presence of God you are on the beam, and you are safe, even if outer things seem to be confused or even very dark; but as soon as you get off the beam you are in danger.
You are off the beam the moment you are angry or resentful or jealous or frightened or depressed; and when such a condition arises you should immediately get back on the beam by turning quietly to God in thought, claiming His Presence, claiming that His Love and Intelligence are with you, and that the promises in the Bible are true today.
If you do this you are back on the beam, even if outer conditions and your own feelings do not change immediately. You are back on the beam and you will reach port in safety.
Keep on the beam and nothing shall by any means hurt you.
- - Emmet Fox
Lest We Forget
I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it NOW. Let me not defer it, or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
- - Stephen Grellet (1773-1855)
ACTIVE WORK
The material contained herein is merely an outline of the active working step of the program and is not intended to replace or supplant:
a. The careful reading and re-reading of the Big Book.
b. Regular attendance at weekly group meetings.
c. Study of the program.
d. Daily practice of the program.
e. Reading of approved printed matter on alcoholism.
f. Informal discussion with other members.
This instruction is not a short-cut to A.A. It is an introduction - - a help - - a brief course in fundamentals.
This meeting covers the Twelfth Step.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Step No. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This step logically separates into three parts:
1. The Spiritual Experience
The terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening" used here and in the book Alcoholics Anonymous mean (upon careful reading)
that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many forms.
Do NOT get the impression that these personality changes or spiritual experiences must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous. Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule.
Most of our experiences are what psychologist William James calls "the educational variety" because they develop slowly over a period of time.
Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. The new man gradually realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life - - that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone. What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self-discipline. With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.
Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problem in the light of our experience can recover provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.
We find that no one need have difficulty with the spiritual side of the program. Willingness, Honesty, and Open-Mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.
2. Carry the Message to Others
This means exactly what it says. Carry the message actively. Bring it to the man who needs it. We do it in many ways:
By attending every meeting of our own group.
By making calls when asked.
By speaking at group meetings when asked.
By supporting our group financially to make group meetings possible.
By assisting at meetings when asked.
By setting a good example of complete sobriety.
By owning, and loaning to new men, our own copy of the Big A.A. Book.
By encouraging those who find the way difficult.
By serving as an officer or on group committees or special assignments when asked.
By doing all of the foregoing cheerfully and willingly.
We do any or all of the foregoing at some sacrifice to ourselves with definite thought of developing unselfishness in our own character.
3. We Practice These Principles in All Our Affairs
This last part of the Twelfth Step is the real purpose that all of the twelve steps lead to - - a new way of life, a design for living. It shows how to live rightly, think rightly and to achieve happiness. How do we go about it?
We resolve to live our life one day at a time - - just twenty-four hours.
We pray each day for guidance that day.
We pray each night - - thanks for that day.
We resolve to keep our heads and to forego any anger, no matter what situation arises.
We are patient.
We keep calm, relaxed.
Now and most important: whatever little ordinary situations as well as big situations arise, we look at them calmly and fairly, with an open mind, then act on them in exact accordance with the simple true principles that A.A. has taught and will teach us.
In other words, our sobriety is only a correction of our worst and most evident faults. Our living each day according to the principles of A.A. will also correct all of our other lesser faults and will gradually eliminate, one by one, all of the defects in our character that cause frictions, discontents, and unhappy rebellious moods that lead right back to our very chief fault of drinking.
ASK QUESTIONS
No question pertaining to drinking, or stopping drinking, is silly or irrelevant. The matter is too serious. In A.A. we learn by question and answer. We learn by exchanging our thought and experience with each other. Any question we ask may help someone else. To cover as many questions as possible in the short time available, all answers must be limited to three minutes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Staying on the Beam
Today most commercial flying is done on a radio beam. A directional beam is produced to guide the pilot to his destination, and as long as he keeps on this beam he knows that he is safe, even if he cannot see around him for fog, or get his bearings in any other way.
As soon as he gets off the beam in any direction he is in danger, and he immediately tries to get back on to the beam once more.
Those who believe in the All-ness of God, have a spiritual beam upon which to navigate on the voyage of life. As long as you have peace of mind and some sense of the Presence of God you are on the beam, and you are safe, even if outer things seem to be confused or even very dark; but as soon as you get off the beam you are in danger.
You are off the beam the moment you are angry or resentful or jealous or frightened or depressed; and when such a condition arises you should immediately get back on the beam by turning quietly to God in thought, claiming His Presence, claiming that His Love and Intelligence are with you, and that the promises in the Bible are true today.
If you do this you are back on the beam, even if outer conditions and your own feelings do not change immediately. You are back on the beam and you will reach port in safety.
Keep on the beam and nothing shall by any means hurt you.
- - Emmet Fox
Lest We Forget
I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it NOW. Let me not defer it, or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
- - Stephen Grellet (1773-1855)
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